Swamped

you honestly did it as a joke, not very funny looking back though

That darn joke cost you everything and left you ostracized. This was the only chance you had to make enough money to set things right.

It all started with a joke.

The sort of joke where you say in public what everyone says in private, and of course they suddenly don't think it's very funny. No matter how hard they were laughing when your uncle made the same damn joke a week ago.

A joke about greblings. You barely even remember it now, but you do remember how quickly everyone abandoned you. Even your uncle didn't want you around - after all, these greblings had money, and they wouldn't spend it on him if you were close by.

It was a stupid joke, you realize now. But you also realize none of them really cared. They just didn't want to get lumped in with you. After all, there was money to be made by playing nice with greblings.

At least until there wasn't. You heard the relationship went sour after you left, not that you were surprised. You knew well just how phony it had been in the first place.

Of course, now you're the one chasing after grebling money. You've got no clue why a wealthy grebling was willing to sponsor a ship to rediscover the route to the other continent, but you didn't exactly have a lot of other job prospects. And it's not as if you had any pride left to swallow.

Still, at times like this, you almost miss the miserable life you left behind. At least the ground stayed still beneath your feet.

Well. You think you just about figured out where you are. According to the old chart, there's some inhabited islands about a day away. It's probably worth a stop so you can see if there's any damage to the ship. Maybe you can even resupply.

Suddenly, you hear a bell ring. Thankfully, despite all the commotion going on, it's not an alarm - it's one of the small chimes in your quarters that the officers use to tell you you're needed. One for each officer, including the wizard.

So who's calling you now?

Is it Cookie?

it better not be cookie, you are gonna be so pissed

Hells. Of course it's Cookie's bell, it was unrealistic of you to expect any option other than the worst one.

Cookie's in charge of maintenance and the general cleanliness of the ship. They never contact you unless there's a problem with one or the other, and usually you get roped into fixing it because they don't consider navigation a priority job.

If you're lucky, it's just a nasty spill that needs to be wiped up. You're not expecting to be lucky.

You head down to the quartermaster's. You always meet Cookie there because you never know what equipment you're going to need, so it's easiest if you can request it right after hearing what you need to do.

And sure enough, when you arrive Cookie is waiting, looking about as happy as always. Which is to say, slightly less enthusiastic than you. Well, best to get this over with...

Wait. Someone else is with them. It takes you a moment to recognize who it is.

its the PR lady!

Wait, when did you have a PR lady?

More like "ministry of propaganda" lady >:(

Oh hells. It's Rebecca, probably the one person on this damn boat you want to see less than Cookie.

She's not technically an officer, but she's here under the authority of the Lansor government. Which means she can pretty much overrule the captain on anything, barring an emergency. Allegedly she's here to serve as an official negotiator with any new peoples you encounter on your journey, but mostly she seems to be here to make sure everyone understands how "great" Lansor is for approving this voyage.

In short, she's a huge phony. You generally deal with her by keeping your head down and focusing on your charts. Opening your big damn mouth has gotten you in enough trouble already, so you don't see any sense in inviting more.

So what's she doing here?

Well, whatever it is, Cookie'll probably explain soon enough. Unless you're unusually lucky and she's got nothing to do with this. Regardless, time to bite the bullet.

"Ho, Cookie! You rang for me?"

"Yeah," Cookie grunts. "There's an infestation in Ms. Rebecca's room. We think the nest has been there for a while and the storm's agitated them. The sailors are all busy batting down the hatches and all that, so you're our best bet for taking care of this."

"Hang on," you ask. "Infestation of what?"

Cookie gives you a glare.

"The same thing we're always infested with! You telling me you haven't done an extermination job before?"

"Well, no. So what am I dealing with?"

creatures affectionately referred to as "inside-out bugs"

Blistering barnacle babies!

"We call 'em inside-outers," Cookie explains. "Because they're kind of like barnacles, but with a tendency to cluster indoors instead of out. Well, they're like that until they grow up, then they're more like cockroaches. Thing is, when they get wild like this, they get all over everything. Real unpleasant, and you especially don't want 'em getting near the food. You seriously never ran into 'em before? They're always slippin' in."

"This is all new to me. So what do I need to do, exactly?"

"It's a two step process. For the first step, you need this." Cookie reaches over and hands you a bucket full of powder.

"Isn't this laundry powder?"

