Woop Zoop, It's Mafia Time! (Day 1)

Fuck people, we need to call Woffles/Wojjan one thing and stick with it. I mean, even on that retarded secret, they used both names in the same sentence. Why is it always inevitably my burden to sort these sorts of messes out?!

Votals:

Schazer: 1 (Solaris)
Wheat: 1 (AgentBlue)
Dragon Fogel: 2 (Sanzh, Schazer)
Woffles: 5 (Ixcaliber, g0m, Chwoka, TimeothyHour, Wheat)
You: 1 (Cyber95)
Chwoka: 2 (Mirdini, Epamynondas)
Whoever That Guy Is: 1 (MrGuy)

WITH 20 ALIVE, IT TAKES 11 FOR A HARD LYNCH OR 6 FOR A SOFT LYNCH. Day ends on the 21st. 19 HOURS REMAIN

I'm just going to reiterate for all of you people riding along my wagon: Unless you swoop in to give some reasoning of your own, you are lynching me for being pro-town in a mafia game. No matter how many captions you add to that, it's still an incredibly dumb reason to lynch for.

I'm just going to reiterate for all of you people riding along my wagon:

The only wagon here is Bearwagon.

Unless you swoop in to give some reasoning of your own,

We have, each of us. Try reading the thread.

you are lynching me for being pro-town in a mafia game.

For the most part, we're lynching you because you're either missing the entire point of the game, or because you're jumping at the opportunity to seem trustworthy and thus, ironically enough, seem scummy.

No matter how many captions you add to that,

Now you're getting bitchy about a fandom!secret made about you. Great.

it's still an incredibly dumb reason to lynch for.

It is. That's why almost nobody is lynching you for the reasons you listed. We're not made of straw.

We have, each of us. Try reading the thread.
For the most part, we're lynching you because you're either missing the entire point of the game, or because you're jumping at the opportunity to seem trustworthy and thus, ironically enough, seem scummy.

For the truly most part you haven't given reasons at all. Malky would vote me people people are voting me, Bearwagon votes me for reasons unknown because Bearwagon does not possess the ability to speak English. your vote on me was explained with "because I'm good at winning", which is also what Godbot's copvigging on me boils down to. apart from me not posting gifs there has been a single thing raised against me, ending RVS and starting RQS. I'll point to Zeldafia and I think Allstars as well on MSPA where Chiral and Genetix respectively both urged to get people out of RVS. Both of which, by the way, have already died and flipped town. RQS is an inherently town thing to do, and painting it off as "you're trying to be town" is just absolute bullshit. As town you're nothing in a game without info and just posting reactionimage.jpg after the next is not going anywhere. I RQS because I want info from you guys, speculation, conversation, and not just posts that are mafia foam pellets. I don't have any objection to being silly, as Ix' crude sketches seem to imply, I even snickered at the dartboard F!S. At the end of the line though this is a mafia game, so lynching me for treating it as such is, as I said before, ridiculous.

Now you're getting bitchy about a fandom!secret made about you. Great.

I didn't say that. Get your straw out of my mouth.

Now you're getting bitchy about a fandom!secret made about you. Great.

I didn't say that. Get your straw out of my mouth.

Well what else do you call a caption other than "putting text on a picture"?!

Yeah way to ignore everything else in that post. Basically the caption thing was about as literal as someone actually posting pictures of italian hard-boiled foam pellets in his posts. Stop reading into posts so much because picking apart phrasing the way you do rips language from context which is pretty much on useful to make it seem as if someone is saying a lot of scummy things.

Hippy.

rips

YEAH IT'S AWFUL APPROPRIATE YOU USE THIS WORD, 'CAUSE YOU'RE BASICALLY A HUMAN FART

AWFUL

SpoilerShow

Wheat just because I'm not posting nonsense doesn't mean I'm not enjoying myself. Mafia is a game entirely about arguing so I wouldn't join if I couldn't handle being in a tight spot once in a while. If that was a serious call for a modkill (I can't even tell) then I really urge you to disregard it.

OMG! Sorry Woffs for doing such a poor likeness of you in my previous picture. It might be because that picture was of me and Mirdini. How about I make it up by drawing a picture of you.



