Zoostuck 2

Kill yourself

That's what you're planning to do! But the hard part is leaving no trace of your time-displaced body. You kind of have to set that up before you actually die.

stop breathing

and then maybe breathe a bit because whew that was pretty close!

You decide to halt your breathing processes, then restart them just before you die as you realize you haven't set anything up for disposal. Ugh, all this bad idea radiation pointed at you must be having ill effects. You'll need a different plan, preferably one that doesn't require moving much. You're understandably short of breath.

become telekinetic

You attempt to develop telekinesis, and fail. That must be another consequence of the bad idea ray. Couldn't you at least have a bad idea that's productive in some way?

become just regular kinetic and locomote by bouncing off of things like a pinball

Ah, perfect. That's a bad idea you can actually do. Perhaps your body will even continue to bounce after you exhaust the last of your energy. You call forth what strength you have remaining and start to bounce around.

You are now Zoosmell Pooplord. You are not yet thirteen years old and so you cannot yet ask your father about the origins of your name. You have not yet prevented the rewriting of the universe, nor have you been given false memories and flung into the past to get you out of the way of another attempt to rewrite the universe, nor have you run over a paleontologist with a time-traveling car, nor have you been lured to Paradox Space in order to have the webcomic that describes the new universe imprinted onto your mind.

Instead you're just being a stupid kid while some weirdo is bouncing around all over everywhere.

What are you going to do about this?