"Yeah. Don't know why, but it wrecks 'em. Especially their eggs. Thing is, whatever it does to them leaves a huge mess. Sticky bits of inside-out bugs everywhere. So step two is mopping up. Come back here when you're done with step one."

"And I'll be going with you," Rebecca interjects. "Disturbing as these pests are, I have important things in my quarters and it's going to be far easier on us both if I can warn you about them in advance."

You mull over this.

"So hang on. What do I do if these bugs are on something important? Do I just put the laundry powder on it anyways?"

"That depends on what it is," she says. "I'll handle it if it requires particular care."

Great. So you've got to do a messy job killing bugs, while under her watchful eyes. You could hardly imagine a less enjoyable task.

Well. You're inclined to just go and get it over with, but on the other hand, if there's anything else you need to clear up, you should probably do it now.

lets go powder some bugs!

They better not be very big.

Do I need to sign a non-disclosure agreement or something in case I see something I oughtn't? Or will you just tell me when to close my eyes?

"Just how big are these bugs?" you ask.

"Tiny. Smaller'n your fingernail, even full-grown. But there's a lot of'em," Cookie says. "Still, since they're so small that means the powder goes further. That bucket oughta be enough even if they've covered every inch of the room."

You don't know if you want to imagine that. Well, at least you won't have to deal with big bugs, you suppose.

"Okay, I guess I know enough," you say. "All right, I'll take care of it right away."

You head off, with Rebecca a few steps behind. She soon gets ahead of you, which is fair enough - it's her quarters, after all. But as you walk, you find yourself worrying about something.

"So, hang on. You've got important government papers and stuff in your room, right? And I bet you don't want me peeking at them."

"Most of the sensitive information is outdated by now. We're six months away from shore, after all," she replies. "Anything that might not be, I keep in a safe place. It should even be safe from this infestation, though if I'm wrong on that, I'll deal with it myself."

Well, that's one less thing to worry about, you suppose. You keep following her up through the decks. A few sailors give you both unplreasant glances, but they all seem to be preoccupied.

"Here we are," she finally says, stopping outside an ornate door. "I'd appreciate it if you went in first."

Yeah, of course she would. Then you can clean up the floor so she doesn't get her feet dirty, right?

But as soon as she pulls the door open, you see something very odd, aside from the huge swarm of bugs you were already expecting.

Risqué lingerie!

Hey wait a minute, that's a person!

"You didn't warn me you were just leaving your underwear out," you grumble. "I didn't need to know this much about your clothing preferences."

Rebecca gives you a concerned look.

"What are you talking about? Everything's in my wardrobe. I didn't..." She pauses as she looks in. "Hold on, that's not mine. It's far too big, for one thing."

She walks over and picks the slip up. Beneath it is... the quartermaster's little girl?

"Suzy!" you growl. "What are you doing in Ms. Rebecca's room? Especially when it's filled with bugs."

She just sticks her tongue out at you.

"And whose underwear is this, anyways? No, you know what, I'd rather not know that. Put it back where you found it and apologize to the owner."

Still not saying anything, Suzy storms out. You suppose you'll have to bring this up with her mother later, but for now you've got a job to do.

"So," you say, turning to Rebecca. "Is there any particular part of the room you'd like me to deal with first?"

Bed, please.

under the floorboards if you can

"They're likely nesting under the floorboards, so it would be best to check there as soon as you can," she says. "But then again, with so many in the main area, that might not be feasible. Start with the bed, then. If for some reason you can't finish the whole thing, at least we can drag that out and I'll have a comfortable place to sleep."

Ew. They seem even more densely clustered on the bed than in the rest of the room. You reach into the bucket and pull out a handful of laundry powder, then sprinkle it over the bugs, trying to spread it as much as possible.

Wow, this is messy. The bugs are practically exploding, leaving just a pile of black goo behind. You have to admit it's pretty effective, though.

Before long, instead of a bed covered in bugs, you have a bed covered in... well, probably bug blood. Not the biggest of improvements, but then again, at least the blood isn't moving.

"You sure it's okay to leave it like that?" you ask.

"I'm told their remains don't stain," Rebecca replies. "If that turns out to be wrong, well, I'll just have to get new sheets."

Well, you suppose it's not your problem, then. Even if you are finding it pretty unpleasant to look at.

So where will you focus your attention now? She said to check under the floorboards, so you probably want to clear some space where you can have a good look down below. But where would that be?

Why not under the bed?

Why not under the bed?