you've been peeling bananas wrong this whole time

it turns out if a banana peels itself in a forest, it doesn't make a sound

it turns out if you place it on a turntable that little needle will scrape the peel off right before you flip it to the B-side.

it turns out you have to call a friend for help

it turns out you have to poll the audience for ideas

it turns out you're supposed to feel crushing hopelessness at your inability to best a goddamn fruit and malinger upon that fact for days on end

it turns out that the only winning move is not to play

it turns out you have to take the banana out for a fancy dinner, compliment the banana's peel, laugh at the banana's jokes, seduce the banana, and then take it back to your place- the peel comes right off~

it turns out you're supposed to fold at the first sign of adversity, settle for eating an apple instead, and spend the rest of your life failing to convince yourself you'd prefer to eat apples anyway

It turns out that's actually a carrot.

It turns out that's actually a carrot.

it turns out it's just a curvy carrot

it turns out everyone in this thread owes me royalties

It turns out you can pay royalties with with bananas.

it turns out good advice transcends copyright law

it turns out you're supposed to use a specialised gadget, designed by a focus group to create a product whose novelty instils in it greater value than its utility, its constituent resources mined and the final product manufactured for a fraction of the retail price, and consider this series of transactions a morally neutral act

it turns out you fold it like a hot dog bun

it turns out alright in the end- I foretell this

it turns out that banananananana

it turns out that you needed to pay more attention in the Advanced Banana Peeling Theory class

it turns out, bananas are just really unappetizing to dogs!

It turns out. Then you eat it.

it turns out oh no, i've been peeing banana peels wrong somehow

It turns out you rub two of them together and start a fire.

It turns out you rub two of them together to call a cricket dame to open it for you.

It turns out you can use the back of a cricket bat

It turns out you have to PM schazer to unlock the banana. Usually the banana thread is locked, but since this is for experimental purposes and you're not planning on actually eating the damn thi- oh wait you are? You sick bastard.

it turns out you're supposed to follow the instructions here