I know my scrawlings can be difficult to comprehend so I added a nametag to indicate that the woman pictured is in fact respresentative of you. I hope this makes up for my earlier ambiguity.

Oh my god it's only Day 1 and already this game is giving me a headache.

Woff, lynching you is probably the worst lynch option right now. I'm sorry, I think I worded my last post pretty darn poorly. I don't want to vote for you because I'm fairly certain that voting for you just because you asked questions would be pretty darn stupid. I can't say that these questions are that useful right now, though. I believe I was going for wry humor. Especially since the only serious lynching talks people are yakking 'bout seem to be either you or Chwoka for his thingything.

(I still hate you for Schmaltz though.)

But yeah, guys, asking questions doesn't immediately mean scum trying to look good in a game like this. Or at least I'd like more evidence than that. It's kind of silly to jump on her like that and actually, who was the first one who said that? Maybe we should be looking at him instead. (Or her.)

Okay, so that was Schazer. Although I'm not entirely sure how serious she was being. Well, maybe you'll tell me?

Vote: Schazer

And Time was the last one on there, so I suppose I'll stare suspiciously at you too because nnnnnnnnngh.

And picture guy whoever you are yeah you're right I would have totally voted you for saying that.

Also I'm not really liking Chwoookaaaaaaa aaaagh but that's hypocriticalllll.

I could imagine someone turning the word 'hypocritical' into a song.

Why did I write so much I'm sorry.

Okay, this secret guy has had A FULL GAME DAY to go and give me something using a Despite Being joke, I am voting him because HE DID NOT PLEASE ME

The Nest buzzed in annoyance.

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

This Wojjan lady was cantankerous, to be sure, but it was the type of cantankery The Nest could approve of. After all, you'd catch more flies with STINGING THEM TO DEATH than you did with off-topic honey.

The Nest considered those currently selecting her for elimination - and judged them DOUCHEBAGS for doing so.

After all, most of them had provided practically no reason but "she's being unfun and asking questions".

The Nest knew who didn't like questions - THE MAFIA.

The Nest kept voting Chwoka in irritation, wondering why others didn't seem to find him lynchworthy. Though it supposed any of the others intent on murdering Wojjan would also do.

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Not to mention none of the other townsfolk were CREATURE ENOUGH to vote as per The Nest's request - still, it supposed it shouldn't expect more from these lightweights.

SpoilerShow

Don't actually find you cantankerous Wojj~

This is just clashing mafia styles: the game

Okay, time to get serious. I'm the SWAT cop, which is a regular cop role that can survive one shot at night. I'll be honest, I think it's a little OP but I can deal due to circumstances. I'm going to continue lynching whoever I voted for, because that's what town would do [and I am town].

Okay, time to get serious. I'm the SWAT cop, which is a regular cop role that can survive one shot at night. I'll be honest, I think it's a little OP but I can deal due to circumstances. I'm going to continue lynching whoever I voted for, because that's what town would do [and I am town].

Smooth move, now the mafia knows they need to gang up on you to kill you.

Huuurgh I haven't been contributing because I'm a terrible Sanzh but I'm not really sure what my opinions are. I sort of want to say Wojjan is scum because she's trying to get us focused on constructively getting our murder on (Which means she's bad? Maybe she's trying to get it to be lynching the wrong people I'm not good at mafia what does this all mean). The next real runners-up for vote tallies are Chwoka (who is content to be hilarious I guess) and Fogel (who's a person) so uh, that doesn't really help either.

Yeah I'm sticking Fogel, never trust a man with two names but who slaps you if you use one of them.

Vote: Sanzh for not being able to tell the difference between a name and a title.

How is Dragon a title in anything but post-apocalyptic gangs (or, according to a quick Google search, Call of Duty)?
Fogel are you from the future or do you just really enjoy first-person shooters

It found one cranky old contestant waving a cane at those who had sullied the art of the Grand Battle with their irreverence, and another crowd of meatmeals shouting at her to roll over and die.

The curmudgeon is long dead. This, and every bearwagon post afterwards, is invalidated as a result.

Also YAY DRAMA TIMES

Okay, time to get serious. I'm the SWAT cop, which is a regular cop role that can survive one shot at night. I'll be honest, I think it's a little OP but I can deal due to circumstances. I'm going to continue lynching whoever I voted for, because that's what town would do [and I am town].

