Post making contest 4.0

h‎t‎t‎p‎://stuffpoint.com/cats/image/305333-cats-cute-kitty.jpg

h‎t‎t‎p‎://stuffpoint.com/cats/image/305333-cats-cute-kitty.jpg

SpoilerShow

flaps::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: 天 viz cloud 3008 b's gous bat doc a cod bakkkkkkkh...

天

小明喜欢跑步。

happy plant musings blankly jump!
phj 4 3 2 1 0 nlom ys'::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: dynamo, lllls?
SO YOU'LL SHOUT: YAMATO UP OINK LOT!
tap a toad a shout: (all insanity is loon-a-tick) tap on tau!
uhhh 7654 had has magma happy jump musings, guvvvvvvvvv?
Volvo, Akumu's OP; fatal combat 1 top plz?
zak [u] happy, Zoostuck 3, commando uf

h‎t‎t‎p‎://stuffpoint.com/cats/image/305333-cats-cute-kitty.jpg

This post passes rules 1 and 2.

h‎t‎t‎p‎://stuffpoint.com/cats/image/305333-cats-cute-kitty.jpg

This post passes no rules.

SpoilerShow

flaps::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: 天 viz cloud 3008 b's gous bat doc a cod bakkkkkkkh...

天

小明喜欢跑步。

happy plant musings blankly jump!
phj 4 3 2 1 0 nlom ys'::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: dynamo, lllls?
SO YOU'LL SHOUT: YAMATO UP OINK LOT!
tap a toad a shout: (all insanity is loon-a-tick) tap on tau!
uhhh 7654 had has magma happy jump musings, guvvvvvvvvv?
Volvo, Akumu's OP; fatal combat 1 top plz?
zak [u] happy, Zoostuck 3, commando uf

This post passes rules 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5! Well, actually it passes rules 5, 2, 3, 4 and 5, but whatever - infodump incoming...

Just click this link to go to a copy of my spreadsheet, where all will be revealed. Hopefully.

The actual rules:

#1: if the previous non-judgement post failed x rules, the post must pass rule x of set post number mod 34.
#2: if n is the non-zero integer occurring most recently in a post this round, the post must pass rule 2 of set n mod 34.
#3: if the post was made t minutes after the previous, it must pass rule 3 of set t+1 mod 34. (with 0 mod 34 being set 34)
#4: if the number of times rule 3 has been failed so far this round is y, this post must pass rule 4 of set y+1 mod 34. (with 0 mod 34 being set 34)
#5: if the number of rule passes so far this round (as of the moment this particular judgement is made) is z, the post must pass rule 5 of set z mod 34.

fɔɹˈtin

an important message from sruixan:

Well either I talk really fast or ridciulously slowly I don't seem to have a middle gear so I guess I can just do the really aslo talking for now. I'm quite tired I guess for now. urgh yeah oh yeah oh yes your bloody post so what was the problem with your post the one where we had the argument whether it was going to pass yeah no that was fun because of course what that meant because it meant what that goes it meant the counter would be at one rule or another i had to get the judgements right for the first trhee rules before i could continue yeah its great and i could immediately tell you were bullshitting me yeah i'm sure thats a true fact i just don't think it's a relevant fact. as i was scrolling up i remembered a fun quwerks thing what was the fun querks thing. well well again i had to get the google translate and dictionary out. oh yeah the time that i asked querks i had to ask what the rules hell rules he had made it passed at the time it had got the rules hell rules this number had to pass both my rules 3 and my rules 5 ah but querks they really saved the day and my sleep schedule because i'll actually be able to go to bed at 2 am it's amazing it could have been 2 hours ago if i'd been allowed a cat post. i know. in my heart i can though, i mean look at that kitty how could you possibly say no to that kitty it's just pleading look at its tiny little paws. i'm now going to check my neko atsume cats hold on. yeah which was that. oh what was the other tehre was another fun thing that happened oh yeah the first mistake when i woke up this morning was oh shit i've done a bad. which one was that. fortunately it only affected that post and the next one it all evened out. 7457. was that i said it passed rules 1 and 2 failed rule 1. it was teh fucking delay rule, yeah so i thought it had passed the delay rule but the number was in one of my judgement posts so it couldn't be counted but it still failed a different rule five so the next rule had to pass a different rule 1 which it still failed but the rule five something something i'm lost ix' rule one now the counter's abck to where it was and now i'm really lost sorry. Is there anything else I want to say I just want to expunge this from my memory. It was a bad idea. I believe it's 100% What i believe is you got the gist of it. Fortunately one of the bifurcation things cut in and saved me from that. If i evaluate them from 1 2 3 4 5 by the time it hits that rule its fine. There was definitely a judgement where I was happy enough to stop here you aren't paying attention anyway.

This post kinda passes rule 3.

g0m

g0m

This post passes rules 1, 2 and 5.

cats are weird dogs

我不会说汉语。

g0m

I want everybody to know that there are exactly three categories of animal:

1. Normal dogs
2. Weird dogs
3. Cats

Correctness is determined by chronology

Ix is a heretic.

I think you'll find that aks is the heretic. He uses the heathen letter. He forsakes our weird dogs. He probably doesn't even lubricate.

I want everybody to know that there are exactly three categories of animal:

1. Normal dogs
2. Weird dogs
   • Cats

Fixed that for you.

Now, now. There's no need to fight. There's so much we agree on.

Such as g0m

Kíeros's name has been struck from the Book of Life, and is sundered forever from the One True God who reigns over all the three types of animals of the earth.

I want everybody to know that there are exactly three categories of animal:

1. Normal dogs
2. Weird dogs
3. The other weird dog

This list is completely correct now.

Passes rule 2

cats are weird dogs

Passes no rules

我不会说汉语。

Passes rule 2

g0m

Passes rule 2

I want everybody to know that there are exactly three categories of animal:

1. Normal dogs
2. Weird dogs
3. Cats

Passes rule 1

Correctness is determined by chronology

Passes none of the rules

Ix is a heretic.

Passes none of the rules

I think you'll find that aks is the heretic. He uses the heathen letter. He forsakes our weird dogs. He probably doesn't even lubricate.

Passes none of the rules

I want everybody to know that there are exactly three categories of animal:

1. Normal dogs
2. Weird dogs
   • Cats

Fixed that for you.

Passes none of the rules

Now, now. There's no need to fight. There's so much we agree on.

Such as g0m

Passes none of the rules