The thread for flipping shits (and tables)

I don't have IRL friends so I can't relate.

How do you make friends? It took me a year before I finally knew who liked me and who didn't...... I know I acted retarded as well, but I was kinda surprised so few people like me! (tbh I only have 2 real friends)

Yo if you're keen on making friends (around here at any rate) you proooobably shouldn't use the word retarded

There are plenty of other words/phrases (acting like a dick, acting like a jerk, making a fool/ass of yourself, being immature, clowning, being silly, acting like a doofus, goofing around/goofing off) you can use without tossing intellectually handicapped people under the bus.

Agreed! There are so many wonderful words to describe stupidity.

On the topic of friends: I was lucky to stick with my middle school friends for the longest time, we got together every weekend to play games and shoot the shit almost religiously, but we've been really distant this past year; they have stuff to do, lost interest, etc.

So now i'm starting to realize i really don't have that many friends and being lonely isn't fun at all, i was so comfortable with them that i can't bring myself to try to socialize and make new friends, it wouldn't be the same, they're all boring, etc. I have a lot more stuff going on for me right now so i'm not too worried about it, but it's kind of a new experience for me as an adult.

Oh, it seems I was acting like a dick, jerk, making a fool of myself, being immature and silly, and acting like a doofus. I'll make sure I won't be clowing or goofing around anytime soon.

On another note, reading your post about middle school friends made me sad. The bullies in my elementary school made sure I didn't have a normal social life then, and it carried over to middle school..... *sobs*

had to scream for about an hour today just to get my parents to make some sort of divider to prevent my stupid family from constantly intruding on my privacy (my workspace is in the downstairs living room which has no door, thus apparently affording entrance to anyone wishing to test my wrath.)

they just go on in, peek on my computer screen and go into hysterics when I minimize my window to maintain my fucking privacy

Comp. just got into a crashferno. Recovered everything but will probably not be able to Skype, game, do most things requiring the internet.

i don't have to think very hard about my current and ideal future lifestyle to call my purpose for existing into question

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i can't imagine myself going through the whole "get a job and work your way up to a well-paying career in something you don't care about so you can do your art as a hobby" thing, i have always always imagined myself as trying to survive off of my art, and with stuff like patreon now that's a much more reasonable idea

the problem is i can't make myself even work on stuff that i want to work on

i want to do comics but i have no ideas that i would want to commit to

i want to make games but i can't program and i'm not patient enough to teach myself how to program and I cannot ask gamedev friends for help because they'll just get exasperated and tell me to look up tutorials and I'm pretty sure they get the impression that I just want a programmer to make my games for me

(the idea of getting a programmer friend to help me with my game ideas is absurd by this point btw; ~5 years of hanging out with gamedev friends has taught me that that's selfish and they're all working on their own projects anyway)(i am not entitled enough to challenge this viewpoint)

i often question myself in the back of my mind why i even try to develop game ideas because i know i can't do anything about them

and it's somehow really paradoxically discouraging to see other people be successful with patreon. they wanted to be able to easily survive while working on fun things they care about, and other people are interested enough to see them through on that, and now they're achieving their goals! it seems so easy! all they had to do was continue doing their hobby and show it off a lot and then ask for money to continue doing it!

WHY CAN'T I DO THAT

all i have to do is work hard on stuff i care about, i should already be doing that literally all the time so why is it so hard to even start
i donnt understand at all

and if i'm going to try to live my life supporting myself by doing what i love, but i can't even make myself do what i love, then, what am i even doing??? what is the point of existing if i'm so determined not to spend my life slaving away for a corporation but i can't even do things for myself.

this isn't even taking into account the other stuff i was worried about before, that being me being worried about getting a real job soon so i have an excuse to not continue going through college classes
dad keeps asking every so often when i'm gonna sign up for more btw
it's scary

edit: to be honest you might as well not even reply to this, nobody has ever been able to help or give useful advice or make me feel better about this yet

teehee, i WISH gen lived near enough to me for us to go on a camping trip

but to be realistic i kinda feel like "taking a break" is the last thing i should do. i'm already doing literally nothing. i am not currently in school nor do i have a job and i stay at home all day trying to make myself draw/learn how to game make
which are activities that i like enough that i shouldn't have to TRY to do them

i'm kind of afraid of the "needing free time to actually be free from something time" thing being the case though. just because it seemed to be the case when I was going through college courses. i may have already said but the reason I even made World of Friends was because I was having an unreasonable amount of trouble with my online math course and i literally said "I can be doing something better with my time right now" and popped open rpgmaker at like midnight
so what i mean is, i don't want to like. end up going through more college just to motivate myself to do things that i specifically want to do so that i don't have to go through college
i know you said the job thing though

ghghgh

I'm in virtually the same position? My depression is so bad that i'm not able to even get a job right now, and if i did get one i suspect i'd be too much of a mess to keep it. Freelance work is really the only way i can make things work and the only thing i'm qualified for is art! (Specifically graphic design, but i'm lookin' for illustration work).

