The Grand Battle S2G1! [Round Six: Eddelin City]

"Well, thanks for everything. I don't suppose you've got any advice to impart before I head down there?"

"Moo."

"Hmm. Wow, I'll have to think about that one for a bit." Arkal glanced down at the glowing hole. "When I have some more time, anyways. So, uh, what about advice for dealing with this prophet?"

"Moo!"

"It was a riddle? Well, why don't you just tell me what it means instead of getting all clever about it?"

"Moo."

"Oh. Rules of the trial, huh. Fair enough. All right, wish me luck, I'm going in."

"Moo!"

The cow turned, and fled the slaughterhouse. Now alone, Arkal leapt down the hole and landed on the moon.

It was a good deal smaller than he expected, just barely enough to hold his weight. Down below, he saw the Place, and outside its borders lay a dozen or so large piles of materials, and a few half-finished projects.

This was a craftsman's workshop, Arkal realized. The moon, and the land below, were a model. And in the middle of it all, an enormous stick was moving mountains.

"I can't assemble them just yet, I'm not done adjusting the model!"

The stick was also talking to itself.

"Yes, I know the model will be irrelevant in a few hours, all the more reason to finish it now! Besides, it's the only way I can properly test the launch angles."

The stick suddenly stopped pushing the mountain.

"Oh. Yes, I suppose that would work."

The stick began clicking excitedly as it turned away and walked towards a gleaming pile of scrap metal. Arkal immediately recognized it all as silver.

"What? I slipped into clicking? You didn't miss anything, I was just talking to myself. Yes, I know insect communication is inherently inferior, but until you take care of the moon you're going to have to put up with it. Now be quiet, I've got work to do."

The stick-creature dove into the pile of silver, and in seconds, a strange machine stood in place of the pile. The stick was standing beside a needlessly dramatic lever, rubbing its forelimbs together in glee.

"It is finished! Prepare to be amazed by Klaus Gepetrovich's latest wonder!"

Klaus clicked angrily.

"Of course you can be amazed without actually seeing it! Fine, fine, I'll turn it on now."

Klaus pulled the lever, and the machine made an assortment of mechanical noises before spitting out two man-sized silver figurines.

They looked like soldiers, and indeed, marched forward like soldiers. A few moments later, they were joined by an identical pair, then another, then another.

Klaus stood before them, and pointed at the model.

"This is my greatest work. Destroy it."

The silver soldiers obeyed, and pounded the mountains back into diamond, tore up the blue and green felt of the land and rivers, stomped towns underfoot, knocked down forests, and began stacking themselves up to reach the moon once everything else was torn down.

"Enough!" Klaus said. "The moon is fine. Those of you made from the left side, line up against the left wall. Those of you made from the right side, line up against the right wall. I'll send you off in just a moment."

The soldiers obediently began lining up, and continued to do so as they poured out of the machine. Klaus' attention wasn't on them, however; instead, he was working on reassembling the model.

It took him less than a minute to rearrange it all.

"There!" he said, sounding pleased. "The model is accurate, and the troops are ready to go... what? Commanders? Specific models? Ugh, fine, I'll put them together."

Klaus dove into another pile of silver, and this time emerged with just two more figurines. They were not dressed like soldiers, and carried no weapons; in fact, they looked like an ordinary man and woman.

"Wait, you want a third? Fine, fine, you two go and lead the left group. Start marching, everything's set up now."

The two figurines saluted, and walked over to the front of the line on the left wall. Then they marched right into the wall ahead of them, and vanished.

The line of soldiers behind them soon followed, and Arkal suddenly heard a strange noise.

He glanced below at the model. Tiny silver figurines were being flung through the air towards... a flying whale?

"There! Done!"

Arkal turned his eyes back towards Klaus. The third figurine was finished, and it was wearing an unpleasantly familiar suit of full-body armor. Arkal couldn't contain his rage at the sight.

"REINHARDT!"

Arkal leapt off the moon towards the silver figure of Reinhardt, knocking it to the floor. When he saw it unbroken, he picked it up and tried to smash the stick-thing with it.

The stick leapt back, surprised.

"Who are you? What are you doing? No, not you, there's an intruder in my workshop! I'll call you back later!"

