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**OTTO** · 05-24-2009, 07:53 PM

Originally posted on MSPA by andanotherone.

HADOKEN the statch.

Crowstone · 05-24-2009, 08:45 PM

Originally posted on MSPA by Crowstone.

>Knock on the chest, and determine that it is hollow. Then open it. It's hollow! that would be pointless.

>And don't actually knock on the chest. It would be pointless to do all that if there was stuff in it and you were trying to be pointless.

>So just open the chest.

**OTTO** · 05-24-2009, 11:25 PM

Originally posted on MSPA by AllIsLost.

Backflip.

**OTTO** · 05-25-2009, 02:44 AM

Originally posted on MSPA by pancakes=D.

do a jig

**OTTO** · 05-25-2009, 02:20 PM

Originally posted on MSPA by pancakes=D.

ride key like mechanical bull while the key is ridding the chest like a mechanical bull.

Dragon Fogel · 05-25-2009, 03:01 PM

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

andanotherone Wrote:SPIN AROUND REALLY FAST!

Your attempt to do this only causes you to fall off the chest. It's not really designed for spinning on top of.

The Seeker Wrote:>Use your keyaxebladehat to knock down the right wall.

That sounds quite pointless! And to make it extra pointless, you're going to do this without taking the key off your head.

[Image: command07c.png]

You run into the wall and the key gets knocked off your head.

[Image: command07d.png]

You retrieve the key and prepare to run into the wall again. This could take a while.

[Image: command07e.png]

While you're wasting time doing that, someone runs in and steals the amulet.

[Image: command07f.png]

After several hours, a passageway opens up. Obviously, you have no intention of going through it, just to make all the work more pointless.

andanotherone Wrote:pretend your hat is a gun and shoot the chest1

Ready, aim...

[Image: command07h.png]

FIRE! Wow, that actually worked! Except, since you always pointlessly reorient the key when you face a different way, the bullet didn't hit the chest at all. But that just makes it more pointless! The shot hits the opposite wall, but has no significant effects.

blueberryclock2 Wrote:>Make insults about having Relations with the Statue's Mother Figure.

You make an insult about you being related to the statue's mother. You don't see how that's particularly insulting, especially since it isn't true, but that just makes it more pointless to do in your eyes.

[Image: command07j.png]

Wait, what's going on?

[Image: command07k.png]

You drift through a void...

[Image: command07l.png]

By the looks of things, either the statue destroyed you for your insult and you have gone to Hell to be punished for your sins (and apparently the chest has had a pretty sinful existence too, since it came with you); or, by an amazing coincidence, your insult sounded exactly like the ancient phrase used to activate the statue's teleportation powers, which sent you either to Hell or to some fiery cave.
You decide that neither of these explanations is pointless enough for you, however, and instead conclude that you have gone on a trip to France.

SpoilerShow

**OTTO** · 05-25-2009, 03:02 PM

Originally posted on MSPA by Trouble_Gangster.

>: Challenge chest to game of magic the gathering. Summon ultimate creature.

[Image: rorschachtheadjudicator.jpg]

**OTTO** · 05-25-2009, 03:06 PM

Originally posted on MSPA by The Seeker.

>Ask the statue bellow you for the time of day. If he ignores you, place your keyaxebladehatsurfboard in the magma(you're underground, right?) and attempt to surf on it.

SleepingOrange · 05-25-2009, 04:48 PM

Originally posted on MSPA by SleepingOrange.

Trouble_Gangster Wrote:>: Challenge chest to game of magic the gathering. Summon ultimate creature.

First strike and double strike are redundant, as a creature with double strike inherently has first strike as well!

>Eat that rock

Crowstone · 05-26-2009, 12:47 AM

Originally posted on MSPA by Crowstone.

>Greet the lybrarian

**OTTO** · 05-26-2009, 11:18 AM

Originally posted on MSPA by blueberryclock2.

>Check that the lava is Really Lava. Drink it.

Dragon Fogel · 05-26-2009, 03:37 PM

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

andanotherone Wrote:HADOKEN the statch.

You hadoken a dragon statue, on the theory that it might be able to send you back, and so it would be pointless to destroy it. Of course, you can't use this ability in any situation where it would actually be *useful*, that would only raise your Point Meter!

