Zoostuck 2

breaking the third wall causes the third inventory slot to become heavier

This is correct, but you have no idea that this is the effect because you have no concept of an inventory. Anyways, you're in a dead guy's inventory, so what does it matter?

In any case, you break down the third wall and an idea strikes you for the next update. This update features Enemy, who is invading the land of Featurelesswhitevoidia and terrorizing its Sentient Beings.

Except that Enemy is actually imaginary (well of course he is, he only exists in your mind, but you mean imaginary within the context of the story) and also the world of Featurelesswhitevoidia is a stage and Enemy plays all the roles. Except for the Sentient Beings, which is why he's trying to get rid of them.

However, Enemy is trying to make sure that the rest of his roles, which are all him and all imaginary, don't realize that he's imaginary. He also doesn't want the Sentient Beings to find out because that would reveal his weakness, but long term he's aiming to destroy them anyways.

You are now Enemy, and you have a problem. Everyone in your imaginary world is a wizard except for you. You're a comedian and you're in charge of the space program. Your job is to put a man on the moon, but you've run into a small snag: during your routine, you made fun of everyone else's problems and now a bunch of secretly imaginary wizards who are also you are after you.

Fortunately, you have one chance to escape this. A magical fairy, who is also secretly imaginary and also you explained that you're ugly, stupid, and smell bad but she's granting you the chance to fix two of those three problems. Obviously this will allow you to escape the wrath of the imaginary wizards and get back to planning a ridiculous way to put someone on the moon, which will somehow help you destroy these pesky Sentient Beings once and for all.

So which two problems will you ask her to fix?