The thread for flipping shits (and tables)

The effort it takes to get my mother to drive me places is astounding. You would think I was asking her to fight a dragon for me.

I'm not even allowed to hang out with my friends unless one of them gives me a ride.

All I want to do is stop by the art supply shop, buy a sketch book (WITH MY OWN MONEY THAT I HAVE EARNED FROM THIS SUMMER JOB), and all she has to do is DRIVE ME THERE. I would do it myself if I had a license!

She's not even busy, she's been watching Asian dramas all summer.

I JUST.

YOU'RE MY MOTHER, AND I KNOW I SHOULD RESPECT YOU

BUT

AUGH.

Ffffffffff

Why am I so goddamn socially retarded

I'm getting really tired of how everyone is treating my fat like it's some terrible defect. And everyone telling me how I should do everything.

It's my fucking body, let me do it on my own time, my own terms.

Fuck off.

Uuuuuuugh that is bullshit, Teps.

Additional bullshit: Utterly sick of my sisters for about a dozen reasons.

Pissed off as heck because I apply for a bunch of jobs then have to sit with my thumb up my butt until employers contact me back. Can't move out on a clear conscience until I've got steady income.

Even better, I've got a place that I can afford everything except the food for, but that's off accommodation supplement/loan money which I'm currently funnelling back into paying off my loan. (That sounds stupid but trust me in New Zealand it sort of works. The price is having to live at home and put up with aforementioned sisters). Hence not really being able to move out until I have a job.

Also lost my phone and kind of cheesed off slash stressed about that. Managed to get my shit together though on that front; christ these things are cheap to pick up nowadays.

family members staying over have maybe gone past the point where it is nice to have around to the point where this is annoying and oh my god when does it end

Rrgh I'm grappling with some serious cognitive dissonance and utterly failing.

So my Mother just diagnosed me with depression. That's a thing that happened.

Disclaimer: No I am not depressed. Just because I use the computer a whole bunch and don't go out that often doesn't mean my entire world is self destructing.

But evidently she can't even comprehend that.

Christ I need to move out of this house.

I am very sad for reasons auuugh :(

Also anxious about school stuff, meh.

whinged a bit in irc about this but im still p'd off! some random drunk dude on the street punched me in the face and ran away smh.

g0m I fear you are now a were-drunk. More specifically a were-drunk-face-puncher. At the moment of contact the inebriated afflicted individual transfers the curse of the "be a jackass and punch a dude in the face" to his victim.

The victim then undergoes a slow spiral of rage and contempt, first for his assailant, then for humanity as a whole. The rage and frustrations build up until, on some night with plentiful booze, you then punch a stranger in the face. You are cured and the cycle begins anew.

After week after week of an IRC RPG I run being cancelled either because either:

1) some shit I didn't know about came up
OR
2) Half the players didn't show up

I just got sick of it and cancelled it because really what's even the point. So now I feel really bad about that because when the games were happening they were fun! It's just that they were getting to be rare and a hassle at the same time and honestly I kind of want to move on to a new system and setting and stuff anyway but the system I want to use still isn't out yet (I playtested at PAX) and just ugh.

UGGGGGGGGGH.

To those I have not seen in a while, hi. To those I have seen during what I innocently term "a while", hi too.

I am sat here with a piece of paper beside me that tells me I now have four A-Levels to my name - two A*, two A. I don't think I need to translate for those outside of Blighty that this is a fucking fantastic outcome, but in case I do, AAB is the point at which universities here start tempting you with £2,000 scholarships. As in, you only took your fourth subject to the halfway AS point, as is traditional, then got A's in the subjects most relevant to your university course and then a B in something that may well have been tangentally related. In my case, I didn't drop German and I got an A in it. It might as well have been an A*, in fact, because I was unexpectedly close to achieving such.

The other A was in Further Maths. Therefore, by Oxford's obstinately immutable criteria, I have failed to reach the terms of my offer. We specifically asked for the A* in Further Maths, not normal Maths, nor in Physics for that matter. Thank you for your application, good luck in your future academic career, no you can't appeal but we respect your determination, none of the three other colleges you managed to get interviews at will be interested in you without that A* even though your unusually high demand during the interview period reflects ridiculously well by the reckoning of everyone in the know, no I don't particularly care that you're spurting out your module scores to show you've nailed every single exam bar the summer set and so would squeeze in had you not bombed a single paper that you still managed to get the equivalent of a B in regardless because without that A* you have not got that place now fuck off.

Oh, of course you can pay the savagely extortionate remark fees. Your marks may go down as well as up, but because of the way the scores are spread, there's only the slimmest of chances that you'll make up the loss, even if you re-jig the certification order to put your best scores in the A2 slots like your exam board was supposed to do in the first place. Bear in mind, however, that that one paper you got a cracking score in was AS only and so cannot count toward an A*, which is of course 90% average over your A2 modules. Yes, we understand you didn't particularly want to take that module in the first place and would have much rather picked an A2 module that you know you would have done even better in; pity you weren't able to, now fuck off.