"Do you have any idea what kind of monster you've made?" Arkal howled, flinging the silver Reinhardt at his foe. "Do you know what this man did, what he was proud of doing?"

"Not especially," the stick said, stepping aside. Reinhardt flew past him, and tore a gaping hole into the machine. "It was the Amalgam's request that I design a soldier who looked like him. They didn't go into detail about who he was."

Klaus hopped towards the machine and pulled Silver Reinhardt out. Somehow, he managed to fix the hole by the time his creation was free.

Silver Reinhardt faced Arkal and raised its sword.

"No need for that, child. Uncle Klaus can take care of himself. You have a Middle-Gem to steal, remember?"

Obediently, Silver Reinhardt marched over towards the right wall. Arkal was about to chase him, but Klaus ordered some soldiers to surround the smith.

They didn't last long, but they gave Reinhardt time to reach the wall. The soldiers started marching through after him, and before long, the model showed them flying through the air to the top of a mass of mountains.

Arkal had no idea what the soldiers were doing. He only knew that they had to be stopped. But he'd seen that Klaus could repair the machine in seconds. The stick would have to be dealt with first if Arkal was going to do anything more than slow the things down.

Just as he reached that conclusion, Arkal heard the familiar sounds of a craftsman at work behind him.

And they ended distressingly fast.

****

"You may be on to something," Kracht said. "Concepts often matter more than physical realities here in the Place. The idea of a library and the idea of a computer have a lot of similarities. We just need to work out how to bridge the gap."

the most straightforward way to proceed is this

we are using the library as a metaphor for a computer

so we extend that metaphor as far as we can

"You mean, treat the library as a literal computer?"

precisely

admittedly, I am somewhat out of my element here

the only computer I have seen was the one in Alpha Complex

but you, even before experiencing countless timelines, have seen more worlds than I

surely you have some knowledge

how would we access this data with a computer

"Well, they have slots built into them. You'd shove that into a slot, and the computer could access the files on it."

that seems simple enough to translate

Xadrez floated over to a bookshelf, and removed a small tome. He then placed the drive on the shelf.

Suddenly, the shelf tossed it back at him. The words "INSUFFICIENT MEMORY" flashed through his mind

I believe we are on the right track

the Library rejected it, but told me why

"insufficient memory"

"I think it's because what you did amounted, metaphorically, to trying to put the data directly on the drive," Kracht mused. "If that thing really has countless timelines' worth of memories, there must be an enormous amount of data on it. The Library doesn't have the capacity for it, not with all the books already on its shelves."

so we must either give the library more space

or clear up more of the space already in it

"We could clear the shelves, but there's no guarantee even that would be enough. Otherwise... I suppose we could build an extension?"

Xadrez was already knocking books to the floor.

I have neither the time nor the patience for construction

unless you would like to build an extension out of these books

or have a faster suggestion

Kracht glanced at the conch-phone.

"Well... the King could decree another building to be part of the Library. Preferably one with a lot of empty shelves, since I think that's the approximate representation of memory here."

then call him

I doubt he would care to talk to me again

or even consider my request

"I don't really know him that well, but I suppose it's worth a try."

Kracht picked up the phone and waited, as Xadrez knocked over another shelf of books.

"No answer."

Xadrez was about to respond, but his thought-words went unspoken as a man in heavy silver armor burst through the Library's roof and fell on a pile of books.

"I am Vandrel Reinhardt, the greatest human warlord to ever live!" the armor declared. "I claim the Middle-Gem for the human race!"

"Reinhardt died long ago," Kracht said. "This must be some sort of construct sent by the Amalgam."

such an inconvenience

can you deal with him yourself, or must I delay this work

Before Kracht could answer, a dozen silver soldiers fell through the hole in the roof.

"I think I'm going to need a little help, yeah," he said. "You know, if you're not too busy."

***

"I would have thought they'd do something by now," Hector mumbled. "I mean, I've showered, gotten dressed, eaten breakfast... or some meal, at least. Even if they were holding off for common courtesy, you'd think they'd have sent some assassins by now." He glanced hopefully at Emma. "Unless you stopped them before they even got close and didn't tell me about it?"

She shook her head.

"No assassins, I'm afraid."

"This isn't looking like much of a crisis point, then."

