You Wake Up In A Bar

Let's have coffee as a base. Add cream, a few drops of astral nectar, and a pinch of Fortuna's salt. Top it will whipped cream and starry sprinkles.

I dont care what we serve this nerd but we gotta have sprinkles on it

I dont care what we serve this nerd but we gotta have sprinkles on it

Make a full quarter of it liquified sprinkles.

>Assignment: Head Advertiser
>Make Stax (after they've had a nice drink) go out and bring new people to the bar

>Assignment: Head Advertiser
>Make Stax (after they've had a nice drink) go out and bring new people to the bar

oh god.

Number one way to make sure nobody comes here.

>Assignment: Head Advertiser
>Make Stax (after they've had a nice drink) go out and bring new people to the bar

oh god.

Number one way to make sure nobody comes here.

Stax brought NAME here.

Gotta start strong, Greene.

You have known Stax for one year. You have known this bar and all its little quirks for one year. Two growths of your existence have been comprised of this place and time, even if the people around you do not yet realize it. Life is in standstill until you move, and for a little while now, you've not been in control at all, have you?








The world shifts back into focus. Terrats, in all its sunny emptiness, shifts back into focus. You're still here.

You're still here.

Gotta start strong, Greene. You begin preparing the starman's drink in all its complicated, messy glory, with two slowly-steadying hands. The glare coming in through the dusty windows is fueling you once more, and everything is beginning to make sense again.






...ah, foreshadowing! You know it when you see it.






You interrupt him with a firm, stern voice, pausing your efforts to badly shake his drink.














With that relatively settled, you decide a good way to cap things off would be to serve Stax his drink, at last! You can't resist a grin as you place his swirling mass of colors in front of him, complete with green onion stalk straws.

As he leans forth to begin enjoying his new drink, glowing a bit with noticeable happiness, you hear the door to the Starwood Bough slowly peel open-- and the figure of a rather awkward gun-person saunters forth! With both of its eyes plastered on one side, it uncomfortably shifts the barrel of itself around, aiming wildly at you and Stax before standing perpendicular, trying to get a good view.

Looks, to you, like Clippy Butagun wants The Big Nerbug Writer.

...whatever that means.




Uh oh.



Cup status: 7 free, 1 occupied (Stax's Shaken Starred)
Meloncup status: 1 free
Plate status: 4 free
Mug status: 2 free

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Abilities



Scavenger: Available (1/1 uses)
Gain a cup and plate every day, on command.

Intrusive: Enabled
Introduction cards show a bio for a given character.

Intuitive: Enabled
Introduction cards show somebody's ingredient preferences.

Phytochemist: Enabled (bright)
Create drinks/meals automatically (at half speed) during sunlit hours.

Collaborative: Enabled
Attach any length of Cabinet entry to an ingredient suggestion at will.

Perfectionist: Enabled
Gain a hint about quintessential ingredients for drinks/meals. Succeeding makes that quintessential ingredient limitless.

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Time & Orders
Time: 0702:000
Afternoon at: 724:00
Evening at: 748:00
Night at: 780:00

Clippy Butagun wants The Big Nerbug Writer.
Status: Nothing yet done.

Nadezhda wants to find SYLG.
Status: Drinkmaster Greene is fated to find SYLG.

Thanks to your extensive work on the Shaken Starred, you have a wealth of wondrous and wacky ingredients at your disposal, with new information given about each of them. This information can be found in the Cabinet, and this Cabinet would be a great place to find existing ingredients for use in Clippy Butagun's order, as well as creating new ones!

Speaking of Clippy Butagun, this elusive character can be referenced later in the Lineup, a place to find information and bios on characters without having to search through YWUIAB.

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Author's NotesIt's no secret that I've been gone a while! Well, it hasn't been for nothing, but sometimes looking back at this it can feel that way. I know it can really detract from the ex[c=#0026A5]p[/c]erience of following [c=#0026A5]a[/c]n adventure to have these big gap[c=#0026A5]s[/c], and I wan[c=#0026A5]t[/c] d[c=#0026A5]e[/c]sperately for them not to happen, [c=#0026A5]b[/c]ut [c=#0026A5]I[/c] got caught up i[c=#0026A5]n[/c] a lot of things all at once[c=#0026A5]. Com[/c]ing from this time of inactivity[c=#0026A5]/[/c]distraction is a lot of music I've been working on (one of which is the music for this update!) as well as my first term in college, as well as some unhealthy time spent playing new games. (Try Return of the Obra [c=#0026A5]D[/c]inn, no matter who you are! [c=#0026A5]F[/c]un times. [c=#0026A5]G[/c]ood murders.)

