The Further Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Originally posted on MSPA by Xander.

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Weld self.

Originally posted on MSPA by zeddidragon.

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Lay down and start applying salt and ketchup on your person. It'd be pointless to be eaten by dragons, and it's even more pointless to make yourself more tasty for dragons that aren't there.

Originally posted on MSPA by Leylite.

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Nopor Puss with green hair: Believe that Nopor Puss is a time-displaced copy of you who time-travelled to this location from the future, and therefore already knows everything that will happen for a while, since you have no reason to. Such a person would already know what you're thinking and everything you're going to do, so you must tell yourself to do everything you're planning on doing.

Whatever: Take out your waffle iron and look for a wall outlet so you can make pancakes.

Originally posted on MSPA by Dfaran.

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>Play chess with the dragons. Make a chess checkers set out of water.

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

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If you look down, you'll see a copy of Carl Sagan's "Demon Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark", because it has no reason to be there. Find the section which talks about an invisible, incorporeal, heatless-fire-breathing, floating, soundless dragon. After reading it, said dragon suddenly doesn't exist, just like the other invisible dragons that don't exist! However, since it is also incorporeal and breathes heatless fire, it should easily not destroy the other dragons that also aren't there.

You look down and find the book.



Reading through it - since you have no reason to read while being attacked by invisible dragons - you come to the section about an invisible, incorporeal, heatless-fire-breathing, floating, soundless dragon.



The IIHFBFS Dragon has not entered the battle! It does not destroy the Invisible Dragons, but you believe that it has joined in on their side.

Nopor Puss' turn is over. It is now Nopor Puss' turn.

Summon underpants.

You don't know any spells to summon underpants! So, of course, you waste your next turn trying to cast one.



The Invisible Dragons and IIHFBFS Dragon do not attack, because they do not exist!

It is now Whatever's turn.

Weld self.

That sounds pretty random! Too bad you don't have a blowtorch.



The Nopor Pusses therefore pretend you have welded yourself, because they have no reason to.

It is Nopor Puss' turn again.

Lay down and start applying salt and ketchup on your person. It'd be pointless to be eaten by dragons, and it's even more pointless to make yourself more tasty for dragons that aren't there.

Nopor Puss applies salt and ketchup to Nopor Puss!



However, he has gotten confused and applied them to the other Nopor Puss.



Nopor Puss is disappointed that he has not been eaten by dragons.

Nopor Puss with green hair: Believe that Nopor Puss is a time-displaced copy of you who time-travelled to this location from the future, and therefore already knows everything that will happen for a while, since you have no reason to. Such a person would already know what you're thinking and everything you're going to do, so you must tell yourself to do everything you're planning on doing.

Nopor Puss tells Nopor Puss his pointless plan for getting out of this situation, assuming that the other Nopor Puss already knows it.

This has no effect whatsoever, and therefore both of you regard it as a complete success!

Whatever: Take out your waffle iron and look for a wall outlet so you can make pancakes.

Now that sounds random! Whatever wanders off from the battle that isn't actually happening so he can look for a wall outlet in a forest.



Wait, who's this guy? He looks familiar somehow.

>Play chess with the dragons. Make a chess checkers set out of water.

Ignoring Whatever's exit, Nopor Puss makes a checkers set out of water.



He then challenges the invisible dragons to chess, since he doesn't have a usable chess set.



Some turns later, he loses.



Since nothing was riding on the outcome of the battle, Nopor Puss joins the side of the dragons!



You are now Nopor Puss. You are fighting Nopor Puss. What will you do?

Originally posted on MSPA by Anomaly.

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> Ultimate dance-off.

Since neither of you know how to dance.

Originally posted on MSPA by zeddidragon.

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Headbutting is the most pointless of combat techniques.

>Headbutt eachothers' heads.

Originally posted on MSPA by Xander.

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Surrender. At the same time.

Originally posted on MSPA by Leylite.

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Ha ha, yes! This was an inevitable battle!

