Zoostuck 2

Nutrition.

Oh, of course! Before you can unsolve this puzzle so you can solve it, you're going to need food. Man, you were so excited about this whole webcomic idea that you skipped breakfast!

But where are you going to find food in a puzzle room?

Fight the man! FIGHT the man!!

Wait a minute, what are you thinking? You're using a seriously limited definition of food, a definition arbitrarily set by an oppressive society. Well screw that! From now on, food is what you say it is, and you say this weird puzzle mechanism is food! You start eating it immediately.

Oh. Apparently that activated it or something? You aren't sure, but you feel like you're jumping ahead in time...

You are now Mebenezer Hooge, an evil wizard. You reanimated a dead guy as a squirrel and made him your slave for kicks. You also cast a spell teleporting some weirdo to the end of the crazy puzzle rooms he has to solve as part of his job, you figure that should be evil in some way.

Anyways, while all these evil things you're doing are fun for their own sake, they also serve a grander purpose: Destroying Christmas. Seriously, you hate Christmas. All that peace and love, it's disgusting.

Unfortunately, you have run into two problems.

First of all, you aren't sure how it happened, but somewhere along the line all your magical artifacts and everything in your arsenal of evil weaponry became puns. For instance, you've got a Rocket-Propelled Grenade that asks you to pick a class and roll up a character, and a mystical staff that holds meetings every Tuesday. This doesn't actually interfere with anything's functionality, but it's kind of embarrassing when you confront the forces of good.

The second problem is the spirits. As explained above, you hate Christmas, so every year three spirits show up and try to get you to change your ways. Except this year, there's been some kind of mixup and you're being visited by thirty-three spirits. All of them trying to teach you a different valuable lesson. It makes you sick.

Right now, you're being visited by the Spirit of A Sentient Being. Apparently he was a hero from some other realm and he keeps going on about his life story, how there's some guy called Enemy hiding out in a place called Fortress and you need to help him get past its defenses. Ha, as if.

Obviously you can't let this spirit push you around. What are you going to do to him?