[Image: command07l.png]

The dragon statue is completely unharmed by the attack. Well, that just made it more pointless!

Crowstone Wrote:>Knock on the chest, and determine that it is hollow. Then open it. It's hollow! that would be pointless.

>And don't actually knock on the chest. It would be pointless to do all that if there was stuff in it and you were trying to be pointless.

>So just open the chest.

You aren't sure if this argument convinces you, but then again, recklessly doing things when you aren't fully convinced is pretty pointless.

[Image: command07l.png]

But the chest is still locked. And you still have no idea where you could possibly find a key to it. You decide to give up, because you're pretty sure you could find a solution if you tried hard enough.

AllIsLost Wrote:Backflip.

You do a backflip. This causes the key to fall off your head, since you haven't secured it in any way...

[Image: command08d.png]

And you land on it.
You decide to use the key as a skateboard instead. A skateboard with no wheels, and not particularly good traction.

pancakes=D Wrote:do a jig

You do a jig on your skateboard key.

[Image: command08f.png]

Your jig is an elegant piece of artistry, but its true beauty cannot possibly be captured by one simple picture.

pancakes=D Wrote:ride key like mechanical bull while the key is ridding the chest like a mechanical bull.

You do this. You still haven't got the slightest idea where you could possibly find a key to the chest.

Trouble_Gangster Wrote:>: Challenge chest to game of magic the gathering. Summon ultimate creature.

The chest doesn't have a deck. You somehow manage to lose to it anyways.

The Seeker Wrote:>Ask the statue bellow you for the time of day. If he ignores you, place your keyaxebladehatsurfboard in the magma(you're underground, right?) and attempt to surf on it.

The statue doesn't respond. You pointlessly waste several minutes trying to get a response out of it, when you suddenly realize you could be doing something even more pointless.

[Image: command08j.png]

You put your key in some magma (it's a skateboard with no wheels, not a surfboard!) and...

[Image: command08k.png]

Well, that's no good. It seems the key is completely fireproof! You could navigate the entire sea of magma on it! This isn't as pointless as you hoped.

[Image: command08l.png]

You put your hat back on.

SleepingOrange Wrote:
Trouble_Gangster Wrote:>: Challenge chest to game of magic the gathering. Summon ultimate creature.
First strike and double strike are redundant, as a creature with double strike inherently has first strike as well!

Exactly! It's pointless to have both! Of course, you always lose anyways.

SleepingOrange Wrote:>Eat that rock

That sounds nice and pointless.

[Image: command08n.png]

Wait... This rock is edible! And pretty tasty, too. This isn't pointless, either!

[Image: command08o.png]

You begin to suspect that you are in Hell, and your eternal punishment is to be faced with only options that are not completely pointless. What a terrible fate!

Crowstone Wrote:>Greet the lybrarian

You're not sure who that is.

[Image: command08q.png]

Maybe it's that guy over there? You wave to him, but he doesn't notice you. So you keep waving! Then when it looks like he's about to turn around, you stop.

blueberryclock2 Wrote:>Check that the lava is Really Lava. Drink it.

It's lava, all right, and it's very hot... but completely safe to drink! Your theory that you are in a Hell of Non-Pointlessness is beginning to look plausible.

**OTTO** · 05-26-2009, 05:49 PM

Originally posted on MSPA by The Seeker.

>Check to see if your key gets WiFi.

**OTTO** · 05-26-2009, 06:05 PM

Originally posted on MSPA by blueberryclock2.

**I move away from the keyboard to breathe

> Twiddle your thumbs
> Take a bath in the lava.
> Play Russian Roulette with the key
> Remember the good times you had with Wet Sand
> Imagine
> Sample music
> See how much lava you can drink in one sitting
> Moonwalk
> Create an opera
> Waste your time (Playing video games)
> Make Origami
> Cough up blood
> See how many keys you can eat in one sitting
> Buy the latest issue of 'Hunk Rump'
> Become a Buddhist
> Cross into another MSPFA
> See how many chests you can eat in one sitting
> Preform comedy on broadway
> Stop the Kennedy Assassination
> Become a citizen of 'Hell'
> Ponder the number 42
> Wed the key, Have many children
> Become a cannibal
> Become a vegitarian
> Build a twinkie house
> [img]images/smilies/weasel.gif[/img]

Dragon Fogel · 05-26-2009, 06:52 PM

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

The Seeker Wrote:>Check to see if your key gets WiFi.