What's that? Oh, you've had a chinwag with your teacher and given your track record, you can only conclude that the pressure resultant from being the only student of your sixth form's Oxbridge candidates who needed an A* as part of their offer, especially because it has been shown to be the hardest A* to get out of all the A-Levels, may well have cracked you during that one cruelly timetabled exam? How nice, but you don't have that A*. Did you know that it's the first year we've ever asked for A* grades as part of our offers? Oh, you did? Anyway, you've more than surpassed your insurance offer, and getting into Durham is something to be proud of in itself (though don't let the remarks take too long, otherwise they might get impatient and turn you away). With your grades, you could even go back into the process and try and snag something else if you're not content with it. Except for the place here that you wanted, that is. By the way, despite you having suggested that you'd be more than happy to resit everything you got under 90% in (that wouldn't take you long, obviously), we wouldn't be prepared to hold your place open for you for the year you'd need to do so, what with the particular travesty of a B having been achieved in a paper you can only sit in the summer. You'd have to reapply. Despite our official statement on the matter saying that a second application will not be treated any differently to the first, my tone of voice reserves the right to judge you, plus you'll still have to explain why you didn't do well enough the first time around. Now fuck off.

...well, the lady on the other end of the phone never explicitly told me to fuck off, though I like to imagine her hands were saying otherwise as I so selfishly clung on to the line. By the standards of any sane and reasonable person, I should be tickled pink with the quality of my results and snap up the place on the Durham course forthwith, chalking it down to Oxford's loss like all the others who settle into there under similar circumstances. Heck, it's a wonderful place and I know I'll be happy there. I just fear I won't be content with the knowledge that I should be somewhere else. But if it's practically the same course, how can I turn it down? (oh yeah, it'll cost me considerably more and the distance is a bugger and oh gog the money those are things)

The alternative is remaining here for another year trying my hardest not to languish and rot, holding out hope that I can snag a place next year. Admittedly there are a handful of fairly substantial reasons why this is potentially a rather attractive proposition and in the grander scheme of things a year is a wait worth holding on for as long as it is not wasted. I simply squander my own freedom, force myself to remain attached to this wearisome grockle-haven for slightly longer than I'd like and postpone moving on with my life due to an overall lack of change liable to bore me out of my mind if I don't play it right. Hmph.

Thank goodness I have a fortnight to decide. That is a boon for which I am so inexpressibly grateful. Now if you'll excuse me, I am supposed to be out celebrating shortly; now I know roughly what my life is going to attempt to do with me, I think I can probably afford to start living the damned thing again. It'll be more fun, for starters.

After picking through all the British lingo I have to say that sucks. Is going to Durham for now while applying for a transfer to Oxford next semester a viable option?

Am housesitting for my uncle and aunt (though their flatmate is still here). Said flatmate is currently at work. A private investigator just turned up at the house with a notice for flatmate, telling me to give it to her urgently because the house is under investigation for repossession.

THIS ISN'T WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR

So I'm becoming increasingly convinced that my stepmother has legitimate, undiagnosed Issues. Namely, I'm pretty sure she has either an anxiety disorder or an anxiety-related personality disorder (such as OCPD). And yeah, I know the whole "don't diagnose those close to you" thing, but I'm legitimately worried.

She cannot deal with stress at all. She tries to talk things out with herself when she gets upset, but she clearly gets upset an unhealthy amount of the time (most of it from her work) so just about every night she'll be half-mumbling half-shouting about something or other. Normally it's just a mild irritation, but yesterday she was doing it at the computer, to the point where it was distracting her from her nominally stress-relieving game of Bejeweled.

Seeing that this clearly wasn't helping, I suggested she go to bed because this obviously wasn't helping her get any less stressed. She promptly lashed out at me to the point where I felt on the verge of tears. I ended up going into the bedroom to talk to my dad, which, for the record, is not a normal thing. If anything, I'm normally talking to her about what I perceive as his dumb bullshit. Hell, at least then it's an actual disagreement.

I think the upcoming move has made things even worse than usual but honestly this just seems like a continuation of a pattern. At the same time that it concerns me, it makes me incredibly glad to be leaving, because I really don't want to deal with this anymore. And now I'm worried that makes me a bad person even though, I mean, practically four years straight and now it culminates in getting screeched at when I'm legitimately trying to help. And even when I explain that.

Sometimes I feel like my parents act less like adults than I do. That's probably at least 80% short-sightedness/egotism/inability to get inside their heads/what-have-you but they've done some really stupid and immature and insensitive things and it's just

ugh.

Three more fucking days.

I wasn't going to let this go any further than bitching about it on IRC, but the fact that the electoral tribunal, behind closed doors, ruled in favor of the corrupt incumbent party is intolerable.