I've wanted to make comics forever and about a year or so back? I decided no fuck it i'm really going to sit down and do this thing. I educated myself on the local comic scene, joined a group (we meet every month or so to draw and eat terrible food) and have been published a few times. Its pretty small time stuff being that i'm from New Zealand, but its a start. Pretty much everyone in the scene here knows of me now and that's pretty amazing and cool, i think?

Because of my depression and probable attention disorder i have real trouble committing to things. Since i was a kid i've barely ever finished anything i've started and it feeds right back into my mental health stuff to make them worse. I've found a few things that have helped, lately: Firstly, you've gotta ignore that grand idea you've been sitting on forever and waiting till you're good enough and make something you don't really care about as practice. I branched off into doing the project i'm working on now by taking the lowest quality art supplies i could manage (literal trash $2 paints watered down into oblivion) and am not bothering erasing scratchy pencil lines under the inks and after a bit of anxiousness it helped me to let go? Making content is far more important than it being polished, i think.

Secondly, making small things. I love making huge long stories that go on forever and i think that's pretty common, but its really nice to make short comics? my published things have been in anthologies so they've had to be short, and after i finish the current 5 pager i'm working on (going into the latest anthology by the aforementioned group) i'm going to try to build up a buffer of small stories for portfolio/other anthology submissions/etc. It's a lot easier to keep your attention for short things, because the payoff is that much sooner.

Anyway do not be afraid to take a break. You're clearly stressing over this and please don't feel guilty for not getting anything done- you deserve to be happy and you are worthwhile even if you don't manage to get everything that you want to do done. Take care of your mental health.

this was really rambly i'm sorry

Unlike you or Plaid or others, I don't have a passion to make a living in creative/artistic endeavours, but I've at least got some advice in terms of a "day job" or other employment:

Us millennials will change jobs and fields and whatever, a lot. In the last five-ish years I've done a summer's waitstaffing, university field work, a summer in IT where I mostly did data entry, and several months' part-time checkout at a supermarket in addition to my current exchange/teaching dealie. I'm eyeing up a six-month science writing internship and (if I go back to university) will probably hop back into the service industry if I can juggle it with my studies.

The prospect of chugging through the career rungs of a "day job" until you have enough spare time/energy to pursue creative endeavours is unrealistic, because it's not our reality anymore (unless you're rich/otherwise privileged and have these things lined up for you).

If you do find immediate employment (or trade school that leads directly into it) to deal with your home financial system, it doesn't have to be a permanent thing. You can and almost certainly will shift between jobs, and have varying levels of energy at the end of the day to pursue creative endeavours (which you admit might only keep flowing if they're a reprieve from other life-drudgery).

I understand there's more immediate stuff to address, like potential brainthings or your dad's stubbornness. But (if you're up for it) a day job right now doesn't mean you'll never achieve your goal of living off your creative works.

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i feel like im slowly losing myself to something and i dont know what it is and if i should give myself up to it and i dont know how or if ffxiv is factoring into it in any direction

this computer flipping sucks and my brother is a quack computer consultant

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So the family vacation plans are officially cancelled now, and now instead of going to the beach, my mom gets to spend her 50th birthday in Steubenville for her dad's funeral instead.

His death is already super shitty on its own, but the timing of it all just makes it seem like the universe is trying to play a cruel prank on us. Fuck today.

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nothing continues to be good~~~

I am so angry right now, my sister in law is fucking terrible. My brother and her had a fight and now he's living in my parents house again. I swear to god if they don't get back together soon (which they will, her family is very religious) im gonna flip my motherfucking shit so hard its gonna turn into a fucking tornado, i don't want to share the house with him again.

I'm sick as shit with a stomach bug and can't even hold down broth, let alone solid food. Hopefully it'll pass soon but right now I'm just completely miserable.

Currently on the third day of this trip so far that i've been so depressed that i haven't showered or really eaten. Or left the attic.

Really loving this whole mental illness thing

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GKJSAVHG JNDFASGHVBNGKHSDHBCJGNKGSAV VBGVNBVASD CFAGJBFSDJNDHA VDGV JDNAHDS i hate my school and its malfunctioning website

I managed to rip off a grand total of 4 nails on the way home, mostly from lifting my suitcase? I'm half expected another one to go by the time we get our baggage in christchurch

Its not fun having rippy nails somewhere where you can't take nail clippers

Got my art in a gallery, not sure if i can afford to transport myself and art to gallery. WELLLLP

Oof, Plaid. Got any convenient friends with pickup trucks?

The only friend i have with a car also has uni finishing in a few weeks and thus is otherwise occupied :c

Update: Someone involved with Pride saw my post and has found me a couch, and i have raised enough funds for the bus on my own :') God bless emergency commissions

Hello. testing

testing...

Yes, hello, this is a public service announcement. I've been notified by the local authorities that I, the government, do not make a lot of sense, but I must remind the public that we are living in dangerous times and that nothing in my life makes sense and that is the way of things. However, I, the government, do taking public initiatives seriously when the situation demands it.

This situation, obviously, is not very demanding. Thank you, thank you.

*leaves the stage*

*returns to the stage*

*breaks microphone in half, eats microphone, to the alarm of the attending constituents who are forced to listen to the feedback from the speakers*

*leaves the stage*