Superego

I'm very sorry for your loss.

It's completely understandable that you're not ready to get back to this yet. I'm sure it must be very hard for you right now.

Take whatever time you need, we can wait. I hope your journey through grief is a relatively smooth one.

Condolences, take all the time you need.

My condolences as well. It sucks when you lose someone important to you.

Thanks for the patience. Hope this makes up for it.

>Then step back, and take a rest.



It's true. After high school you ran around with the wrong crowd. You wanted to take your mind off all your insecurities and past demons so you flung yourself into easy-but-kinda-dangerous relief. Sometimes you have to get your stress out dubiously legally.

But it was all hollow.



You tried therapy before. God, did you ever. But it always felt like the therapists kept blaming you. You get told you can't control how your brain is defective but then they turn around and tell you all your problems were caused by none other than yourself.

You stopped going to therapy.

Well, until now, you guess.

>Are you really going to try and make this OUR fault?!



"I can't help who I am."







"What? You have nothing to say to that?"



"Th...the basement...over there..."
"We'll have to walk around or jump or s-something...but..."
"Then let's hurry!"



-IM NOT LETTING YOU GO YET

Oh yeah?



...Back then, your dad saved you.

Now it's your turn to save them.

"Get out of here, guys. It's me she wants."
"What?!"



"We all n-need to go!"

This can't be happening again!

"Cherry...if she wants to do it, we can't force her not to."
"Ava...!"



"You go too."
"..."

This is a dangerous decision she's making all by herself.



"...No."
"I'm not letting you do this alone."
"Are you kidding me?!"



-hah
-yeah
-you cAnt dO anyTHinG on yoUr owN
-its true!



Ugh...

"Quin!"



"Look, this will all be useless if you guys don't get to the basement! So just go already!!"





Thank goodness.

You think you're ready.



You were getting tired of reliving these scenes over and over, anyway.

But...there's still...



"Why are you doing this...?"
"Having help...isn't a bad thing, you know."
-even helping someONE LIKE HER?



"Ugh, shut up!"
"Quin, no, you can't fight her!"
"You need to come up with a plan!"

>Then stop fighting. Fighting yourself will solve nothing and only make you more exhausted.



"A...plan?"
"At least, it worked for me."
"I just told her...what I thought I should do. Going forward. Because we can't keep being like this to ourselves. Because that's...why we're here."
"Going forward..."



-give me a good reason why i shouldnt kill you right now
-this is all futile isnt it
-youre stuck here with me now while the others escape
-you DIE RegArdleSS
-ill make it quick
"Uh...! I!!"



Going forward...?

"I...want to live! Because I...I always wanted to open my own craft shop!"
"I know that's unrealistic but...I've always liked that stuff! And even my coworkers at my old job encouraged me...!"
"I've been saving money..."



"I know it sounds corny but...I'd like for something to come from that dream."
"But in order to do that, I..."

You know what you have to say.

You're just not sure if you can live up to it.



"Quin...it's all right..."
"...I have to stop fighting with myself."
"It sounds impossible, and it probably is, but I have to start somewhere."



-keep going
"Sure! A lot of my problems are caused by my own shitty behavior!"
"But it doesn't mean I can't own up to that, right? That I can't look out for those shitty behaviors in the first place? That I can't develop a modicum of self-awareness?"
"That I can...forgive myself?"



"I...deserve better!"
"I can't keep living like this!"





-quin
-thank you



-and helen too
-thank you
-for being there for her
-not many are



-sorry about this mess
-youll wake up soon



















Where are you?

It'd be nice if it was reality...Failing that, the basement?

Welcome back! d(^^)b

> In a very dark place.

Oh dang this one is real good. Some real, real good art and animations. Especially the zippy line behind Quin's head! Thanks for all the effort and thought you put into this!

>The abyss. You're Louis Stone and wow you're thirsty

>That question is getting... increasingly hard to answer.

Whoa, big update!

> Did you finally escape? ^(nope.)

> Call out for help

>In a very dark place.



Oh, that's right. You were locked in the pantry.

>Call out for help



Good thing your mother found you x3.0urp.01 0frg e13c1.e3

>the basement?



"So...Helen and Quin won't be joining us."
"No."
"That's a shame."



"...Where's the doctor?"
"I dunno! He never came back after making me make that announcement."
"This place completely flipped around while we were waiting for you...just blink! And here we were. It was frightening..."
"You're telling me."
"C-could he...be fiddling with that...sw-switch?"
"Hell if I know! Last time I saw him he went through that creepy black door. Which is now no longer here. If it's his magic switch he's doing a hell of a job with it!"
"Can we please calm down?"
"Do we just wait here, or...?"

I couldn't be less ready honestly

>If you were to look for the switch yourselves, how would you even know where to go? It's an ever changing maze, you're honestly just as likely to find it staying where it's safe

Or put more concisely

>Is there even a point to searching?

Oh boy. Ohboyohboyohboyohboyohboyohboyohboy.

> Well, while you're waiting, maybe talk a bit about this whole ordeal? Like, how did you even find this guy?

>Does anywhere look like a switch-y sort of place?

> Honestly, is it really better to stay put? With the way things are going right now, standing still in one place likely isn't much better than moving around... at least if you're on the move, you're making an effort to actually do something instead of acting like sitting ducks!

>By Percy! There's a Wall with Suspicious Things on it! You should see what those are.

