Zoostuck 2

Holland Scholland

Yes, of course. A war between Holland and Scholland will go almost totally unnoticed. There is absolutely nothing of importance in either country, and most people don't even know Scholland exists. It will meet your needs perfectly...

Except that both nations don't use petroleum at all. They've completely replaced it in all their cars and synthetics.

Perhaps you're thinking too small-scale. Perhaps a larger war is in order - it simply needs to be one that appears as though it would have happened regardless, and one that could not possibly serve anyone's needs. It would be even better if it were a confusing war that no one could understand. Something like... like...

the universe and time

Yes, perfect. A war between the universe and time would be beyond the comprehension of most mortals. Not you, admittedly, and you are the main individual whose suspicions you do not wish to raise. Fortunately, you are already devising an ingenious solution to this problem, because you work fast.

You are now John Egbert, except you haven't named yourself yet because you are the past version and you haven't gotten to the point in the plan where you do that. Someone seems to have instigated a war between the universe and time. What do you intend to do about this?