LGBTQ Awareness/Help Threade

I think growing stuff generally involves soreness and boobs are no exception? I've seen stuff written by trans women that mentions boob soreness specifically though.

i'm not sure about soreness but they definitely smush on everything like clothes and seatbelts and your own arms

Haven't taken HRT personally, it wouldn't affect my ability to pass enough for it to be worth it for me (yet), but from what I've heard, soreness isn't that unusual? If it persists for a while you might need to be concerned. Also, the asymmetry thing isn't abnormal, the human body ain't naturally 100% symmetrical all the time. It just kinda grows. (Usually not how one would like it to... dam u muscles n bones...)

I'm unfortunate enough to be prematurely balding. It's due to a skin condition, (which I suspect is actually how I managed to latch on to my identity in the first place, since I'm always uncomfortable in my skin anyway), and honestly I'd prefer myself mostly-bald to my natural hair, but there's like 0 representation for trans women who are balding so it's kinda bleh.

So, uh, this happened. It doesn't reverse the bathroom part of the bill, unfortunately, but it does extend nondiscrimination policies to state employees based on gender orientation or sexuality, which state employees did not have prior to the bill.

So, horrible bill, the governor's executive order still leaves a lot of people worse off, but at least this happened? We went like 200 steps back and then took 1 step forward? I dunno.

I'm glad you posted that, I was just stewing about the discrimination protection this morning and I hadn't heard the reversal.

Like, don't get me wrong - most LGBTQ people in NC are still boned and this bill doesn't do anything to address private business being able to discriminate. But it protects state employees.

Oh yeah no, I get that, but anything's better than nothing in the face of the neverending shitshow marginalized folks face in this country

ha ha

Yo I think I'm trans but not really and this is fucking weird? Gonna spoiler this so no one has to read my chaotic thoughts:

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Spoiler I'm not...uncomfortable as a guy, really, though I am spending longer and longer periods of time thinking about it more. I'm not especially attracted to doing stereotypically girly things, my interests are all solidly neutral/stereotypically male. (Yes I know there's no actual connection between that and this stuff, but I know some trans people IRL and they've purposely sought out more feminine-associated things, consciously or unconsciously, than the guys I know). I don't have any desire to paint my nails or wear makeup, skirts, etc. I still think of myself as a guy, if prompted.

But, uh, not always? I'm 100% certain that I'd rather have been born female, for instance. I've looked at transformation fiction stuff since I was younger on and off, and while the more sexual things just creep me the fuck out, they do resonate with me and have since like, 7th grade. I don't know how to put it. I dream when I sleep (duh) and every so often I have one where I do transition and I'm happy in like 90% of them.

Since I'm not uncomfortable with myself to such a degree that I feel a need to change, I'll probably never actually transition (also because I'll never actually look like a cis woman), but, well, yeah. I'm not even certain I'd want to stay as a woman, in the magical world where we can switch sexes at a whim! I'd just...like the opportunity. It's really weird to go from someone who thought they were a straight male to a bi male to whatever I am right now.

Needed to vent and this was the only place I could think of to do so.

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SpoilerGX your post was weird for me in that it feels a lot like something I might have written about myself, almost even down to the wording. I'm also having a hard time deciding whether I actually want to be Not A Guy, and if so do I feel strongly enough about it to risk alienating parts of my family and probably losing most of my income for the foreseeable future? How much of my brain is devoted to the gender question and how much is just general undefined malaise?

So I guess I don't really have any advice or anything that won't just sound like an empty platitude. Stay strong... I guess?

Anyway when can we finally expect some sort of shape-shifting technology? I feel like we've been dragging our feet in that portion of the tech tree for too long now.

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SpoilerThis is the Whim is Cis disclaimer

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SpoilerIt's ok to be a girl if you want to be a girl!

Cauchemar had a great article the other day about gender euphoria (I'll see if I can find a link), but the gist of it was something I agree with 100%, you don't have to be defined by DYSphoria to be trans. You can go with an identity that makes you happy. Related, it's ok to have whatever mix of parts or hormones make you happy.

I realize this probably doesn't help any with the real world presentation concerns, but if nothing else, online among friends is a fairly safe place to test how you feel about identifying as a certain gender.

I feel like I should also post some genderfeels since I'm putting my 2 cents into the conversation but they're probably not very interesting

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Spoiler I'm a girl. Sometimes I feel more or less indifferent about that, sometimes that feels like something really important to me. And though I've often found myself annoyed with various bits of my body or sexism as it exists in the world, the basic idea that I=Girl has always been something that felt pretty darn correct. I've always enjoyed fiction with non-skeevy transformation, and think it would be fun to experience a different body, though I would be very upset if there were no way to revert to my original form.

