The thread for flipping shits (and tables)

Gruh.

I swallowed one of my skin medication pills last night at my mum's insistence, even though I was somewhat-optimistically not planning to start taking them until at least a few months down the track (as you're not supposed to be exposed to too much sunlight while taking them, and exercise outdoors is the better course of action for it anyway - according to my doctor).

I've now been feeling like my sternum is made of plate metal and I swallowed one of those little magnets the size of a watch battery. I don't give a shit if anatomy doesn't work that way, my chest periodically pangs and to make things worse it's gone sunny after the shittiest goddamn weather this morning.

D:

Well, here's to hoping it clears up soon!

Don't read this. It's navel gazing bullshit. I'm only posting it because I want to feel like somebody will read it. Serious. Whatever kind of relationship we may have, there's zero obligation here. I'd spoiler it if I could.

So I feel like I've got no-one to talk to about my problems anymore. Not even you guys, because where the hell have I been for two months, right? I'm sure you've all got better things to do than listen to me complain about my life. Again. But I need to tell someone, or at least feel like I'm telling someone, so please excuse my selfishness. Y'all can just ignore this if it suits.

My housemate decided he wanted to move out of the house we were sharing about 3 weeks ago because renting, to him, was "dead money". This is only 3 months after he decided to move in with me. So he's moving back in with his Dad leaving me with a big fuck-off rent bill to pay by myself. I was pissed with him. I still am. But I tried to let it go because Hobart's a small place and everyone knows everyone and shouldn't I be the sort of person that can forgive others anyway? That was my logic there. So I was just at that point where I was happy to stay friends with him regardless of him being a terrible housemate that owed me money and never washed his dishes and let strangers have sex in the house when neither of us were around. I was willing to chalk it up to moving in with him being a mistake, "you live, you learn" and that our relationship didn't work as roomates, being that I cared about things he didn't.

Then tonight I discovered that he'd posted a image of a 1950's style drawing of a sad man staring at his feet with the caption "Maybe I have no friends because I hate everyone." onto my Facebook wall. I asked him about it and he thought it was funny. He said sorry when I told him I was upset, but it was one of those dismissive apologies that say "OK, can we stop talking about this now. It's not really a big deal". The fact of the matter is he doesn't believe that it was that big of a deal or that it could have hurt me. And it did! The last thing I want to be thinking about is my fear that I'll remain alone with no physical friends to speak of. My fear that outside of the internet I might have no capacity to retain a solid relationship. He knows this goddammit!

I'm a fool. I rarely put myself out on a limb for anyone. Almost never. Ever time I do the bloody branch breaks. Now it's snapped again and here I am, dirty, in a pile of leaves, nursing a broken leg and I'm retreating back to the safety of solitary living for fear of further pain. I know I'm condescending occasionally, but I can't help but feel at times like this I'm given plenty of ammunition to continue to distrust those around me.

Fin. Now I'd recommend 3 shots of any given liquor as a chaser to whatever the hell this was you just read.

Niall , you don't deserve this kind of shit! You are a great person! Your roommate is a butts >:/
I am really sorry to hear about the rent and the facebook crud...
ugh

If you ever need to talk about anything, I'll always be there! I might not do the best job because I'm kind of... :I but I'll try my hardest!!!
Because you really and truly don't deserve that kind of shit...

Aw, Niall :(

That guy's an ass. If it were me I would frankly just chase him onto his facebook wall and ask him to pay me back the money I was nice enough to let slide when he dumped the rent bills on me, since I don't see any reason to be that nice to people who don't even bother to respect my insecurities in return. If he refused to pony up I'd see if I could get his dad on my side; he might not like finding out his son's a jerk and a freeloader. :V

Then again, that's just me. I'm like that.

This morning I was sufficiently tired that I woke up to my first alarm, tried to turn off a clock I haven't used as an alarm in months, got annoyed when I couldn't turn it off, realized what I was doing, turned off the correct alarm, went back to sleep, and did the exact same thing ten minutes later when my next alarm went off.

I wasn't even up later than usual last night or anything.

Just got paid today! I had been scraping by with $6 in my bank account for the last week and building up bits of credit card debt here and there.

After car insurance, paying off card debts, and purchasing some belated gifts, I now have $6 in my bank account.

This happens about every two weeks forever.

Show Content

Spoilerokay so maybe I actually used 100 of those needed dollars to BUY A TENT. I feel like the topic of an ONION article: "ex-student living at parents home considers buying a tent a good investment."

EDIT: Continued:
24-yo Robby Pennington purchased a $100 Coleman tent today in what was declared "a sound investment" by the financially unstable individual.
Robby, an ex-college student with over $50,000 in debt and few profitable employment prospects, called the 5-person tent a "great deal" and stated that he was "excited at all the money he'd save."