Smooth move, now the mafia knows they need to gang up on you to kill you.

No, it's cool, I was lying.

Votals:

Schazer: 2 (Solaris, MalkyTop)
Wheat: 1 (AgentBlue)
Dragon Fogel: 2 (Sanzh, Schazer)
Woffles: 5 (Ixcaliber, g0m, Chwoka, TimeothyHour, Wheat)
You: 1 (Cyber95)
Chwoka: 2 (Mirdini, Epamynondas)
Whoever That Guy Is: 2 (MrGuy, Solaris)
Sanzh: 1 (Dragon Fogel)

WITH 20 ALIVE, IT TAKES 11 TO LYNCH OR 6 FOR A SOFT LYNCH. DEADLINE WOULD BE IN 15 MINUTES, BUT I'M GIVING A 2-HOUR EXTENSION BECAUSE I WAS ASLEEP WHEN I WANTED THE DAY TO END.

Okay, time to get serious. I'm the SWAT cop, which is a regular cop role that can survive one shot at night. I'll be honest, I think it's a little OP but I can deal due to circumstances. I'm going to continue lynching whoever I voted for, because that's what town would do [and I am town].

Smooth move, now the mafia knows they need to gang up on you to kill you.

No, it's cool, I was lying.

So you're scum, is that it?!

Unvote: Whoever That Guy Is
Vote: The guy I just called scum right here

Oh uh hm

I honestly think we'd get more from a lynch than a no lynch, which I think is generally how you guys work, too - so I'm gonna Vote: Woffles and push her to the soft lynch limit, 'cause we're not gonna get another bandwagon together in time for the deadline.

The deadline, and extended deadline, have passed! Nightstart will be up shortly.

SpoilerShow

Sorry for the delay, everyone; the behind-the-scenes for this day-end is a little involved, and I got caught up doing other things before I finished.

Just a reminder/a heads up for those of you who haven't played before: there should be no discussion of the game outside this thread, especially at night. There are powers that circumvent this restriction, but not everyone has them, and if you do, you know it.

Here's your lynch:

The day stretched on and stretched on; there was a good deal of arguing, but only a bit of it had much to do with the matter at hand. Or at least, directly. The start of the day saw a flurry of votes, but after that, interest in accomplishing anything with the magic of Democracy™ seemed to wane.

As stars began subtly sprinkling themselves across the darkening sky, a few people realized that if SOMETHING was to be done, it would have to be done soon. With no real other option, a few languorous votes slated the fuming Woffles for a hasty execution.

She went to the noose glaring. "You'll regret this!" she told them. "You're just letting them walk all over you with your shenanigans. No-one takes things seriously anymore! Why, in my day..."

A quick shove and slightly-less quick asphyxiation curtailed the doubtless-unbearable ramble that would have followed; as Woffles died, the illusion around her faded, confirming what her dying cantankerousness had hinted at.

Woffles was The Wizard, a basically-omnipotent old mage who wielded the power of magic as though it was a toy. She could do whatever she wanted!... Or could have, if she hadn't sent all her Items Of Power out to be cleaned just before all this happened.

Even without her fancy tools, though, she was still a force to be reckoned with; she had a number of spells at her disposal, including ones that protected, ones that killed, ones that divined, and ones that moved. She was a Jack of All Trades on steroids, even empty-handed.

However, if she chose to forgo relying on her fallback spells, she could spend her nights searching for her apprentice (who was the one taking her things to the cleaners when this started); if she ever found him she would have regained her full potential, essentially allowing her to do whatever she damn well pleased with only her conscience and her apprentice to guide her. She was, therefore, a Seeking Masonventor in addition to her Jack abilities.

Welp. That had certainly been a result.

As the crowd dispersed, they discovered a shimmering image emblazoned on a nearby wall, its already-touching message made all the more poignant by Woffles's heartless lynching.



It was certainly quite a way to end the beginning.

NIGHT 1 ENDS WHEN I HAVE ALL ACTIONS IN OR ON THE 27th AT 3 PM

PROMPTER IS ALWAYS BETTER