At my uni, the student union is usually controlled by a party that manages its $16 million budget. Each year, elections are held to determine this party. Parties need to register their name and members in order to be on the ballot as an official party - otherwise they have to run as independent and don't get listed on the official ballot.

This year, the incumbent party decided that they were going to change, without notice and behind closed doors, certain key pieces of legislation: namely one that protects registered names for major parties for up to ten years. They then went ahead and registered the names of every opposing party, as well as a swathe of other names (interestingly, one of these was 'Beer'). As a result, every opposing party was barred from registering, and changing their name would have to result in thousands of dollars' worth of merchandising, brand building, flyers, shirts, posters etc. needing to be replaced, which couldn't be afforded because, as previously mentioned, the incumbents have the 16 million dollar budget.

The parties then withdrew in protest, leaving only a smattering of independents to run against the juggernaut that is the incumbent party. They formed a group for democracy, which is now being spammed by proponents for the incumbents employing bars to rational thought like PRATT (Point Refuted A Thousand Times) i.e. repeating themselves every fifteen minutes in a new post, demanding evidence and ignoring it when it's presented. The movement, however, got the mainstream media on the scene, which is a Good Thing on that matter at least.

But dammit, the fact that this happened just makes me despair for humanity.

Oh, right, did I mention that the incumbents have been in power for the past five years? And that last year they were going to lose, but also changed the vote counting from alternative vote to first past the post at the last minute so that they could win?

Not to mention the fact that over those five years, they've done nothing but bring franchises into the uni in order to make money, and spending that money on extravagant parties and merchandise, all the while promising to improve student services and abolish student taxes? And goddamn textbook subsidies?!

Sigh.

If i am incoherent on irc later this is probably why.

Waiting on correspondence is never fun. Being in a state of constant nerves tires me out really quickly as well. Or maybe I just haven't slept enough hours the past couple days. I dunno.

I should've got a call or an email today if Fairfax are sticking to the schedule for internship applications that they've got on their website. A day after is still well within their grounds but in the interim I just want a yea or nay already so I can get on with sorting out my plans for next year if it doesn't work out.

This weekend is going to be busy as fuck because I'm working most of it and also planning to move out, and I'm not packed, and I haven't sorted out a gift for Father's Day. It's Thursday midnight and I'm working most of Friday so need to get up in the morning and hit up the shops then. Or something. Or just get all the work done punctually I don't even know

Also my PoS laptop battery died without warning and ate a post I had in Notepad. Which is p. much the easiest way to kill my motivation to write.


Uuuuugh basically waiting on things sucks.

So i found out last night while all of my classmates were incredibly drunk that they think my best friend and I are a thing. To the point of having a couple name for us. I'm pretty amused by that since we're just close friends (and I have a boyfriend :B).

Except that one of our mutual close-friend-classmate-things suggested that if said friend had the chance, he'd probably take it... and I have had my suspicions for a while too. He would never, ever make a move while I'm with my boyfriend and i wouldn't really mind/care if he had feelings for me but now I'm really concerned because I don't want to hurt him? And this is all speculation still D:

Dumb sleep deprived feelings time with Plaid I guess

Father's Day is in September in New Zealand? I always assumed it was June damn near everywhere. Huh.

Narp, by technically it's always the first Sunday of our southern-hemisphere spring.

Also I got the present sorted out. My spatial awareness or some horseshit failed to betray me, and I remembered exactly which shop sold the thing I needed. Now it's just off to work for nine hours wheee

So this morning I overslept and couldn't do a job for my nan, which was a job I wanted to do and volunteered to do. Then she got all pissed off and acted as though I had decided to oversleep because I hated her and didn't want to do any jobs for her and we got into a ridiculous argument which eventually blowed over and we got on with stuff and everything was fine.

Except now I volunteered to do what is fundamentally a different (less time sensitive job) and she shoots me down like due to this one instance of oversleeping I can no longer be trusted to carry out any tasks at all ever. It is so fucking stupid I just want to help out and I know she wants me to help out and I am just getting all this attitude.

Probably the most annoying thing is that she could easily have woke me up if it was such a big deal but she'd prefer to not do that and just bitch at me for not doing what she asked. UGH.

At least three different people have either explicitly told me I'm a terrible person or heavily implied it and they're pretty much entirely correct. I'd feel kind of terrible about having one of my paranoid fears totally confirmed but that's superseded by my own doubt in my capacity to improve in any regard.

I got a new tablet <3
Why isn't this in the joysplosion thread?
Because goddamit gimp what the hell why is your help file so half-assed? what am i supposed to do to make it so i can do more than just pen tool, and do things like, blur tool and stuff....ughh

it's always nice when you feel shit for something out of your control
and then, when it nags at you until you can't sleep
the
b e s t

job done

i'm sick


can we end this fucking piece of shit month yet