Hiccups (Text) - COMPLETED!

>Reach down your throat again. Maybe there's something you can use.

This is a stupid idea, but you're desperate, plus it lets you pretend that drooling all over your arm was productive. You reach down your throat and...

...yeah, your arm is stuck again. How did you expect that not to happen?

And it's not like there's anything down here... wait, you feel something familiar Could it be...?

YES! It's the Hell Cattle whistle you swallowed when you were two! You could use this to direct the Hell Cattle away from the town. If you could get your arm out...

The gnome looks at you.

"You know," he says, "I could take a look inside there if that would be easier."

Without waiting for a response, he climbs up your arm and squeezes back into your throat.

Well, this is useful! Maybe you can get him to play the whistle. But where should you direct the cattle?

Steer cattle towards the great volcano known as Beelzebub's Spire. Perhaps there you can, like, sell your soul to get rid of the hiccups, or something.

Using an elaborate system of Morse Code, you indicate to the gnome inside your throat to play the whistle and direct the cattle towards Beelzebub's peak. A moment later, he climbs outside with the whistle, cleans it off with a handkerchief, and starts playing.

The cattle change directions, not trampling your hometown, and start climbing up the side of Beelzebub's Peak.

Well, you've got them here. Now what are you going to do? Sell your soul for a hiccup cure or something?

> This, but instead of selling your soul, SACRIFICE some of the herd to the ANCIENT AND VENGEFUL VOLCANO GOD

Before you can consider what to do, the Ancient and Vengeful Volcano God rises from the depths.

"WHO DARES DISTURB MY REST - ooh, Hell Cattle! I love these things! I'll give you a blessing if you sacrifice a bunch to me! Just toss them right in."

The gnome looks at you.

"Should I guide them in?"

You nod. Blessings from a volcano god sound good. Maybe you can get rid of the hiccups.

You climb down off your regular bull, and the mountain climber follows, guiding it off of the Hell Cow you're standing on now. The gnome starts playing the whistle, and the Hell Cattle start jumping into the volcano.

> Develop crush on RUGGEDLY HANDSOME Mountain Climber who also happens to be a good kisser

You were pretty sure this morning that you didn't swing that way... but man, he's such a good kisser...

> Just wait until you hiccup your hand out.

You hiccup and your hand comes out. You look somewhat embarrassed at the mountain climber.

> Looks like more sloppy makeouts are needed.

You can't take it any more! You have to kiss him!

But nothing comes out except hiccups.

Meanwhile, the Volcano God is taking count of the Hell Cattle coming in. Finally, all but one hops in. The god shouts "STOP!" before the last one enters, then floats over to your group.

"Thanks, you guys! This is great! This is enough Hell Cattle that I can retire! So that's what I'm gonna do. That means I'm appointing a new Volcano god..." He looks over your group, then his gaze settles on you specifically. "Yeah, you. Congratulations, this is your volcano now. Have fun with it. And keep that last Hell Cow, it's on me."

He then vanishes in a puff of smoke.

"Well, congratulations on the new job!" the mountain climber says, smiling. "Shame he did that before curing your hiccups, huh?"

You hiccup. The volcano, now under your control, starts to gurgle a bit.

Great. Now you're a volcano god with the hiccups, and if you don't do something about them, this volcano's going to erupt. What are you going to do now?