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Nopor Puss: Pointlessly decide to not drink the potion next to you, since it could be helpful.

Nopor Puss: Pointlessly decide to try to drink an object next to you, since there isn't one.

Nopor Puss: Smash the potion next to you on the ground into smithereens so it is unusable, then give it to your opponent, since it's pointless to give your opponent something that's useless.

Nopor Puss: Punch the air five feet in front of Nopor Puss, since that should accomplish precisely squat.

Nopor Puss: Compose your own ode to tulips, then sing it in A minor.

Nopor Puss: Challenge Nopor Puss to a thumb war, then choose scissors as your throw since you have no reason to do that.

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Whatever: Flip a coin, then ignore the result and say "..." to the nearest tree.

Originally posted on MSPA by Dfaran.

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>Nopor Puss: Plead for your life, not that it's being threatened in any way or anything.
>Nopor Puss: Enjoy a refreshing sip of lake water.

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

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>charades battle

You decide to challenge your other self to charades.



You receive your phrase. Don't ask me where you got it from.



You then punch your other self in the face, because that has nothing to do with the phrase you're trying to convey.



Nopor Puss makes his guess. Of course, he makes a guess that he has no reason to think of as your phrase.



Nopor Puss is correct! He receives one point! It is added to the Point Meter, because apparently being good at charades has a point.

> Ultimate dance-off.

Since neither of you know how to dance.

What are you talking about, both of you know how to dance quite well.



Don't you remember that magnificent jig you performed some time ago when nobody was watching?



Of course, there's no reason for you to completely ignore everything you know about dancing, so that's what you do.



For instance, dancing doesn't involve scaring your partner off by throwing a shovel on them, or jumping on them if they're an inanimate object that can't possibly catch you.

Headbutting is the most pointless of combat techniques.

>Headbutt eachothers' heads.

You both come to the conclusion that a headbutt is a pointless method of attack, so you're both going to do it.



That was pointlessly painful for both of you.

Surrender. At the same time.

You both surrender. The battle is now over; there is no hostility between you.



Of course, this means there's no reason for you to start fighting again, so you do.

Nopor Puss: Pointlessly decide to not drink the potion next to you, since it could be helpful.

Good idea! You don't drink it. Nothing happens.

Nopor Puss: Pointlessly decide to try to drink an object next to you, since there isn't one.

Seeing your other self not drink something, you counter by drinking something that isn't there. This has no effect.

Nopor Puss: Smash the potion next to you on the ground into smithereens so it is unusable, then give it to your opponent, since it's pointless to give your opponent something that's useless.

You smash the potion!



Or try to. It seems the bottle is indestructible.



Well, giving your opponent something useful is more pointless than giving them something useless anyways. You hand the potion to Nopor Puss.

Nopor Puss: Punch the air five feet in front of Nopor Puss, since that should accomplish precisely squat.

You attempt to punch the air five feet in front of yourself, but since your arms aren't five feet long, this is impossible.



So of course, you keep attempting to do it.

Nopor Puss: Compose your own ode to tulips, then sing it in A minor.

Meanwhile, the other Nopor Puss starts singing the ode to tulips he has just composed.



He gets hit by his doppelganger, who is still attempting to hit the air five feet in front of himself.

Nopor Puss: Challenge Nopor Puss to a thumb war, then choose scissors as your throw since you have no reason to do that.

In response, Nopor Puss challenges Nopor Puss to a thumb war!



Nopor Puss starts off the thumb war by throwing Scissors!



And in response, Nopor Puss throws Paper.



Well, drat! Nopor Puss wins!

Whatever: Flip a coin, then ignore the result and say "..." to the nearest tree.

Whatever randomly decides to flip a coin.



It lands heads, but he doesn't pay any attention to it and talks to a tree instead.



Somehow, this draws the stranger's attention!



The stranger seems annoyed by how you're treating the tree.



And he commands it to attack you? Wow, that's really random! You should hang out with this guy more!

>Nopor Puss: Plead for your life, not that it's being threatened in any way or anything.

