WANT TO BE A GOD-EMPEROR OF HAWKSPACE? APPLY WITHIN

As desired by an obvious majority of users on Hawkspace, I declare myself God-Emperor of Hawkspace. However, my ability to rule-through-shitpost is limited without the support of equally talented God-Emperors; because of this, I am taking applications for the role of Co-God-Emperor of Hawkspace.

Potential God-Emperors must have shitposting expertise, attitude, and a deep appreciation of birds. Connections to the Secret Council are a plus.

I'm on the Super-Secret Council manipulating the Secret Council without their knowledge, does that count as a connection?

i believe i am an ideal candidate. you can trust me because you and i are identical people

Are we talking about the Council of Latter-Day Secrets Secret Council, or the Super Special Super Secret Secret Council?

My bird appreciation runs as deep as a penguin's dive and as expansively as an albatross' wingspan. I am the co-god-emperor you seek.

I'm on the Super-Secret Council manipulating the Secret Council without their knowledge, does that count as a connection?

There is no Super-Secret Council manipulating the Secret Council without their knowledge.

Look behind the marked brick above the Northwest cornerstone of the Secret Courthouse- there should be a mirror behind it. My real answer is not not engraved on the back of this mirror; the mirror is just there to show you how silly you look making absurd claims like that.

I motion that I am Chief Shadow Cabinet Emperor of Gratuitous Birdpuns.

Likely supporting my move to acquire this vaunted cabinet position are God Emperors Chwoka and Paranoia.

Are we talking about the Council of Latter-Day Secrets Secret Council, or the Super Special Super Secret Secret Council?

My bird appreciation runs as deep as a penguin's dive and as expansively as an albatross' wingspan. I am the co-god-emperor you seek.

We definitely aren't talking about the Super-Secret Council.

Your bird appreciation is remarkable, but how's your shitposts?

i have little-to-no bird appreciation, so i feel letting schazer in under my wing so-to-speak as Bird Expert Extraordinaire would balance things out. approved on my end

Unlike some braggadocious Emperor-Aspirants, I am happy to admit I am neither the most seasoned nor the most innovative in the field of shitposting. I would assume the Cabal of God Emperors would be led by the deusphere's finest shitposter (Loather, though Reyweld would make a fine Shadow* Emperor), to assemble a series of Cabinet positions best suited to the finer nuances of advancing the God Emperor agenda.

So yeah like Chwoka said I'll be taken under tu-whit tu-whootelage so I may learn from the Old Shitposting God Masters in my eventual but inevitable betrayal wherein I seize power for myself. But don't worry, that's not for at least another decade!


*(In the British Parliamentarian sense!)

Unlike some braggadocious Emperor-Aspirants, I am happy to admit I am neither the most seasoned nor the most innovative in the field of shitposting. I would assume the Cabal of God Emperors would be led by the deusphere's finest shitposter (Loather, though Reyweld would make a fine Shadow* Emperor), to assemble a series of Cabinet positions best suited to the finer nuances of advancing the God Emperor agenda.

So yeah like Chwoka said I'll be taken under tu-whit tu-whootelage so I may learn from the Old Shitposting God Masters in my eventual but inevitable betrayal wherein I seize power for myself. But don't worry, that's not for at least another decade!


*(In the British Parliamentarian sense!)

Okay! Chwoka and Schazer are jointly hired as Joint Lieutenant God-Emperor of Eagletime, First Class.

New Organizational Rule: Joint precedes titles that are jointly shared by multiple individuals. Lieutenant God-Emperors are less a prestigious but otherwise functionally equal rank to God-Emperor, interchangeable with the title of Co-God-Emperor. When someone receives a title that has not been received before, the title is to be followed with "First Class". When someone receives a title that has been received before, the title is to be followed with "Second Class". If someone seizes a title by force, the title is to be followed with "Third Class and Strongest Jerk Around".

Instead of Lieutenant as an organisational title, I propose Curlewternantbird.

Instead of Lieutenant as an organisational title, I propose Curlewternantbird.

Chwoka and Schazer are retitled to Joint Curlewternantbird God-Emperor of Eagletime, First Class.

New Organizational Rule: Curlewternantbird God-Emperors are identical to Lieutenant God-Emperors and Co-God-Emperors, but can not be used interchangeably with those titles.

If Chwoka jointly agrees with Schazer to replace the title of Lieutenant with Curlewternantbird, it will be done.

Ok, so two God Emperors bearing a joint title have to unanimously agree on a thing before it counts? That is fine.

I would rather not have Curlewternantbird and Lieutenant being separate but equivalent titles, because I'm prideful and will be the Firstest of Classes.

Also what portfolios are you proposing to diversify to your Co-God-Emperors to best manage this fine empire?

i am in my unamity with schazer on abolishing this horrific separate-but-equal scheme

New Organizational Rule: Curlewternantbird God-Emperors are in charge of proposing portfolios to diversify to my Co-God-Emperors to best manage this fine empire.

New Organizational Rule: Curlewternantbird God-Emperors are in charge of proposing portfolios to diversify to my Co-God-Emperors to best manage this fine empire.

This makes them not identical to Lieutenant God-Emperors and Co-God-Emperors.

i think she should buy an empire of cocaine. you, schazer?

Agreed on cocaine. I think a Farm Equipment portfolio could pay dividends. How are you feeling on dipping into Ethical Bones?

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Congrats! You're now Theoretical Co-God-Emperor, First Class.

New Organizational Rule: Theoretical Co-God-Emperors have authority over everyone else, but nobody has to actually listen to them.

DECLARATION I

All enemies of the state will be referred to with the acronym B.I.G.R.O (Bad Idiot Gamer, Rancid Odored).

DECLARATION I (AND A BIT)

The individual known as Chwoka, Joint Curlewternantbird God-Emperor of Eagle Time, First Class, must be referred to in all official documentation as Acronymous ☆fricker ☆C.H.W.O.K.A☆ (all applicable subsequent titles).

Acronymous ☆fricker ☆C.H.W.O.K.A☆, Joint Curlewternantbird God-Emperor of Eagle Time, First Class, may still be referred to by any range of demeaning nicknames in friendly God-Emperor company.


Also I'd like to levy a First Committee Of The Acronymous to determine what, exactly, the symbols and letters in ☆C.H.W.O.K.A☆ stand for, and for said committee to spearhead acronymous clarifications in future. I am willing to sit on this committee if God-Emperor of Hawkspace Loather permits.

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DECLARATION I (AND A BIT)

The individual known as Chwoka, Joint Curlewternantbird God-Emperor of Eagle Time, First Class, must be referred to in all official documentation as Acronymous ☆fricker ☆C.H.W.O.K.A☆ (all applicable subsequent titles).

Acronymous ☆fricker ☆C.H.W.O.K.A☆, Joint Curlewternantbird God-Emperor of Eagle Time, First Class, may still be referred to by any range of demeaning nicknames in friendly God-Emperor company.


Also I'd like to levy a First Committee Of The Acronymous to determine what, exactly, the symbols and letters in ☆C.H.W.O.K.A☆ stand for, and for said committee to spearhead acronymous clarifications in future. I am willing to sit on this committee if God-Emperor of Hawkspace Loather permits.

I'm in favor of this, and you are permitted to sit on the First Committee Of The Acronymous.