Sorry for the wait; life stuff, badbrains, and technical difficulties all conspire together against you sometimes.

>Is there even a point to searching?



"Y-yes there is! What if h-he's in t-trouble?! He could n-n-need us now...mmmore than ever!"
"Without him, h-h-how do we even get out of here?"
"We're in a group, too. If there's danger, we can help each other get out of it. Dr. Grey doesn't have this benefit."
"All the more reason to suspect something happened..."

>With the way things are going right now, standing still in one place likely isn't much better than moving around... at least if you're on the move, you're making an effort to actually do something instead of acting like sitting ducks!



"Well if he's lost, then I guess we should go get lost with him."
"Let's just be careful, okay?"



"I'm always careful."
"And yet you saying that instills a twinge of doubt deep in my soul."
"Oh, you wound me."

>Does anywhere look like a switch-y sort of place?



"D-do you see anything?"
"Not anything that looks like what we're after, necessarily...but didn't he say this simulation was programmed with an air of mystery in mind?"
"An investigation is in order!"
"Oh boy, check out Sherlock over here."

(PS: aside from poking around the current area, feel free to give suggestions for things the cast could find down here! It's a big open place, who KNOWS what's down here)

Papers on the desk? Time to SNOOP

> Let's take a gander at that big bulky object.

>What do the files on the desk say? Probably important info.

As for things to find...

>Wolves. Made out of glitches. And they look aggressive.
>A map of the simulation! Unfortunately it's updating in real time and... well...
>A giant tree with broken robots hanging off of it like fruit
>Just a giant panel full of switches. All of them unlabeled.
>Grey. Safe. Please goodness let him be safe.

>is that some more icky goop on the right? better check out the icky goop

> Be careful with the holes in the floor up ahead. You know, the ones that look like they open into this room's ceiling.

>you find a can of soft drink.

>What the heck is that stuff growing all over that desk?

and for stuff to find:
>Gravity: Be incorrect
>Hang on, did you just see... a color?

(Hi, I’m crossposting this everywhere Superego is hosted.)

Okay, so, as you’ve noticed, updates have been slowing to a crawl. And to be completely honest, it’s entirely my own fault, a problem completely different from any other issue I’ve been having right now. I’m still trying to reorganize my life a bit, I’m still trying to move to a new house and/or get a new job, but...

Well, funnily enough, the main issue here is that I never thought we’d be here. When I very first made Superego, it was an escape from my current life stresses...back in 2011. Eventually it more became an exploration of mental illness...but even then it was still a forum adventure. I never expected to actually still work on it enough to reach the ending. Forum adventures die, it’s what they do! My first one died...!

Normally I think of Big Events A and B, and use suggestions to get from A to B. This is what got me through the plot these seven years. But the further we go the fuzzier and vaguer my notes get, and now...the end of Chapter 04 was so fuzzy that I didn’t even know what characters were going into Chapter 05 until about a month before it started!

The next update has been scripted for weeks now, but this uncertainty of what’s going to happen after, or what it might lead into, is seriously paralyzing me. I have ADHD, and trying to start on updates is the hardest hurdle, doubly so when I don’t really know where they’re going (which is why a lot of shorter updates seem to take longer).

The purpose of this post is not to say I am going on hiatus--more like Superego is in stasis. I want to work on it, I want to finish it! But it’s really hard to find the enthusiasm when you don’t know what that end scenario looks like. (I know what the ENDING ending looks like...with no Big Event A and B to help me get there.) I’ve been putting this post off because I didn’t want to disappoint you guys, but now I’m confronting it. I need time to step back and brainstorm and evaluate where Chapter 05 is going before I can seriously commit to drawing it. Updates may happen, but they will be sporadic. Sorry for my brain.

In the meantime, you can ask any Superego question you may have at my Tumblr. Or, you can follow me on Twitter if you like me enough to have my sporadic posts show up on your timeline.

I’m also trying to be more active on Twitch, including art streams! When I start working on Superego again, I’d like to stream the panels, because it helps me focus on getting the art done. In terms of video games I usually go for games that are nostalgic for me that I’d like to show to an audience.

Finally, if you just want more Jovian content, I do a tabletop podcast with my friends.

Hi all, it's a new year so I figure I might as well update you on where Superego's heading.

I've been in an emotional funk recently; the end of the year was rough on me, but the gears are finally starting to turn again. I can't promise anything YET, but I'm much more confident about the story today than I was a week ago.

However! I have some good news and bad news! Well it's more like goodbad news? I bought a condo! I'm finally moving out, hooray! But because of that move, work on Superego is going to get interrupted more likely than not thanks to all the preparations and work I have to do now. I'm expecting to be fully settled in the spring, but it could be later...

It's a very strange feeling. Superego was made while I was a college student, after a particularly nasty relationship ended in my life. I was feeling all kinds of stressed out so I made a story to explore some equally stressed out folks. Nowadays, I'm very far from the place I was in then, but at the same time, I feel like I need to finish what I started--almost like I'm closing the book on that chapter of my life.

So I can't promise a comeback date or anything, but rest assured Superego is alive creatively.

Thank you again for all your support throughout the years.

P.S. If for some reason you're an old enough fan that you remember my first forum adventure, you might like where this Tumblr tag of mine has been heading recently. Just drawing some characters to get the creative juices flowing again!