Since Nopor Puss currently has the upper hand (apparently), he pleads with Nopor Puss for his life.



Nopor Puss realizes that he could win a battle he would otherwise lose, which might have a point of some sort.



So he responds to the plea by surrendering and joining Nopor Puss' party!

>Nopor Puss: Enjoy a refreshing sip of lake water.

With that settled, you decide to drink some water from the oddly-colored lake.



Well. That's disappointing. It's delicious and doesn't seem to have any ill effects at all!



And suddenly, Nopor Puss has left your party without warning and Dr. N. Seyn has rejoined. You see no reason to accept this strange occurrence without question, so of course that's what you do.

What will you do next?

Originally posted on MSPA by Plet53.

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>PUNCH.
EVERYTHING

Originally posted on MSPA by Xander.

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Wail like a fish and throw Dr. N Seyn in the cave.

Originally posted on MSPA by Fakeimposter.

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Nopor Puss: Marry Nopor Puss
Dr N: Conduct the wedding ceremony! You have a medical degree somehow and that PRACTICALLY makes you a priest. And this will be the best wedding, full of romantic explosions and insane rants...

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

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>PUNCH.
EVERYTHING

Good idea! It's really random to punch absolutely everything when only a tree is attacking you!



You punch the guy who sent the tree after you.



He doesn't seem pleased.



He decides to run off. As he does, the tree calms down.



You punch it anyways. There's a lot of everything to punch, after all!

Wail like a fish and throw Dr. N Seyn in the cave.

You wail like a fish. This is very pointless!



Then you throw Dr. N. Seyn into the cave, since there's no reason to do that.



Hey, who's that guy? And why does he seem to be in such a hurry?



Well, whoever he is, he's probably not feeling too great right now.

Nopor Puss: Marry Nopor Puss

You ask the Nopor Puss who isn't around any more to marry you.



You don't hear an answer. So obviously, there's no reason to think he agreed!

Dr N: Conduct the wedding ceremony! You have a medical degree somehow and that PRACTICALLY makes you a priest. And this will be the best wedding, full of romantic explosions and insane rants...

Dr. N. Seyn begins preparing the wedding ceremony.



Whatever arrives just in time to be made best man, since there's no reason to ask your biggest rival to be your best man.



That other guy is still unconscious and you have no idea who he is.



So clearly it's pointless to make him the Maid of Honor!



The ceremony is about to begin! But you're worried that it will go off perfectly. What can you do to sabotage the wedding?

Originally posted on MSPA by Chwoka.

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Nothing. Just sit there, stock still, and do nothing, after all this setting up.

Originally posted on MSPA by ~ATH.

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Get married! It's pointless to sabotage a wedding by getting married.

Originally posted on MSPA by Xander.

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Eat the bride.

Originally posted on MSPA by zeddidragon.

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Random: Escape with the bride.

Originally posted on MSPA by Leylite.

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Whatever: Hold a hot dog eating contest.

Nopor Puss: Just walk off and get lost. There would be an incredible point to having a spouse be supportive of you and having a marriage for tax purposes, so if you just get lost and pointlessly avoid all your friends, you should be able to avoid accomplishing anything useful.

Nopor Puss: But make sure to take the bride with you while you're trying to run away from the bride, or else you might accidentally succeed.

Originally posted on MSPA by Epamynondas.

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>Oppose the marriage between Whatever and The Maid Of Honor, arguing that Dr. N Seyn owes you five bucks.

Originally posted on MSPA by Chwoka.

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Take the marriage with you, but never let it proceed.

Originally posted on MSPA by Dalmationer.

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> decide to marry the lake instead.

Originally posted on MSPA by CheeseDeluxe.

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I hope you do realize I admire you, Fogel.

>Nopor Puss: See that shovel? See your head?

...see what I mean?

Originally posted on MSPA by Chwoka.

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Take the marriage with you, but never let it proceed.

> decide to marry the lake instead.

Combine these and take the lake with you.