Swamped

Who left all these hogs out???

Oh hey it's [that guy likes animals and talks to Dean]!

You make your decision - you trust Mantis can handle whatever's going on over there. This squibling needs attention as soon as possible. You'll investigate once you have it secured.

As it happens, when you arrive at the menagerie, you find Shrike herding some of your swamphogs back into their pen. The animals get excited as you enter, and Shrike groans. Then he turns towards the door to see what all the fuss is, and his face goes pale.

"You're back," he says, surprised.

"Not really," you groan. It's inconvenient running into someone, but at least you know Shrike can be trusted to care for the animal. "I found this stray squibling in the halls. I don't know how it got there and have no time to investigate the matter myself. In the immediate term, however, it needs food and care before we can return it to the wild."

Shrike nods.

"Yeah, I can handle the feeding. Longer-term stuff, well, that's going to be a problem. Especially if something happened to the mother squib. But one worry at a time, right?"

"I'm counting on you," you say, as Shrike takes the squib to an empty pen.

"You want this robe back?"

"Not especially."

Then you turn your attention to the animals.

Emerald isn't here, of course. You'd never confine your closest friend to a pen. But everyone else is, and you can tell they've been agitated in your absence.

You certainly don't have time to comfort them all, but it might be good to take a moment to calm one of your more troublesome pets. That should make things a bit easier for the Marshguards who have to handle them in your stead.

So, which of the beasts will you attend to?

The big birdie with the long, long bill. It's been quite upset since its penmate died of natural causes, and even the smallest disruption is cause for a big ol' feathery tantrum.

The big birdie with the long, long bill. It's been quite upset since its penmate died of natural causes, and even the smallest disruption is cause for a big ol' feathery tantrum.

Be called Drillbeaks, named due to their ability to pierce solid stone.

You walk towards one of the larger pens.

Drillbeak doesn't need this much space, but you can't simply put another longbird in here. The adjustment period would be too harsh, with how aggressive Drillbeak can be. Greywing was able to handle it, but you doubt you can find another longbird with that level of patience and stamina.

Of course, leaving Drillbeak alone has had its issues, as well. For all the fuss he makes when anyone else is around, he doesn't like being alone. And if he gets really angry... well, his beak is stronger than most of the armor you've got on base.

It would definitely be in everyone's interest to soothe him. You head into his pen.

"Shrike," you say.

"Whassat?"

"You may want to pay attention here."

Drillbeak starts honking aggressively. Even you don't fully have his trust; that's just how he is. But you do know how to calm him.

You begin singing.

You don't particularly like being watched when you do this, but there's little choice. Somebody's going to have to take care of the poor thing until you get back, and you have no idea how long it will take to sort things out in the desert. You might not even be able to take a gateway back.

Drillbeak honks along with the song, and then falls asleep. You step out, grab the feed bucket and toss a large bogfish in, then close the pen.

Shrike just stares.

"My singing's not that good, sir," he says.

"Drillbeak doesn't care much for the quality. Just stick to roughly the same melody and he'll be fine." You glance around. "I have to go now, unfortunately."

"Hang on, hang on," Shrike says. "I get you're in a rush for whatever reason, but your friends here can be a real handful. Anything else I need to know before you leave?"

aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAShow

MY FUCKING HEART
OH MY GOD
THIS IS PRECIOUS IM CRYING
IM
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAa

Well, the other one that might give you trouble is right over... Why is its pen empty?

that one has diabetes; see ya!

I fucking love resident animal nerd Rider.
> Rider, give a massive detailed list for every single one of them, including but not limited to: eating and sleeping habits, traits, likes/dislikes, a mating manual and a list of cool (dorky) names you want Shrike to pick from for the new additions.

I fucking love resident animal nerd Rider.
> Rider, give a massive detailed list for every single one of them, including but not limited to: eating and sleeping habits, traits, likes/dislikes, a mating manual and a list of cool (dorky) names you want Shrike to pick from for the new additions.

Please

I will straight up write several paragraphs for fictional animal dork I don't even mind.

You don't have time to go over everything, of course. There are a thousand little habits, all of them second nature to you, but they'd take days to describe.

Shrike's observant. He can work out most of those with a little time. You want to focus on the ones he might miss, or that are hard to learn without someone getting hurt.

"Cabbage here is on a special diet," you say, pointing to your smallest brown muckdiver. "Her digestion hasn't been so good lately, and she can't get everything she needs from the regular plants. That's what this bucket is for - it's a mixture that goes through her system more smoothly. Dip the plants in it before feeding her. And she's got to eat four times a day, not two like the rest."

"Got it," Shrike says.

"Aside from that, the main issue is Frills here... I know he may not look like much, but when he gets mad, he spits like..."

You pause.

"Why isn't Frills isn't in his pen?"

"It was empty when I got here, sir. Haven't checked the feeding schedule yet, I was getting the hogs back in. But I assume whoever fed them last would have made a note..."