"It appears the other two tasks are higher priority," Huginn thought-said. "That suggests their capabilities in the Place are limited, at least for now."

"Then we should strike back instead of just waiting," Hector said. "If they don't have the humanpower to go for me and the moon and the Middle-Gem at the same time, they can't have that much in the way of defenses."

"Perhaps. Or perhaps they believe that defending the Silver City is more important than an offensive strike right now."

"If that's true, then they must think we have a chance of actually destroying it. Sounds like all the more reason to try."

"You would expose yourself to danger, my King. This is ill-advised."

"Is it? If Emma is one of three heroes, like you said, then we need her where the action is. And that's clearly not here..."

At that moment, the phone rang.

"I guess I'd better get that," Hector sighed.

Just as he stood up, there was a sound behind him. It sounded exactly like two man-sized chunks of silver striking whale blubber. Hector turned around, and saw two figurines picking themselves up from the floor.

"Sorry about that!" the male figurine said. "We didn't mean to disturb your conversation, we're just here to kill King Hector."

"Honey, really, you don't have to be so tactless about it," the woman said.

"Well, if this is the best Hoss can spare, I guess I don't have much to worry about. Sorry we put you to all this trouble for nothing, Emma..."

His voice trailed off as he saw the shock in Emma's eyes.

"Those are my parents," she said.

"Yes, Emma, and we have to say we're very disappointed in you," the silver Mr. Broderburg continued.

"But really, all you have to do is kill King Hector here and join the Amalgam, and we can forgive you," said Mrs. Broderburg.

There were a few more splats as a group of silver soldiers landed behind the pair.

"Or at least, stay out of the way of our troops," Mr. Broderburg said. "We're sure you've had a very rough childhood growing up without us, but trust us, everything will be fine once the King is dead and humanity reigns across the entire multiverse."

The phone stopped ringing.

***

It took Jen a moment to realize that the burning was coming from the stream of flame Cedric's sword was spewing at her. She leapt out of the way, and the blast struck the bottom of the crater instead.

"Looks like I'm not craterporting out if things get rough," Jen sighed, looking at the blaze.

"You can't escape, girl!" Cedric shouted. He thrust his sword forward and a fireball flew out from its tip.

Jen leapt to the side as the fireball struck the spot she had been standing in a moment ago. Now it was just flames.

"It doesn't matter how many times I miss," Cedric sneered, throwing another fireball. "Before long, there won't be anywhere for you to stand."

"Good point," Jen said. "I guess I can't just dodge forever."

She swung the Amalgam-blade as a sword of crystalline ice, and sliced through the incoming fireball. It turned to steam, giving her a brief chance to catch her breath.

She noticed that Cedric hadn't moved an inch from his post. If she could move him, either by force or by goading him away, she might be able to take care of the bomb, at least.

She wondered if she had a really powerful magnetic sword somewhere in her blade's infinite repertoire, but her thought was interrupted by a memory.


"Silver isn't drawn to magnets," it said."Not more than non-metals are, anyway."

"Thanks, science class," Jen grumbled, slicing through another fireball. "I don't suppose I paid enough attention to remember any properties of silver that might be useful here?"

"It's good at conducting heat and electricity," Muninn replied. "That's all I can find, I'm much better with traumatic or disappointing personal experiences than facts."

"Judging by how much this guy likes fire, heat's probably out. Maybe I can find a thunder sword."

Jen slashed at another fireball. At least Cedric wasn't coming up with any new tricks.

"You'd want lightning, not thunder. Thunder's just the noise, lightning is the actual electricity."

"Shut up, science class. I'm trying to look through an infinite number of swords right now."

"I know. Who do you think is keeping track of the ones you've already checked?"

"Found one!"

Jen slashed through the next fireball, and quickly made her next swing. A thunderbolt - or lightning bolt, as science class was rudely reminding her - shot out of the blade directly towards Cedric. At the speed it was moving, and with all the highly-conductive silver on him, he had no chance to dodge.

The bolt surged through him, and he grimaced in pain for a moment. But after that, he resumed his usual arrogance.

"I almost felt that!" he laughed. "Got anything better for me?"

There was a crackling sound behind him. He didn't care.

It didn't even bother him much when the bomb exploded from the sudden electrical charge.