"I mean, say if I go on a trip," the penniless Robby replied, "It costs like, what? $50 bucks to stay in a hotel? but with this tent I can camp for maybe...$10 bucks a night? It will practically pay for itself!"

Robby, who last slept in a tent over a decade ago and knows absolutely nothing about camping or the outdoors, packed the tent snugly into the trunk of the car he still owes $13,000 on, a car which, with the rising cost of gas, exerts a yearly $10,000 drain on the fiscal moron.

"I suppose it will really come in handy if my parents kick me out!" Robby laughed nervously before shaking his head and entering the vehicle that takes him to his $10/hr job 5 days out of the week.

At press time, Robby was distracting himself from all of his personal fears though the use of the Sirius radio trial he had just installed, and was considering an extension of the $15/month service a "respectable use of funds".

grab one of the ants and rip it in two with your bare hands as an example to its peers

That's not good they're carpenter ants they'll just put him back together

And then star in a new show on the history channel about the drama-filled business of housebuilding

I fed two of the alates that breached my cinnamon defenses to my fish.

I feel like I am a Bond villain.

"So, Gatherer 007. We meet again. I see my cinnamon and borax did not deter you, but this only means a FAR MORE GRISLY FATE IS IN STORE.

"But first, enjoy this sugar cube. If you're well-fed, then my good friend Othello will be as well!"

D:

I hope your kitty gets better, supes!

So i don't want to tell my parents i feel real sick 'cause apparently i get sick because i'm a terrible person and they get really mad so whatever i don't mind the pain if it means not going through that, but i kinda couldn't hide my migraine to my mom today and she flipped out.

Fuck.

Gruuugh I am having one of my quiet panic attacks, when I know I'm slipping into bad habits just because the prospect of a "almost-apparently-insurmountable pile of shit I gotta get done and soon" period is looming, or rather has loomed for a couple weeks.

I'll be keeping off the usual channels for a couple days until I'm back on track.

We'll miss you, but we understand. Good luck!

*Solemnly flips a table*

For homies ain't here brah

Homies in this case = Schazer

Ugh, that feeling

At least I am paying attention to it better now and actually getting shit done usually

Good luck with your pile 'o crap, Schaz :<

I'm realizing that I have five and a half weeks until school is over for this semester, and I'm home for summer. Following this is remembering how last summer went, followed by the quiet panic attack of knowing that this summer is going to proceed exactly the same. All of my previous visits home have gone sour after a week, how the hell am I supposed to deal with two and a half months at home.

Just so pissed off over stupid things.

Would be nice if once I was pissed off over something that actually meant something. I would feel less ridiculous throwing a strop about it.

The one day i have to sleep early and i just can't fall asleep.

Why now? I've been doing it the whole week.

/me does not understand code

...until I've bashed my head in over it for three hours and suddenly realize, noooo double-equals, not just one equal sign! Of course! How could I have been so dimwitted and foolish!

/me fixes code

/me causes fifteen new bugs to appear

Apparently this is software engineering, and I aaam starting to doubt my proficiency at it.

(and this is just Python too grrrrr)

I spent 30 minutes yesterday looking for a bug that turned out to be that I had forgotten to take one away from a variable before feeding it into my array and causing it to go out of bounds

Then another 30 minutes looking for another bug that turned out to be exactly the same thing, for a different array

I know your pain

I hate people who have it worse than me. One day, just one day, I want to feel the worst so when I am upset other people can just say "okay" instead of trying to patch me up with not-really-well-wishes like "there are people worse off than you" until I am less upset or not upset anymore.

That kind of person really pisses me off too. Someone else having it worse doesn't mean that your problem magically disappears.


In other news the new tutor in class seems to think that my entire class are first years who haven't designed before, as opposed to approaching the end of second year and have done similar projects before. She tried explaining what time management is before, while telling us that we would be pushing it to get it all done in class during an hour long monologue on how to start designing a thing.

I am not going to survive this class.

I hate people who have it worse than me. One day, just one day, I want to feel the worst so when I am upset other people can just say "okay" instead of trying to patch me up with not-really-well-wishes like "there are people worse off than you" until I am less upset or not upset anymore.

Whenever anyone tries this bullshit on me I pull out Maslow's Hierarchy. Yes, some people have it worse than me. Yes, I'm very grateful for that. But that doesn't make my problems any less valid, it just makes them less immediately dangerous.

It sometimes makes the person shut up, but more often it just gives me a smug sense of superiority so I can feel a little better and ignore them

SNOW

GAH

I had an appointment this morning, so of course after a perfectly nice day yesterday, the weather decides today is the best time for lots and lots of snow to slog through as I walk there. My coat got soaked and a lot of trees tried to get in snowball fights with me, and on top of it all, my coat was too warm.

I am home now and on the verge of collapse.

I hate snow.