Zoostuck 2

Performance-enhancing drugs, and lots of them

You're already dangerously close to an overdose, you have been since Page 2! Geez, all these drugs must be affecting your memory if you couldn't remember that, you really shouldn't have more.

As you reflect on this, the killer pumpkin floats closer and the velociraptor bursts through the door. Well, this isn't going to be easy.

> side with the velociraptor

Caught between a rock and a hard place, or more accurately between a gourd and a dinosaur, you decide to take sides. Using your knowledge of dinosaur language, you inform the velociraptor that the pumpkin is deadly and you will aid in its defeat in exchange for safe passage out of this studio. The velociraptor agrees, and challenges the pumpkin. You stand by, ready to assist as best you can.

You are now a formerly-dead squirrel, trapped in the past. Somehow you are receiving visions from the far future, which are of more interest to you than the rift in spacetime that's dropping garbage all over everywhere while some kid and a spider futilely attempt to stop it.

You have just witnessed a vision of a paleontologist and a velociraptor challenging a magically animated killer pumpkin to a duel. You are now seeing another vision which informs you that this will lead to a terrible fate: a world in which everyone is happy and maintains free will, there is no crime or war, nobody is being punished or tormented in order to maintain this civilization, the government does not suppress dissent in any way but rather welcomes debate and so society is constantly improving...

Wait a minute. Watching this through the vision, you are completely certain that this is somehow a disaster for the world. But you can't actually understand how. This dinosaur president really seems to have things under control and everything seems fine. Why exactly do you need to interfere with this sequence of events at all?