Lyr♪cquest

My name is "No"
My sign is "No"
My number is "No"
You need to let it go
You need to let it go
Need to let it go

SpoilerShow

My future's determined by thieves, thugs, and vermin

it's quite an excursion, but, it's ok

I like vanilla, It's the finest of the flavors.

...Because I'm all about value.

It's gonna take a lot to drag me away (from you)

What's the worst that could happen?

What if I told you

I could show you something

What if I told you

I could make you live

Follow my instruction

Swim in the direction

Of my voice, hear my voice

Of my voice, hear my voice

What's the worst that could happen? you think, as an impatient Mistic taps her foot. You've never done a partner quest before. Sounds like a (mis)adventure waiting to happen.

"Alright, I guess."

"Hooray!"

"But I've got a few conditions."

"Boo!"

Mistic pouts. Unaffected, you consult your INVENTORY and find your funds lacking. The repeated penalties for dying midway through the Tower halved your savings.

"Number one: We split whatever loot we've gathered at by the end of the quest."

"That's fair."

"Number two: We see this through to the end. Once we step into that dungeon, I'm sticking with you. I don't wanna grow my abandoned quest tally."

"Oho~ you're a reformed ragequitter!" She pauses, frowns. "Say, shouldn't I be more worried about you flaking on me than vice-versa?"

You continue before she retracts her offer, holding up a finger. You're actually kinda getting into this, now.

"Number three: You accompany me on a mission of my choosing in the future, from start to finish. What do you say?"

"Psh. Is that all?" She extends a hand. "You've got a deal. I'll even let you ride my Ostrasaur."

You glance at the feathered beast, which pecks idly at various engravings on the lobby's stone walls.

"Can I drive?"

"Don't push your luck." She flashes a wry smile and calls up her PARTY window. "Lessee..."

ʜʏᴘᴇʀʙᴏʟɪᴄsʏʟʟᴀʙɪᴄsᴇsǫᴜᴇᴅᴀʟʏᴍɪsᴛɪᴄ
has invited you to party [Jitters and Mistic on an Epic Adventure!]

An unintentional snort-laugh forces its way through your nose. You tap ACCEPT. Mistic whistles her Ostrasaur over, clambers into the saddle, and helps you up behind her.

"Do you wanna find someplace to upgrade your equipment first, or anything like that? Otherwise we'll warp straight to the Netherwood."

What do?

>_

Darkened nights and violent things, vaudevillian girls and violin strings.

I'm gonna bribe the officials, I'm gonna kill all the judges

"Let's stop by the capital for a minute. I need to cash in a favour with someone."

"Oooh, mysterious! What kinda favour?" She leads the Ostrasaur in a trot toward the warp gate serving as the Tower exit. "Tell me all your juicy secrets, Jitters~"

Eugh, that nickname. "Can you call me something else? Something that sounds less like the symptoms of a medical condition?"

"Mmmm.... nope."

You heave a sigh, which becomes a shout when Mistic snaps the reins. You, she, and the Ostrasaur charge through the gate and vanish.

What kind of favour, indeed?

>_

Pack a bag of clean clothes, take two, here goes

supergroovalisticprosifunkstication

Stacy's mom has got it going on
She's all I want and I've waited for so long

About half an hour later, you emerge from the storage room of a top-tier equipment dealership wearing two INVENTORY-expansion satchels and suggestively rumpled clothing. Stacy's mom is a lovely woman for an AI.

You look up Mistic on your mini-map and head to town square. She awaits by the fountain, entertaining starry-eyed newbies with her Ostrasaur.

"There's my servant now," she announces, gesturing towards you as you break through the crowd of onlookers. "They get to ride in the back."

"Ooh," goes the crowd. You roll your eyes, throw a satchel at Mistic's face, and find some pleasure in their laughter when she falls on her rump.

"They carry 20 stacks each," you say. "I don't know your level so I didn't bother with equipment."

She stares at the bag, which lays now in her lap. "How did someone as clumsy as you learn to play the system so well?"

You think she may be insulting you.

What have you to say to that?

>_

Lunchmeataphobia (Think! It Ain't Illegal Yet)

I could be hurtful, I could be purple, I could be anything you like

Gotta lose yourself in the music,
the moment,
you own it,
you bettern never let it go(go)

"I don't know. How did someone so ****** draw such a loving crowd?"