[c=#0026A5]S[/c]o this update is the one-year anniversary of You Wake Up In A Bar. It's by no means the end, because I have an endless [c=#0026A5]w[/c]ealth of things planned, but it always comes down to prioritizing them over whatever other thing happens to be going on, or whatever [c=#0026A5]Z[/c]one I happen to be in. On a good note, though, this is the first time I've spent a year on a thing without completely giving up. I know for a lot of people that's not much, but it's neat that I'm still here, still enjoying everyone on ET, still enjoying making YWUIAB, and still excited for its future. [c=#0026A5]Q[/c]uite a bit hinges on continuing after this one, which I hope to do!

Well, sorry for the diatribe, though. I hope you enjoyed this update.

See ya again soon. Maybe P[c=#0026A5]a[/c]irtree? We'll see.

it's time for our first ever Second Try at a specific drink. let's go back Into That Foggy Night, but with hyperdrink like that fucker said, and also add some melon tones in

Hmm. So Clippy likes "Flux"-y things, which I'm assuming would be things that move around a bunch. So by including lots of things to do with standing still or being slow, we can calm it down in two ways -- by including things it doesn't like, and by directly slowing it down.

Matterhorn chunks, honey, and caramel would be a good start, but it's a shame we don't have anymore Gonit milk, molasses, or Chloral Hydride. It's tempting to say, combine Urgency and Antipodal Shards, but both of those could be described as "helper chemicals" since they work to modify other properties.

A fresh dawn, with a fresh start.
I've no specific recipe suggestions for our customer, beyond one ingredient being Bartender's Choice, but I do have one for the Bartender's personal cabinet.

(1) Whipped Dream (Diluted)
(1) Fractal Apple Cider
(1) Asuralchohol
(1) Honey
(1) Cinnamon Stick

Pour the honey, asuralchohol, and fractal apple cider in roughly equal amounts. Add a drop of whipped dream, stir vigourously with the cinnamon stick, crumble the stick into the beverage.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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Crackling Radio
"And now, a message from your sponsors."
~~~
"...And lo, I looked beyond the glass, and bore the visage of those outside space and time...."
~~~
"...We accepted the invitation, it was a rare thing indeed to be invited by the Marquis to her celebrations, and we must be prepared to greet her accordingly...."
~~~
"...You were welcome here. You were always welcome. How could you not? They were your friends, your trusted compatriots. You fought side-by-side, saw things others wouldn't, couldn't understand...."
~~~
"And that's all our for our lovely broadcasters this fine evening. We hope you'll tune in again next time, and wish you all a wonderful life."

Hmm, it may not be the greatest idea to make a drink that clippy hates. We could make it an angry sort of exited.

Tape.....a content face to the cup..
A content face doesnt need help, and that might help clippy CALM DOWN

also

pastebin.com/DFGSwZQa

Oh fuck

Also, while we're making the drink, just remind Clippy to stay calm at the same time.

With no hesitation, you immediately set to the task of fulfilling Clippy's order and getting this day started off on the right foot! This particular patron seems like it's another minefield you'll have to navigate around to avoid exciting or upsetting it, and you get the idea to use last night's recipe for just that purpose.








You start getting things going-- with largely a different ingredient set, but overall the same flavors and textures. Something with a lot of variety, but fruity and sweet tones. Having some 'flux chemicals' in the form of shaved matterhorn also seems like a pretty great idea!

The main ingredient that the mysterious voice told you about, krokoan hyperdrink, seems especially heavy and brightly-glowing, but you manage to find a small canister in the very back of your bar.







Stax suddenly lights up like a star! Well, more of a star than usual.




Clippy Butagun swivels interestedly in the chair, hammer ominously clicking back and forth.












(You silently reflect on the fact that you weren't particularly given a choice. Clippy just came into your life all-of-a-sudden!)









The drink finally comes out after you slap a sticky-note face on the front, to assure Clippy of the cup's contentedness. It need not any sort of prodding or assistance-- it's a perfectly happy substance!

Perfectionist activates-- you have gained an infinite supply of "Krokoan Hyperdrink" and found the Into That Foggy Night's quintessential ingredient!

Clippy Butagun instantly starts shoveling the Into That Foggy Night into its muzzle, slurping the lumpy Melon Tone Concentrate amidst huge swaths of dissolved cinnamon and thin honey. You intended the shaved matterhorn to last the whole drink, but Clippy's drinking it so fast that you suppose it doesn't really matter.




However, something seems to change once Clippy properly finishes the cup-- its whole cast-metal body suddenly stiffens up, and its loose-fitted mechanisms screech to a halt.




The paperclip who is a gun is now sitting very, very still.






