The Battle Majestic (Round 4 - Magpie Skies)

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

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Fourteen sighed. Twenty-Five was normally far more reserved than this; he must have downed a whole damned bottle of cloudwhiskey before coming here. It was disappointing to see such a promising knight partake in such unprofessional conduct. And because of it, Fourteen now had to watch not only the prisoners, but also his drunken colleague. Fourteen was just cynical enough to believe Twenty-Five had gotten himself drunk intentionally, in hopes of making someone else's day worse than his own.
And it didn't help Fourteen's mood that his prisoner had suddenly decided to start asking him dozens of inane questions.
"What's your favorite color?" Eryntyse asked. "Do you have a dog? Where do babies come from? Will you sing me a song?"
Fourteen simply stood there, refusing to answer her. Unfortunately, this did nothing to dissuade the worm-creature.
"When's Christmas? How do they make that armor? Do you like pudding? Are those metal boots comfortable?"

Blitz smirked. Eryntyse's half of the plan was working nicely. Now it was his turn. He walked up to the bars, getting as close as he could to Twenty-Five's helmet. Then he started humming softly.
It wasn't long before the drunken knight joined in, and shortly after that, he decided the tune needed some lyrics.
"Ninety-nine bottles of cloudwhiskey on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of cloudwhiskey..."

Three verses later, Fourteen decided he couldn't take it any more. One of these annoyances would have to go, and it would be faster to deal with the one who wasn't on the other side of a needlessly complex lock.
He walked over to Blitz's cell and punched Twenty-Five in the head, knocking him to the floor.
"If you're still conscious," he said, "then I've got a few words you should hear about proper conduct. First of all--"
He didn't have a chance to finish before a blast of lightning flung the cell door off its hinges, knocking him into the opposite wall.
"--don't drink on the job," he concluded, before passing out.

Blitz walked over to Fourteen's unconscious form and grabbed his keys. Then he took a look at the lock on Eryntyse's door and decided the keys would be too slow.
"Stand back," he said.
Eryntyse moved to the far end of her cell, and Blitz blasted the lock. It fell apart, and he motioned for her to follow.
"Thaaaank you!" Eryntyse gushed, rushing towards him. She coiled around him lightly; Blitz was worried at first, but it soon became clear that the worm-creature just wanted to give him a hug.
"You're welcome," he said, laughing nervously. "Now, can you let me go? We need to get out of here before the knights find us."
Somewhat reluctantly, Eryntyse released him.
"Okay. So where are we going?"
And then Blitz realized he hadn't thought that far ahead.

***

"I've had enough!" Three growled, slamming his armored fist against the table. "We cannot simply sit by and do nothing while the Moonlight Queen terrorizes the cloudscape!"
"Oh, you're absolutely right, Three," Fifteen grumbled. "Let's send a half-dozen of our best men after her... Oh, no, wait, we tried that. And every last one of them died."
"I'm not denying we could stand a change in tactics," Three conceded. "But we need to act. We have to stop her, for the sake of the people!"
"You talk as if we didn't just nearly lose forty-seven men to one intruder," Twelve interjected. "As best as I can tell, it was pure luck we were able to subdue him."
"Then we should be training these fools better!" Three shouted. "I've read the reports. More than three-quarters of our injuries were from our own men charging right into each other. Surely we can teach them to do better than that."
"I don't think you realize just how thickheaded some of our men are, Three," Fifteen replied. "Now listen, I don't like the Moonlight Queen situation any better than you do. But be realistic. We've tried and failed to take her on, we've recruited dozens of new men and they're mostly hopeless, I really don't see what other option there is."
"Well, dammit, we should be trying to find one!" Three said, pounding the table again. "If we don't stop her, who will?"
At that very moment, the door swung open, revealing two escaped prisoners with no idea which door they were looking for.
Blitz waved awkwardly.
"Um. Hi?"
The knights descended on him immediately.

Two minutes later, Blitz was unconscious yet again, and Eryntyse had fled. The worm-creature, however, was not the three knights' prime concern.
"This is the intruder who incapacitated forty-seven men?" Three asked skeptically. "He didn't put up much of a fight."
"This is him, all right," Fifteen said. "Same man we found near Sixty-Two. I'll take him back down to the dungeon, and have a stern talk with Twenty-Five..."
"Fine. But once you do that, I want you right back here to discuss the Moonlight Queen."
"I don't see what there is to discuss, Three. I've got nothing to say I haven't already, and for that matter, neither do you."
"Er... Actually, may I make a suggestion?" Twelve asked suddenly.
"What is it?" Three and Fifteen both asked.
"Well... I just realized two things. First, we can't afford to risk any of our own men to fight the Moonlight Queen. Second, our prisoner here, who managed to knock out forty-seven knights on his own, is not one of our men."
The other two knights stared at him, then turned their eyes to the unconscious prisoner.
Then Three burst into laughter.
"You're a clever one, Twelve. I like you." He patted the junior knight on the shoulder, then lifted up Blitz. "I'll get him some spare armor and a mount. Twelve and Fifteen, you two go and track down that worm."
"I still have to give Twenty-Five a lecture," Fifteen grumbled, shuffling off with Twelve.
Three ignored him. He simply smiled under his helmet and headed for the armory.
"Let's see if we can't make a hero out of you today, boy."