[split] The Return of Jester Mafia - GAME END!

I sensibly stay home and try to get better with a bowl of chicken soup, ginger ale, and NyQuil.

All in one bowl?

Um, duh! It works better that way.

How did a bowl of chicken soup, ginger ale, and NyQuil get ill in the first place?

OH GOD ONLY SEVEN OF US REMAIN.

We have to set up a quarantine or something and hide out until the vaccine is finished.

Considering that'll be next post we're safe i guess?

Oh crap guys here we go again...

INFECTED JESTER CYBER95 HAS LEFT QUITE A MESS!

INFECTED JESTER TEHPILOT HAS LEFT QUITE A MESS!

INFECTED JESTER JACQUEREL HAS LEFT QUITE A MESS!

Epamynondas cleans the gunk out of his nails!

yd12k tiptoes around the filth!

ICan'tGiveCredit watches a PSA!

Surixian wraps pipe-cleaners around his face!

MalkyTop is a soap dispenser!

Palamedes grabs a towel and doesn't panic!

Mirdini only drinks 40 proof!

I don't know how long we can keep this up. Where are those poorly-paid researchers when you need them?

oh here they are

RESEARCH PROGRESS: 2/2

This new variant of the disease targets the absent or inattentive. It appears that if a jester does not speak up within 30 posts of an infected player's post, they risk contracting the virus.

Okay so I guess we just keep talking to each other just as long as - oh goddammit.

THE VIRUS has MUTATED!

AW HELL NO. I don't care about the freaking vaccine. You research guys, go and help those research guys. It's no good to us if we don't know how it works!

VACCINE PROGRESS: 3/4

RESEARCH PROGRESS: 1/2

I will donate my body for research! What ever it takes man!

>Do Science.

GOOD MORNING FLESHBUMS. BEGGING AROUND FOR HEALTHY IMMUNE SYSTEMS AGAIN, I SEE. DID YOU KNOW THAT BACTERIAL SOAP DOES NOT WORK FOR LONG BECAUSE BACTERIA CAN ALWAYS ADAPT TO IT? I DO TOO. THIS IS WHY I WILL DRINK A DIFFERENT CONTAINER OF BACTERIAL SOAP FOR EVERY OCCASION.

ANYWAYS WHILE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU GO DIE IN A DITCH, WHY DON'T WE SPEND THE TIME SHOOTING THE SHIT. THIS UNIT COMES PREPARED WITH CONVERSATION PROTOCOLS, SOME OF WHICH AREN'T INSULTING. LET US EXCHANGE PERSONAL INFORMATION IN A CASUAL MANNER IN ORDER TO BUILD A COMMUNITY OF FILTHY, CONTAGIOUS, BEINGS. AND THEN LYNCH SOMEBODY.

OH GOD ONLY SEVEN OF US REMAIN.

We have to set up a quarantine or something and hide out until the vaccine is finished.

Not to worry gentlemen. I have returned from the depths of unknown space, bringing with me an infinite supply of staples. I will gladly donate them to the cause.

This is mighty fine stuff. Where'd you get your hands on these spirits granolaman?

Boy golly these science-types can work fast when you force them to.

Not sure if this is good news though.

RESEARCH PROGRESS: 2/2

This new mutation is spread primarily by aggressive tendencies on the part of the infected. When banning together, they can force the infection onto a non-infected jester, though whatever disgusting means they manage to accomplish.

They can only each harass one jester at a time, however.

Researchers suggest that targeted healthy individuals find some way of holding back the infected hoarde. The effectiveness of their defenses will only be determined when compared to the number and type of attacks presented by the hoarde.

Oh that's good news! So you seven only have to fend off the plauge while we wait for the vaccine to be finished. (I'll get the researchers back on that). Once that happens, I dunno, we can just let the virused kill themselves or something. unless something crazy happened, like everyone being infected, but who would want that?


I would like to point out that the source of all of this nonsense was Dragon Fogel. He was the first infected after all.

...Wait. Isn't-

Hrm.

Well, the virus hasn't actually done any harm, s'far as I can tell. It just... spreads. A lot. In many ways. Hrm.

Hrrrm.

Not The Author clings to Palamedes.

*Sets precious liquor on fire to make a flaming wall of protection around bunker, activate bunker lockdown*

Hell Yeah It's HORD TIME!

HAVE MY WALRUS RABIES!

Purple Walrus tires to bite MalkyTop's arm!

IT SEEMS THAT THE INFECTED MAY PERHAPS BE TEMPTED TO DOGPILE UPON THE MINORITY. HOWEVER I HAVE SWALLOWED A LOT OF BACTERIAL SOAP BY NOW AND I CAN PROJECTILE VOMIT THEM ON COMMAND RIGHT INTO ANY INFECTED ATTACKER'S EYES.

IT'S PAINFUL. I HAVE RESEARCH THAT PROVES THIS. VERY PAINFUL.

NOW EVERYBODY INFECTED GO TO THE QUARANTINE CORNER PLEASE AND REFLECT QUIETLY UPON YOUR CARELESSNESS IN GETTING SICK. IN THE MEANTIME I AM GOING TO GO BATHE IN THE SYRINGES THAT NOBODY PROPERLY FILLED A FORM OUT FOR.

How, exactly, do you bathe in a syringe?

Magic, willpower, and lots of pushing.

ruff-ruff-woof-woof arf ruff-aroooooo-aru arf-arooooo arf-woof-arf aroo ruff-woof-woof-ruff woof arf-woof-aroooo-woof arf-arf woof-arooo-woof arf-arf-arf aroooo arf-woof grrrrrr-arf woof-arf-grrr-ruff woof grrrr-arf-arooo-woof aroooo arf aroo-ruff-woof arf-grrrrr ruff-woof-arooooo-arf aroooo ruff arf-grr-woof ruff-aroo ruff-grrrr-arf-woof arf-grrrrr-arf-woof woof-arooooo-ruff-aru-arf-grrrrrr

gr-arf-arooooo-grrrrr grrrrrr-gr-grrrr woof-arf-aroo ruff-grrrrr-arooo ruff arf-grrrrrr-ruff arf grrrrrr ruff-ruff-woof-arf arf grrrrrr-arooo-grr grrrrrr-ruff ruff woof-aru-arooo woof-woof-ruff-arf aroooooo-grrrr-grrrrr arf-ruff aru-arf ruff-woof-grr-woof arf grr-ruff-gr-arf grrr ruff arooooo-woof-arf arf-ruff-woof-arf arf-arf grrrrrr-arooooo woof-grr-arf-aroooo-arf-aroooooo

FACT: It is good luck to keep broken glass in your pockets at all times.

Vomit profusely on MalkyTop

well who am i to deny something like this

Cough obnoxiously on MalkyTop

Bleh... too much effort. I'll just take a Tylenol or something. Where's a Doc when you need one?

PROJECTILE VOMIT BACTERIAL SOAP IN EVERYBODY'S EYES THEN ROLL AROUND IN A PILE OF SYRINGES.