Found that thinger

Boy, all you people are progressive. Might as well as share my gender identity, though it's nothing special. I was recently convinced that it's okay to feel super comfortable about my gender (cis male). I don't really have any desire to be female. So it's actually kind of hard to relate to trans people. But I still support you all in your respective journeys of self-discovery!

Oh and I'm gay. I like men. Actually I tend to prefer manly men. So I guess that makes me kind of limited in terms of sexuality, but I think that this should be fine too.

(the furry/scaly thing is a whole 'nother matter though but i would so be down for shape shifting technology and never have to be a human again)

Hello

I'm cis(?) and gay(?) and ace(?) and I'm one of those people who want to track the concept of gender to a dark lonely place and beat it up with a shovel.

All the labels above are unsatisfactory and i am constantly questioning them but they're the closest thing I have to something that describes me (except for the shovel part, that one is pretty clear)

The only thing that I can add to the current conversation is that I don't think you need to "officially" carry a label in order to explore what it could mean to you, especially when it comes to gender. Social expectations (and our trans-erasing culture) will always win over your personal curiosity if you do that. Better to try and find out than to never know.

Heya, I definitely agree with the above, at least, the label part. hehe
I'm (insert something gender here. fluid? who knows) and ace, gray/panromantic. I also question everything a lot too,,,,,,,
It's definitely okay to not have labels, and it's okay to try things out and be wrong later! Of course, society will be an ass and make sure you're sure before they even acknowledge your existence, but screw that. Everyone here questioning your gender or otherwise, you go, and be you!

Heya, may as well post my stuff too. I REALLY wish I'd learned about genders other than male and female when I was a kid because it would have saved me a shit-ton of trouble.

I'm genderfluid, but not like... male one day, female the other... more like masculine and feminine but borderline non-binary? Like, I'll feel feminine, but I'm not a girl, however if I feel masculine, being thought of as a guy is fine, but I have days where I'm neither too... maybe I'm non binary with some exceptions? I dunno, man, I thought genderfluid explained it but now I'm just not sure. I do know I prefer they/them, though, that's a-given. But hooo boy looking back on my childhood does this ever make sense now.

As for romance and shit, I guess... panromantic and ace? or pan and demi? Something like that. (maybe poly too?? i'm all over the place, really)

Er. Sorry for the ramble. Long story short, gender and sexuality/romantic-orientations are waaaay more complicated than they make it seem in school.

Hi, thought I'd jump in here as well.

When I was younger I never really identified strongly with my assigned gender, but it wasn't until a few years ago that I realized that that might mean anything. I'm still trying to figure out exactly what I am right now, but the two biggest contenders are Genderfluid or Demigirl I guess? They/Them pronouns though. As far as sexuality goes I guess I'm Bi? The only reason I don't say Pan is I tend to not usually be attracted to cis men (not as a rule though).

So trans healthcare in NZ has just taken a dive because our only surgeon able to provide gender reassignment surgery has retired in his mid 70s. This bumps the waitlist for the procedure up to 30 years. :l

Understand I'm not trying to sound glib, but that is an issue I've never even considered. Good lord. I'm sorry to hear that.

It's not just Walker. Lots of specialist surgeons who do The Surgery worldwide are now reaching the ends of their careers, with little to no replacement options. Not to mention there really wasn't much motivation for these surgeons to train others and hence reduce their own demand/profit margins, and now we're seeing the result.

cough suporn cough

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Hello I am a cute lady who is ace and biromantic
I have an adorable gf and a crush on a super cool lady, dudes are aight too

As an introductory thing I guess

hi

I mostly try to be cute when I am new and shy, I'm not actually cute, it's a temporary thing

Welcome to the bi ace crew, enjoy your stay

Welcome to one of like three places left on the internet where you can say that and not immediately get a cool batch of hot Discourse

Welcome to one of like three places left on the internet where you can say that and not immediately get a cool batch of hot Discourse

Hahaha! I'm glad, because that would be silly. Discourse is futile. Especially when it's paradoxially cool and hot at the same time, that's witchcraft.

Hiya plaid, this is good, I like crews because I'm vaguely nautically themed

Welcome to one of like three places left on the internet where you can say that and not immediately get a cool batch of hot Discourse

wait wait wait what are the other 2 places. Are they cool like here too.

...are they (or were they) mspaf and chocpi?

you didn't get any discourse on chocpi because nobody ever went there.