Stax spends a few moments investigating Clippy, testing to make sure its eyes are still responsive to stimuli, which they are-- barely. Before he can get much better of a look, two large, clambering figures enter the bar, both with a tube trailing behind them! One of them appears to be the familiar face of Depricae, but the other is a more aggressive, bulky-looking variety of CES, and she loudly announces her presence.




You immediately adopt your welcoming demeanor, trying not to let Clippy's sudden catatonia get to you.

Mordicae's many, many eyes suddenly widen, and she grapples the meek-looking Depricae to bring them both up to the bar.






That's... almost all the coins you currently have.








Well, this is certainly an interesting opportunity! Hiring one or both of the CES would cost you a big chunk of your current funds (100 coins for the day, each), nearly everything you earned over the course of yesterday's work-- but they could easily lighten your workload in one way or another.

If you were hiring, you would also have to pick a job for each CES to do. A mismanaged pick could lead to disaster in the future!



Cup status: 6 free, 1 dirty (Into That Foggy Night), 1 occupied (Stax's Shaken Starred)
Meloncup status: 1 free
Plate status: 4 free
Mug status: 2 free

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Abilities



Scavenger: Available (1/1 uses)
Gain a cup and plate every day, on command.

Intrusive: Enabled
Introduction cards show a bio for a given character.

Intuitive: Enabled
Introduction cards show somebody's ingredient preferences.

Phytochemist: Enabled (bright)
Create drinks/meals automatically (at half speed) during sunlit hours.

Collaborative: Enabled
Attach any length of Cabinet entry to an ingredient suggestion at will.

Perfectionist: Enabled
Gain a hint about quintessential ingredients for drinks/meals. Succeeding makes that quintessential ingredient limitless.

Show Content

Time & Orders
Time: 0704:000
Afternoon at: 724:00
Evening at: 748:00
Night at: 780:00

Mordicae might want a big pro meal.
Status: Nothing yet done.

Nadezhda wants to find SYLG.
Status: Drinkmaster Greene is fated to find SYLG.

The use of Perfectionist and some advice from a friend has allowed you to gain your first endless supply of an ingredient, listed in the Cabinet alongside all other newly-used substances.

You've also gained access to the Chronochart, which documents all events in the YWUNIVERSE that have been found thus far!

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Author's Notes
Thanks for the patience, and thanks so much to Myeth for the art of this new patron, which has one of my favorite looks!

Don't forget to check out VEBBINQUEST for a side-story that I'm incredibly proud of, and has some relevance to modern YWUIAB.

don't hire

food: plate sandwich

>Don't hire them

Don't hire them yet. Tell them your current income simply isn't enough to pay them that amount, but maybe once you get more business you can bring them on. Ask them what kind of positions they would like to have if the opportunity comes up.
(Although, now that I think about it, what exactly do we use coins for?)

A pro meal at this hour? Gonna have to be a breakfast of champions.

Pan-fry a fillet of kilgorian trout; once it's seared on both sides pour in half a bottle of Rain of Memoria. The poaching will evaporate off the less-common permutations of the trout, while leaving the duringtaste of what it never wasn't.

Serve on wholegrain toast, garnished with Veteran Parsley lemon zest and hollondaise sauce. Maybe some bacon on the side? Mushrooms?

Ask mordicae how they like their eggs. Stick whole orange and a shot of vodka into a juicer. Serve with an actual screwdriver in the glass once the rest of the meal is done.

We could have Dep wash our stuff. That way dep gets out of its house and we'll be to spend more time making food and less time cleaning it up. We can use the saved time to serve food to more people, or make more substances with the unshaken.

While you wouldn't mind having more hands at work, the price doesn't work for you. Still, you got an order, and you're determined to start with it anyhow! Grabbing two plates, you affix them to each other, something which is somehow a built-in function, and you make a clamshell shape, ready to accept anything within as a sandwich. You reckon this'll be a good way to finish off the dish, but for now you get started on pan-frying some odd-looking fish and getting some help along the process.






Stax suddenly hops to work, and you're astounded by how... happy he looks, right now. His gleaming self is gleaming even brighter than normal, and the slightly cautious but overall eager demeanor is... well, it's encouraging. You just hope it's all the way sincere, or at least a nice balance between sincere and Stax.

With things started, though, you figure you can tell Mordicae you're unfortunately not interested in hiring.




Mordicae huffs out sharply with disappointment, and gives the ground a mean look.






It sounds like Mordicae could produce new ingredients with her CES production system, and she'd also want to verbally critique every meal you make.






You think Depricae could wash dishes, or otherwise keep things clear, but it definitely doesn't want to get too close to the meal-making process or aromas.




