Zoostuck 2

THIS IS A CONTRADICTION

As you set your mind to the task of uncovering what happened, the truth becomes clear: there was only one suggestion responsible for this contradiction-related breakdown!

Indeed, as the suggestion enters your mind and loudly proclaims its own contradictory nature, you find yourself starting to teeter on the brink of sanity. You stagger around, desperate to remove the offending suggestion, and manage to knock yourself out, injuring your hoof in the process.

You awaken later, your mind free of the suggestion. You know who the song-killer is. But they lie beyond your reach, beyond the fourth wall.

And they may yet strike again.

Really, you were lucky to get out of that with only a hoof wound.

You are now a former webcomic artist. You feel weird because you vaguely remember ascending to a higher existence after having a really great idea for a webcomic and then being pushed down an infinite metaphysical stairway for eternity.

Except that's nonsense, because you never did anything like that. You haven't even had a webcomic in years. You've been too busy working as a chef in Paradox Space (you aren't entirely clear on where that is but you've been there for as long as you can remember), specializing in the preparation of ridiculously dangerous omelets.

Heck, you can't even remember the last time you checked your own site. You decide to do that just out of curiosity, since you're on break right now.

You open your browser and find a comic about terrifying monsters arising from the Atlantic Ocean fighting girls who had their brains surgically inserted into monster trucks, only it's a bunch of pictures of people you don't know. Looking back through the archives, it seems really complex and nothing at all like the masterpiece I would have created were it not for that ridiculously-named child and the tone changes repeatedly throughout the whole thing. At first it looks like some kind of romantic comedy, then it's a tragedy, then it's a mystery, now it seems to be some kind of sci-fi thriller? And that's just looking through the last dozen updates.

The weirdest thing is that whoever's making this comic is pretending to be you! They've even taken over your account on the forum somehow. You should probably do something about this, but on the other hand, this comic seems pretty popular and it is a pale mockery of the true art I would produce and you don't have any idea who could be handling this impersonation so smoothly.

Fortunately, you know just the person to help you uncover this mystery: your pal Ryan North. There's just two problems. First, your break isn't going to last very long. And second, sending messages out of Paradox Space is really expensive. You'd need several years' salary to afford it.

So how are you going to get a message to Ryan North asking him to find out who's updating this mysterious webcomic on your site?