The cursing filter scrambles your words, but a gasp ripples through the crowd regardless. Someone in the back calls, 'Oh no you didn't!'.

Then, silence.

Just when you fear Mistic took that personally, she gives a piggish little snort-laugh and slings the satchel over her shoulder.

"I like you, Jitters. I like you. Now get on the Ostrasaur, you silly ****—adventure awaits!"

She jumps into the saddle. The Ostrasaur rears, scattering newbies, and you scramble up its side.

"We can't port to the exact mission location," Mistic says. You trot down the road, passing other wealthy players and their equally impressive mounts. "Which route to the Netherwood do you wanna take? Fast, or exciting?"

"Define 'exciting'."

Mistic just chuckles. That's promising.

>_

I had the time of my life, and i've never felt this way before

It's a dark
twisted road we are on
and we all
have to walk it alone

"You know what? I'm up for a challenge. Let's expand our horizons and grow as people, etcetera." You regret this already. "Exciting!"

"'Atta sidekick!"

Mistic snaps the reins. You rocket out of town, past startled players and stone-faced AI sentries, into the sun-kissed overworld.

"We're going the long way 'round," Mistic says, over the rush of wind in your ears. "Chances of running into that challenge are high, high, high. Ever fought on 'saurback before?"

"I've never even steered one!"

"OK, how's your ACCURACY?" The Ostrasaur leaps a ledge. You cling to Mistic like—no, because your life depends on it. The ground's but a blur of brown and green beneath you. "Actually, what's your whole build like?"

"Can't exactly bring up the numbers while I'm plastered to you."

"Just gimme a rough idea what you're like!"

>_

One potato, two potato, three potato, four

Moonshot, Woodstock, Watergate, punk rock

SpoilerShow

these suggestions were fun to interpret :D

"I'm more focused on Crafting this incarnation," you admit. "I've been experimenting with buffed potatoes, and it's turning out pretty well!"

"Huh," says Mistic. "So you're the one who was handing those out in the Tower. Cool. Guess you're taking the merchant route this playthrough?"

You nod emphatically. Then you remember she can't see you, and add, "Uh-huh."

"So your combat attributes suck."

"Yes. I mean, no! Let me finish!" You'd bop her on the head if it didn't mean letting go. "I've got a handle on Elemental Magic, too. I unlocked the Firestarter title last week IGT, and Water Gate was the first elemental technique I ever maxed out."

"Sweetos. You won't be as useless as I thought."

You summon your minimap and watch the marker representing you drift toward the one labeled NETHERWOOD, passing ponds and trees and player structures in progress.

When you finally burst through the underbrush, you find NETHERWOOD_ENTRANCE_001 deserted. "Huh," Mistic says. She brings the Ostrasaur to a careful trot. "This must be an unpopular quest."

"I guess..."

>_

3, hundred, megabytes, of hard drive capacity

na na na na na come on

I'm not your hero, but that doesn't mean
that I wasn't brave

"Or maybe it's so popular the world's lagging? Sometimes I feel like the NA servers are chuggin' along on 300MB of RAM."

You chuckle uneasily. You get all freaked out whenever someone points out flaws in the game—it's kind of all you have.

"Do you figure we entered an INSTANCE?"

"Could be."

Mistic pulls up the quest details in a window too small for both of you to read at once. You lean over her shoulder for a better look. She makes a disgruntled noise and nudges you with her elbow, forcing you back.

"I feel like we gotta trigger an event or something. The quest details are fuzzy as ****, but I think that's on purpose. It's an exploration thing."

A moment's hesitation.

"Say, let me off the 'saur. We can search faster if we split up." You shrug at her raised eyebrow. "It's not like we're in a horror movie."

"We're not in a horror flick, but I think we are in an INSTANCE DUNGEON after all. Says so right here." She calls up her minimap. "No-one'll be around to help if you run into trouble."

"That's fine. I've done a lot of solo stuff."

"For whatever reason, I'm not surprised." She brings the Ostrasaur to a stop, and you slide from the saddle. "Alright, sidekick. Ping me when you find the thing."

"Will do."

You give a mock-salute and wander off the path. Mistic and her mount head in the opposite direction. You search, and search, and search for (in-game) hours...

>_

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
(Turn and face the strange)

...And for (real-life) hours...