Well, that's a rather different offer. 50 coins for either hiree might fit more easily into your budget. You ponder it a moment as you flip the kilgorian trout and begin very slowly drizzling the contents of a Rain of Memoria bottle, which was an exceptionally interesting-looking condiment in your bar.





Stax suddenly leans over, beaming, and retrieving a scrap of paper from the ether with a soft, sparkly 'swoosh'.




You take a brief look, leafy brow furrowing.

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Transcription by HandyBot33K
COINS - PRODUCT
15 - single bomblet which scares & arouses on command to easy
20 - red paint (summons vineryture)
125 - hysas statue which summons an new guest to your cafe
322 - cardboard from "a nickel"
76 - sczeok
87 - an Electric Whak that will hurt you if you blow your head off

do you like the store? please provide more information on products to expand Library

59 watery balloon that explodes. then it explodes
250 - large rasonare fire weapon
62 - simultaneously blue, and red, large black vertifilier
181 - [battleship]

do you like the store? please provide more information on products to expand Library

24 - not easy enough to get rid of, small spiker
355 - quinticals
1920 - WGART-sponsored official Catalog for spacious items
294 - easily-assigned bexeretation

...wow. You're not sure how to properly respond to some of these things. Why would you want an electric whak that hurts you if you blow your head off? When would that circumstance come up?










He says 'plate' just as you start to plate everything, including his many assorted contributions. You're a bit proud of the starman! The Hollandaise even looks like real food.

Mordicae groans a bit.






Well, that is another option. Hiring Laren might be a decent, if temporary, way to assuage some of her problems, but you're really not sure how sustainable that is, especially with Stax around. You recall a couple doctors thus far, as well-- O'Hare, who seemed good at helping organic beings, but seems to have little disregard for bedside manner, and Sublimate, who seemed good at helping mechanical beings, but also tended to want to diagnose people's personal problems alongside.

You'd have to meet with them somehow first, and each might want some coinage to pay for their work, and the General Store might have desired items.

There's also a question of how you should finish off this meal and drink! The food is starting to be plated, but any finishing touches (including any creative use of the plate clamshell) is up in the air, and the drink right now is only a juiced lemon-vodka mix with a screwdriver.

Finally, there's Clippy Butagun, who is still just sitting completely frozen in a barely-lucid catatonia.



Cup status: 5 free, 2 dirty (Into That Foggy Night, Shaken Starred), 1 occupied (Mordicae's WIP [0.5/1])
Meloncup status: 1 free
Plate status: 2 free, 2 occupied (Mordicae's WIP [1/3])
Mug status: 2 free

Show Content

Abilities



Scavenger: Available (1/1 uses)
Gain a cup and plate every day, on command.

Intrusive: Enabled
Introduction cards show a bio for a given character.

Intuitive: Enabled
Introduction cards show somebody's ingredient preferences.

Phytochemist: Enabled (bright)
Create drinks/meals automatically (at half speed) during sunlit hours.

Collaborative: Enabled
Attach any length of Cabinet entry to an ingredient suggestion at will.

Perfectionist: Enabled
Gain a hint about quintessential ingredients for drinks/meals. Succeeding makes that quintessential ingredient limitless.

Show Content

Time & Orders
Time: 0706:000
Afternoon at: 724:00
Evening at: 748:00
Night at: 780:00

Mordicae might want a big pro meal.
Status: A champion's breakfast, kilgorian trout, Hollandaise and spacetatoes, 2/3rds done. A SuperScrewdriver on the side done using Phytochemist, 0.5/1 done.

Mordicae wants to do what she's good at.
Status: No leads yet.

Nadezhda wants to find SYLG.
Status: Drinkmaster Greene is fated to find SYLG.

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Author's Notes
Thank you to the GPT-2 bot and Kaynato for help on making the procedural laundry list of purchasable items, courtesy of the General Store.

quinticals

>I want to save up our coins. I'm sure you'd both be good workers, be can't hire you right now.

Ask Stax what that line on the pamphlet about providing more information to expand the library meant.
Ask Mordicae who this 'Muffy' person was. You know, just out of curiosity.

As for the meal, Mordicae likes post-obscure, acid punk, hostile art, and edible fashion. hm. I kind of have no idea how to incorporate those things into this meal. How about you sprinkle some, uh, "vibrative leptals" over the drink.
Vibrative leptals are a sugar-like substance, except slightly green. They have a slightly sour taste, and when imbibed they cause a minor reverberation throughout the consumers body, as if they were listening to loud, fast-moving and aggressive rock, except without actually hearing any music. The reverberation varies speed and pitch over time, until it finally fades away.

"Hostile art"? "Edible Fashion"? I know just the thing: Edible thornvines! This will probably go bad.

Additionally, let's not buy anything yet.