The Battle Royale S2 [Round 4: Burnination Studios]

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

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Genetics Director Pendleton was a traditionalist and proud of it. This had a lot to do with the fact that he was six centuries older than anyone else in the colony, and consequently remembered a lot of traditions that everyone else had forgotten.

In his view, the Department of Genetics had already undergone far too many reforms that merely got in the way of smooth operation. Yet generation after generation, he had been ordered to implement changes that had been decided on with only the flimsiest pretenses of asking for his input.

It never occurred to him that this might relate to the fact that he always objected every bit as vehemently no matter the change. His opinions on every matter, from suspending the termination process to changing the color of the walls, were always the same.

"Everything's worked just fine since the day I was made Director, I don't see why we should go changing it now."

Over his decades of service, only one thing had changed about his answer: the sarcastic prediction of what ridiculous change they'd implement next.

"Next you'll be telling me we should anesthetize the failures before termination!"
"Next you'll be telling me we should feed specimens more than once a month!"
"Next you'll be telling me to get permission from the donors before DNA extraction!"
"Next you'll be telling me specimens have citizenship privileges by default!"

This was only out of necessity, as all too often, it was only a decade or three before these ridiculous notions were actually approved. Sometimes he wondered if holding onto his lifetime appointment as Director was even worthwhile if he had no say in the actual decision-making process.

But he wasn't about to give those bastards the satisfaction of seeing him leave. Not when he was going to outlive them by at least another six hundred years.

The citizenship rule had particularly irked him. Director Pendleton had worked hard to prove himself more than a mere combination of human and tortoise DNA. He had shown his intelligence, and his capability of understanding the processes that had created him. That was how he had become the first Genetics specimen to be granted citizenship. Ultimately, they deemed that his line wasn't suited for manual labor; they had long lives, but were sluggish and required quite a bit of food. The other specimens, lacking his intelligence, were terminated - and as far as he was concerned, it was better that way.

But those days were over - now all specimens were considered citizens until they could be demonstrated to be nonsapient. Even the failures!

And now another regulation was under debate. They'd sent a proposal to him, but he knew that was just a formality; they never listened to him. Even if the regulation was ultimately voted down, he always knew it would come up again in a year, or three, or five, or fifty. Sooner or later the ignorant buffoons would have their way.

But he wasn't about to let them have it without a fight.

Suddenly, he heard a buzzer ring. Someone was calling on him now? What could it be this time? Were they giving him an amendment to the proposal? It wouldn't change his mind.

With a heavy sigh, he picked himself up from his desk and lumbered over to the door. Five minutes later, he opened it. He wasn't the slightest bit sorry for the inconvenience of whatever visitor he had.

There was no one there.

Director Pendleton looked to the left and to the right, scratching his head. Had the visitor simply run off while waiting for him to reach the door? How inconsiderate. Well, he'd simply have to give them a piece of his mind. He reached into the pocket of his labcoat and pulled out the elevator controls, then shut them down. Whoever had interrupted his admittedly unpleasant paperwork wasn't leaving this floor until he'd given them a piece of his mind.

The director took two steps forward before slipping on the banana peel and falling on his back. He flailed his arms and limbs about helplessly as he yelled for an aide.

Unfortunately for him, all of the aides had received a memo about an important meeting in the first floor conference room, and they were still waiting for Genetics Director Pendleton to arrive and tell them what exactly the meeting was about.