The Battle Royale S2 [Round 4: Burnination Studios]

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

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Sirius had a mental list of absurd things that he found particularly unbearable. He was moving "Giant Flying Ants" up the list rapidly.

What bothered him the most was that Swales seemed to be commanding them. The Photographer's conjurations were bothersome, but they weren't actively hostile. The ant swarm was, and under the control of one of his opponents.

How had it happened? Perhaps Swales had some insect god in that mental pantheon of his, enabling him to take control of a swarm the Photographer had summoned? It seemed the most likely explanation.

Whatever the explanation, Swales was evidently responsible for this current absurdity. Killing him would stop it, if only by persuading the Composer to send them somewhere else; he had a feeling that she wouldn't be particularly inclined to bring the ants along. Unfortunately, there were too many ants; Sirius had been tearing off the heads of the ones that got close (and was somewhat relieved that they didn't bleed chocolate or something absurd like that when he did), and firing Angel Spheres when he had the opportunity, but it wasn't even making a dent in the swarm.

He did have a powerful wind spell at his disposal. But it would take his full concentration to prepare it. He'd have to put some distance between the ants and himself first.

And he had the means to do that. He just didn't like it.

"Ignition," he groaned. The flames flared up around him. The ants that drew near him were set ablaze.

Disturbingly, their charred corpses remained in the air. Whatever was keeping them airborne didn't get burned away, it seemed.

But for once, absurdity worked in the angel's favor. He couldn't prepare another spell while the flames burned, but the charred ant corpses soon surrounded him, as the ants foolishly tried to attack him through the flames - there were enough of them that Swales didn't need to order them to pull back, assuming he could even do that.

And that meant that the other ants couldn't get past him. Their exoskeletons, even burned, proved too hard for the stingers and mandibles to pierce. Behind his crude shield, Sirius began to concentrate.

Timothy was concerned. The ants had started piling on Sirius, even though he was on fire, and they hadn't stopped. And now there were a lot of dead ants keeping the rest from getting close. Sirius was the last person he'd expect to willingly surround himself with giant dead ants; that suggested the angel was plotting something, and Tim would have to find a way to deal with it.

Lacking other ideas, he offered a prayer to his new god. He was fairly sure he'd regret it.

You want me to do something about those dead ants? Certainly! But first, there must be cake!

Before Tim could request clarification, an enormous pink cake materialized in the air above Sirius. The simpleminded ants started flying towards the sweet confection.

Then, suddenly, it started to fall down.

Tim laughed despite himself. Sirius was going to be crushed to death by a cake!

His laughter was interrupted by Sirius' words. Or rather, the blast of wind that accompanied them.

"Holy Gale!"

The winds scattered the ant army, blew the cake apart and flung bits of it back towards Prospect Creek, and nearly blew Timothy off his mount. As it was, he held on tightly enough to still be riding it when a stray ant leg hit him in the face.

When the storm died down, the ants were confused, including Timothy's ride. Some had lost legs to the sudden blast, or were following stray bits of cake.

The ant corpses had been blown away as well. Only Sirius had been unaffected, and he was taking advantage of the confusion in the ranks to fly straight towards Timothy.