Now how do you do that? Maybe your inventory screen will tell you.

[Image: command09.png]

Oh. You were hoping it wouldn't be that simple. You notice that the equipment screen has multiple rows, possibly suggesting you will get party members at some point in the future. You hope not, then it can be a pointless waste of space. You also hope those six mysterious equipment slots never get filled, for similar reasons.

SpoilerShow

**OTTO** · 05-26-2009, 06:59 PM

Originally posted on MSPA by andanotherone.

use your key as a gun and shoot the chest at point blank range.

Crowstone · 05-26-2009, 08:06 PM

Originally posted on MSPA by Crowstone.

Quote:use your key as a gun and shoot the chest at point blank range.

Make sure you aim at the ground so that the bullet can bounce at the chest. At point blank range.

**OTTO** · 05-26-2009, 08:09 PM

Originally posted on MSPA by The Seeker.

I have discovered a loophole. If you do things with a point so that you can fill up the point meter for a pointless reason...wait...what'll happen?

>Pointlessly do things that have a point

**OTTO** · 05-31-2009, 06:54 PM

Originally posted on MSPA by blueberryclock2.

>BBC2: Feel bad that you killed the thread. [img]images/smilies/icon_sad.gif[/img]

**OTTO** · 05-31-2009, 07:12 PM

Originally posted on MSPA by Bradley.

Attempt to eat the key.

**OTTO** · 05-31-2009, 08:00 PM

Originally posted on MSPA by AllIsLost.

Use keysword to push chest into lava.

Dragon Fogel · 05-31-2009, 08:16 PM

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

I've got an idea what to do here, I've just been lazy.

I'll start putting together the next update.

Dragon Fogel · 05-31-2009, 09:26 PM

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

Crowstone Wrote:
andanotherone Wrote:use your key as a gun and shoot the chest at point blank range.
Make sure you aim at the ground so that the bullet can bounce at the chest. At point blank range.

What a pointless idea! It probably won't open the chest, and the recoil could be seriously harmful!

[Image: command10b.png]

Of course, you're still pointlessly keeping the key pointed in the same direction, so the bullet doesn't go anywhere near the chest.

[Image: command10c.png]

It keeps going for quite a while. Somewhere in the distance, the recently-damned soul of a GiantMonst hears a strange noise.

The Seeker Wrote:>Pointlessly do things that have a point

You decide to do things that have a point for the sake of filling your Point Meter... but wait, how will you do that without compromising your goal of pointlessness?

SpoilerShow

That's it! You'll do a whole lot of things, some of them pointless, some of them not! That way, you can raise your Point Meter while still doing pointless things!

[Image: command10e.png]

You start getting to work on your various tasks, pointless and not, in a blur of activity. You move so fast that you keep dropping your hat.

[Image: command10f.png]

Once you're done, you check your Point Meter. You have gained 1 Point. Well, it looks like this will work if you do it for long enough, so you decide to pointlessly change your methods.

Bradley Wrote:Attempt to eat the key.

You think about this, and decide it would be more pointless to wait until you're full before you eat it.

AllIsLost Wrote:Use keysword to push chest into lava.

The chest is nice and heavy, so this is certainly a pointless enough task for you.

[Image: command10h.png]

Whoops! You slipped. The key falls into the lock and opens the chest.

[Image: command10i.png]

Inside the chest is a Fake Inflatable Amulet of Pomposity. You recall that you put the real one in plain sight and hid the fake one in a chest.

Crowstone · 05-31-2009, 09:53 PM

Originally posted on MSPA by Crowstone.

>Wear that as a hat, and the key as a cape

SleepingOrange · 06-01-2009, 05:42 AM

Originally posted on MSPA by SleepingOrange.

Dragon Fogel Wrote:Inside the chest is a Fake Inflatable Amulet of Pomposity. You recall that you put the real one in plain sight and hid the fake one in a chest.

>Offer the Fake Amulet to Thoth.

>Wizard of Yendor: Attack Nopor Puss.