Zoostuck 2

Bribe them with cigarettes, you know what brand

You do? You don't remember any singularities of complexity wanting any brand of cigarettes, you certainly don't. Unless it's part of a needlessly complex plan, but you don't have one that involves cigarettes at all.

Wait, actually, you do have some cigarettes left over from a needlessly complex plan. Well, time to make use of them.

Give them the P-Funk, they want to get funked up

You start handing out your P-Funk brand cigarettes to the other singularities in exchange for your support, and before you know it your proposal passes!

Wait, wait, hang on a second. There was a vote on an amendment while you were handing out bribes, you missed it. What was it for?

begin zoostuck alternate universe intermission

Oh no. Not that. Anything but that.

You are now the protagonist of the Zoostuck Alternate Universe Intermission, and you are not standing for this.

Zoostuck 2 is too long and confusing already and your alternate universe intermission isn't helping matters, but fortunately you're in the perfect position to actually get things done by not being part of the incredibly convoluted main universe.

So just who are you, anyways?