Zoostuck 2

take detailed inventory of your own contents

You contain proteins, various metals, and... something you can't identify, you think it's some kind of crazy cosmic stuff. You suppose there was something really potent about either the egg or the bucket.

Regardless, whatever this crazy cosmic stuff is, it's powerful. You feel like you could do almost anything, despite being inanimate. With this kind of power at your disposal, you have nothing to fear from this child. With the merest thought, you can simply...

Kill him.

You release a charge of the strange cosmic energy and knock the child away. How pathetic...

Wait. He's getting up? He survived that? Impossible!

You are now Zoosmell Pooplord, and you feel weird. Specifically, you feel like you were blasted by cosmic energy from your omelet and only survived because an entity with an extremely convoluted master plan intends to use you to recreate the universe so the webcomic you just plotted out can exist.

So what are you going to do?