Zoostuck 2

Become the player.

Well, that's a thought. You're not exactly big on solving puzzles, but at least it might help you pass the time until you have a better idea.

You head through the open door into the next room and... OH WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SOMEONE'S IDEA OF A JOKE.

There's a bunch of holy texts on the table! They're all open to different verses, but who cares, it's painful to you to be around them. There is no way you're solving this stupid puzzle. Maybe you should just head back through the portal...

Oh, great. The door closed behind you. This was a dumb idea. Now you've got to somehow figure this puzzle out without melting your eyes by trying to read the holy words. Man, you really hate puzzles.

You are now the guy who owns the mansion beyond time and space. You hired a bunch of gangsters to protect it for you, but now they're getting in a fight with a rival gang and also a bunch of detectives from back when time and space existed.

You've been watching the whole thing unfold, of course, and as you watch everyone stumble around like idiots, one question lingers on your mind.

Just who the hell are you, anyways?