The Battle Royale S2 [Round 4: Burnination Studios]

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

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Sirius wiped the pie from his face and glared angrily at Jeremy. The door-mage simply grinned back.

Jeremy wasn't too surprised when the punch to the face came. Although, he had to admit, he hadn't expected it to come from the bartender.

Johnny stepped over the bar and picked Jeremy up off the ground, holding him up by his collar.

"You've got some nerve, mister! I'm proud of my meat pies, and I don't appreciate seeing one wasted on some cheap prank. Don't expect to get another one."

"S-sorry."

Johnny threw him to the ground. Jeremy decided it would be a good time to flee; as he did, the bartender turned to the angel.

"Sorry about that, Mr. Sirius. We get troublemakers like that in here every so often. I feel like I need to show 'em how we do things around here. This is a respectable establishment, after all."

And with that, Johnny stepped back over the bar and began polishing some glasses, as though nothing had happened.

Sirius was taken aback. In his homeworld, his life had been nothing more than an endless cycle of dealing with nonsense. And his experiences in the battle had, so far, been no better.

When was the last time he had seen anyone else show such contempt for nonsense? He couldn't even remember.

The sight brought a tear to his eye. It was beautiful.

Then the voices started screaming again. Sirius sighed, and asked for another drink. It was the only thing he could think of to calm them.

***

He couldn't say how many hours later it was. The gods had mostly calmed down; there was the occasional half-hearted hey, fetch me a goat, wing-boy, but for the most part, they were simply laughing.

For perhaps the first time in his life, Sirius felt something approaching peace of mind.

And then some idiot in a cloak decided that Johnny's was the best place to tell people about the coming of the apocalypse.

"THE END IS NEAR!" he shouted. "The wicked shall be judged! Repent now, and you may be saved!"

A moment later, a very large creature wearing a helmet came in and grabbed the zealot by the shoulders.

"That's enough out of you, mister. We'll see what the Grand Inquisitor has to say about your heresy."

"We cannot be silenced!" the cloaked man yelled. "Endymion must know! The end is coming!"

The creature grunted, and hit him in the back of the head. He fell unconscious, and the gargantuan carried him out.

Johnny turned to Sirius and gave a small giggle.

"That's the third guy this week. You'd think they'd have wised up by now, but nope. All it does is get 'em arrested."

Sirius said nothing. He was busy learning just how easily influenced drunk gods could be.

The end, he said?
Wow, I haven't had a good day of judgement in a thousand years. Hey wing-boy! Get on that, why don'cha?
THE WICKED SHALL BURN!
Why stop with the wicked? Kill 'em all, let Death sort 'em out.

"I think I've had enough to drink," Sirius said abruptly. "Thank you very much for your hospitality, but I really must be going now."

He ran off before the bartender could say another word.