You glance over the schedule. It's as he says - Crosswinds stopped by for feeding and makes no mention of missing animals. And they'd certainly catch something like that.

Worrying as this is, you've got no time for it now. You need to see Viper, and you'd like to check on that noise you heard in the hall first to make sure everything's all right.

All you can do for the moment is give Shrike your best guess as to where Frills might be hiding.

Frills likes high places and cozy corners, much like a domestic housecat. The difference is a housecat won't spit purple gunk at you.

Better hope he didn't make it up to the crows.

Frills likes high places and cozy corners, much like a domestic housecat. The difference is a housecat won't spit purple gunk at you.

Better hope he didn't make it up to the crows.

Seconded

But if the gunk is blue it means Frills has changed sex and you'd better start looking for egg sacs in the rafters.

"Frills tends to seek out high places. Give him enough time and he'll turn up in the Roost. It would be best to check it right away, in case he's used the chance to slip out of the fortress entirely."

"Oh, that's already covered. Seems there's been some trouble there lately, so Razor's got it under watch."

"In that case, tell the sentries to keep their masks on. They won't want lizard bile all over their faces, after all. Oh, but if the bile is blue rather than purple, it means Frills has turned female and you need to look for her eggs. It's not the right season for it, but with everything that's been happening lately, I don't want to take chances."

"Warn the roost guards, blue bile means check for eggs... got it. Good luck with whatever you're doing, sir."

"Thank you, Shrike. Good luck to you, as well. Sandy's litter is due any day now, after all."

"Wait, which one... oh, never mind, I'll work it out."

You're already on the way out. You stop by where you heard the noise before, hoping Mantis has taken care of it.

It didn't quite work out that way. A worm-lizard has Mantis pinned down, and Yvonne is trying desperately to pry it off.

You promptly sever the thing's head with your spear and lift it off him with your free hand.

"My apologies, Mantis," you say, handing the head to him as he gets up. "If I'd known you were having trouble, I would have come sooner."

"It was right under her when it struck," he says, pointing to Yvonne. "I couldn't tell it was a separate aura, they were both too unfamiliar. Caught me off guard."

"Well. Dispose of the head before it rots. The body will grow another head in a week or so, but hopefully we can get it back to the desert before then."

"Understood."

He walks off without further questions.

"Yvonne, I'll see you at the gateway. Bring the worm-lizard with you if you can manage it, otherwise I'll grab it on my way back."

"Strings said your book was missing," she says nervously.

"I expected that at this point. I'm moving to my contingency plan."

You're now Yvonne again, and you're not sure what to make of what you just saw.

You also have a decapitated worm-lizard squirming around through a hole in the floor. Without its head, it's disoriented and largely harmless. Rider's right, it's probably best to just bring it back with you.

It's too big for you to lift. But perhaps you can guide it somehow?

Gross. If it can sense motion, maybe you'll have to just wave something in front of the neck stump and lead it around. Grody. Augh. Honestly who even knows, it's not like you can leash it.

> Ask Rider if you can take that large Desert Boar back too. Good thing they become docile after they lose a fight.
.
.
.
Wait, that means you have to beat it first!! Why did Rider agree to this???

We need some rope or something we can tie around the worm lizard's torso. Actually, will our tail work?

You contemplate tying something around the tail-half, but all you've got at hand is your own tail. Which isn't really long enough even if you were willing to make the effort.

You can try to get it to sense your motion, at least. You wave your tail, and the lizard-worm twitches in roughly your direction.

Ugh. You don't think you can get it out of the floor, it doesn't have anything to push or pull itself with. So you suppose your best bet is leading it under the floor. You're used to that space now, at least.

Though you'd feel better if you could be sure there wasn't anything else lurking under there. Well, nothing to do but take the chance. You slip under the floor, again, and the lizard-worm follows as it detects your tail swaying.

You feel embarrassed. But, better that this brute gets back to its own habitat.

Suddenly, you think you spot something up ahead... oh hells, you can just make out the shape. It's Crosswinds. They'll spot you any moment now and then you'll have to explain why you're leading a decapitated lizard-worm around under their base.

That's not a conversation you're eager to have. Is there any way around it?

here we come, bird noises

here we come, bird noises

^

When in doubt, make bird noises.

You think desperately, but nothing comes to mind. So, you resort to what you've done the rest of the day when you were out of ideas.

You make a crow call.

This is most likely just going to draw Crosswinds' attention to you sooner, but the conversation might go slightly better if you start it.

Suddenly, you feel a strong bump behind you. It seems your birdcall has agitated the lizard-worm, and despite its limited senses, it's rushing forward as fast as it can.

You're prepared for it, and can shift yourself out of the way before it bounds past. Crosswinds isn't so lucky. The worm rams them with a speed you didn't expect it to be able to achieve, then goes bounding past.

You head over quickly to investigate. Crosswinds is lying still, groaning. They seem to be conscious, but in pain, and they aren't reacting to you at all.

What should you do?

follow that worm!