Re: The Grand Battle [Round Five: Battleopolis!]
12-25-2009, 10:58 PM
Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.
"A vacuum cleaner. Moving on its own. Building an army out of our inventory." The store's owner looked at Simmons skeptically. "And to top it off, you claim that this vacuum cleaner has skeleton arms. I mean, I might be able to believe the rest if I was really drunk, but the arms? Are you just trying to come up with the most unbelievable story ever? Next you'll be telling me it flew here on a broomstick! Or maybe it has a gun, too!"
"No, sir!" Simmons protested. "I swear, I saw it with my own eyes! I can even show you where it is, it's probably still building them!"
"You've clearly lost it, Simmons. Look, if you're afraid to look for a thief, just say so. I'll just call the police and they can investigate the door."
"I'm not lying! I really saw that... thing!"
The owner sighed, and picked up the phone.
"Hello? Police? This is Bob's Appliance Megastore. Somebody broke our front door, and they may still be in the store... Or maybe they vandalized it and ran away. Either way, I'd like to... What's all that noise in the background? It's very distracting." He paused. "Two officers claiming they were assaulted by... a vacuum cleaner with skeleton arms?" The manager's face sunk. "...And it flew away on a broomstick? Um, on second thought, can you put one of them on the line? I have an employee who might like to talk to them."
He handed the phone over to Simmons.
"Either this is some elaborate prank that both you and the police are in on, or the world's gone crazy. In either case, this is your problem now. I'm going home early."
"Er. Yes sir, Mr. Luther." Simmons talked into the phone. "Hello? Officer? Yes, I think I've seen this vacuum cleaner of yours..."
Robert "Bob" Luther walked out of his office. He had been having such a good day up until then, too. This stupid vacuum cleaner was ruining everything, just like it always did...
Where had that thought come from? He needed this break more than he thought.
"A vacuum cleaner. Moving on its own. Building an army out of our inventory." The store's owner looked at Simmons skeptically. "And to top it off, you claim that this vacuum cleaner has skeleton arms. I mean, I might be able to believe the rest if I was really drunk, but the arms? Are you just trying to come up with the most unbelievable story ever? Next you'll be telling me it flew here on a broomstick! Or maybe it has a gun, too!"
"No, sir!" Simmons protested. "I swear, I saw it with my own eyes! I can even show you where it is, it's probably still building them!"
"You've clearly lost it, Simmons. Look, if you're afraid to look for a thief, just say so. I'll just call the police and they can investigate the door."
"I'm not lying! I really saw that... thing!"
The owner sighed, and picked up the phone.
"Hello? Police? This is Bob's Appliance Megastore. Somebody broke our front door, and they may still be in the store... Or maybe they vandalized it and ran away. Either way, I'd like to... What's all that noise in the background? It's very distracting." He paused. "Two officers claiming they were assaulted by... a vacuum cleaner with skeleton arms?" The manager's face sunk. "...And it flew away on a broomstick? Um, on second thought, can you put one of them on the line? I have an employee who might like to talk to them."
He handed the phone over to Simmons.
"Either this is some elaborate prank that both you and the police are in on, or the world's gone crazy. In either case, this is your problem now. I'm going home early."
"Er. Yes sir, Mr. Luther." Simmons talked into the phone. "Hello? Officer? Yes, I think I've seen this vacuum cleaner of yours..."
Robert "Bob" Luther walked out of his office. He had been having such a good day up until then, too. This stupid vacuum cleaner was ruining everything, just like it always did...
Where had that thought come from? He needed this break more than he thought.
Spoiler
There's no reason for this | Or this | Death is inevitable | You can't challenge fate | The smallest change | I'm overwhelmed
I'm serious | It makes perfect sense | Easy as ABC! | I can't even explain it | Cleaning up someone else's mess
I suck | I rule | I've got it made | Really, I'm serious | This bugs me | It's all lies | I want to believe | Beauty is a curse
I'm serious | It makes perfect sense | Easy as ABC! | I can't even explain it | Cleaning up someone else's mess
I suck | I rule | I've got it made | Really, I'm serious | This bugs me | It's all lies | I want to believe | Beauty is a curse