Journal of Sociology [S!6] - [Round Two: Ryburg Ritz]

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

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Name: The 24-7 Gang: Bobby Banks, Robyn Banks, Robespierre Banks, Roberta Banks, Rupert Banks (No relation)
Gender: Male, Female, Male, Female, Male
Race: Human, the whole lot of them
Text Color: 009900, dollar-bill green
Description: The 24-7 Gang are a family of thrill-seeking gangsters who have dedicated their lives to robbing banks, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. If this means hopping on a bankplane to another continent, and robbing it in the process, then so be it!
The Banks family wear their masks at all times, at least when they're on the job - rumor has it they wear them in private, too, but this rumor has no basis in reality.
Bobby is a somewhat bulky man in his late thirties wearing a purple ski mask. Most news stories on the gang identify him as the leader, but in all honesty, he's not very bright and is well aware of this. He does enjoy the publicity, though. He's very protective of his family, though you'd have a hard time getting him to admit this in public - or in private, for that matter.
Robyn is a slim woman, slightly older than Bobby, wearing a red mask. She's the true leader of the gang, and Bobby's wife; she admires him mostly because he's very good at doing what she says. She tends to constantly issue orders to the family even during downtime.
Robespierre is a thin, even scrawny, teenage boy in a light blue ski mask. He loves pulling pranks, and it doesn't matter to him whether he pulls them on bank security guards or on his own family.
Roberta, the youngest, is an eight-year old girl wearing a pink ski mask and a frilly pink dress instead of the black jackets and pants the rest of the family wear. She always talks in a very cutesy voice, and is usually holding a doll or stuffed animal of some kind; she's gathered a rather large collection, but every week or so she picks a different one as her "favorite" and will never be seen without it, until next week when she tosses it back with the others.
Rupert is the only member of the gang not to wear a mask; he wears formal attire and is a man in his fifties or sixties with grey hair and an immaculately-trimmed mustache. He is always polite and has a slight British accent - at least, when he's not posing as someone on a job. He is very loyal to the family, and acts as something of a butler to them, as well as a tutor to the children.
Weapons/Abilities: Each member of the gang has their own specialty.
The main advantages Bobby brings to the team are his imposing build, and his ability to yell in a loud and booming voice. He tends to act as the muscle and/or a distraction, depending on what the heist calls for.
Robyn specializes in planning out the gang's heists, and she's an excellent shot with a gun. In addition, she's an expert at breaking into and hotwiring vehicles whenever the current one gets too hot to handle; past thefts include motorcycles, armored trucks, police cars, tanks, ocean liners, and a space shuttle that one time.
Robespierre's light build makes him good at sneaking around unnoticed, and he has a grappling hook, infrared goggles, and a harness to help him make use of this to get into hard-to-access areas unseen. In addition, he's the family pickpocket, and usually the one called on when they need to get a keycard or somebody's ID in a hurry. He also loves pulling pranks, as mentioned before, and can never resist pulling at least one trick while he's on a stealth mission. He has a few props for this purpose, such as sneezing powder and whoopee cushions, but he's also not afraid to improvise.
Roberta is the family's tech expert, and also has a knack for picking locks. She's remarkably adept at hacking, although she tends to give her stuffed-animal-of-the-week credit for that.
Finally, Rupert is a master of disguise, which may explain his willingness to go without a mask the rest of the time - it's not as if it would help security to recognize him. He's also something of a jack-of-all-trades, having previously shown an affinity for such diverse tasks as demolitions, safecracking, martial arts, cooking, laundry, vehicle repair, software engineering, and skydiving.
In addition, at the time of abduction, the family had stolen an armored van and loaded their most valuable belongings into it, among them changes of clothes, various gear for heists (including weapons), Roberta's doll and stuffed animal collection, and Robespierre's props.
Biography: (spoiled for length)

Show Content

SpoilerBobby Banks was a two-bit hood with dreams of big things. He had robbed convenience stores since he was fifteen and had finally figured out how to pick the lock on his dad's gun room. But on his twenty-first birthday, he suddenly realized that he could do more with his life. That was when he decided to move on to bigger and better things.
He robbed his first liquor store that evening.
It was a bit disorienting at first, but once he figured out how to hold the six-pack and the gun at the same time, it went a lot better. At least, it did until she came in.
Robyn was twenty-three, and she'd figured out how to pick the lock on her mother's shed at fourteen. She took one look at the amateur who was clearly working on his first hold-up and sighed.
Usually, when she came across losers like this who happened to beat her to the job, she just shot them and then turned her gun on the clerk; it was good for intimidation. But this time, when she saw Bobby and how eager he seemed despite his incompetence, she felt something else.
Pity.
"You heard my partner," she growled, pointing her gun at the clerk. "Put the money in a bag and toss it to him."
The clerk nodded warily, and emptied the cash register into a paper sack. Bobby took it, unsure of what exactly was going on.
"Good work, kid," Robyn said. "Now bring it out to the car, we don't have all day."
Bobby obeyed, wondering what the hell had just happened. They stepped out into the parking lot, and Robyn led him over to a pickup truck, keeping her gun trained on him all the while in case he tried to bolt before handing over the cash.
"This one looks good," she said. "You know how to hotwire, kiddo?"
Bobby shook his head.
"No? Well, lucky you. I'm gonna give you a quick lesson, at no extra charge."
A half-hour later, they were driving down the highway, masks off and exchanging their life stories. They soon found that each of them had something that the other was looking for; Robyn realized that Bobby had the makings a good minion, and pretty good-looking compared to the losers she'd been dating up to now. Bobby, for his part, realized that Robyn could provide him with valuable experience and was a total freakin' babe.

Three months later, Bobby took Robyn to a place that was very close to his heart: the first convenience store he'd ever robbed. After they gave the elderly clerk a heart attack and cracked open the safe, they headed to the slush machine for a drink and then headed back outside.
"Pretty nice place, Bobby," Robyn said. "I can see why you started here. It's a lot better than the first dump I held up."
Bobby nervously sucked on his slush for a few minutes, saying nothing. Then, he finally spoke up.
"Robyn," he said, "we've been goin' around for three months now, and I was thinkin'... I was thinkin' I like you a lot, and, uh..." He paused, and held up the ring he had grabbed off the clerk's finger.
"Will you marry me, Robyn?"
She glared at him.
"Hell no!"
He looked down, sadly.
"Don't you know anything, Bobby?" Robyn shouted. "That's a wedding ring, not an engagement ring! If you're gonna do this, you better do it right! Now come on, we got a jewelry store to hit."
Bobby looked up, and stared at her for about five minutes while his brain tried to process what she was saying. When his neurons finally figured it out, he smiled.
"But Robyn," he said. "We never robbed a jewelry store before!"
"Yeah, well, there's a first time for everything," she snarled. "Now let's go!"
They headed over to a station wagon. Robyn was about to break in, but Bobby tapped her on the shoulder.
"Allow me," he said with a smile, ready to show her what he'd learned.
Five seconds later, the car alarm went off, alerting a police officer nearby, and in ten minutes they were handcuffed together. Twenty minutes after that, Robyn was driving a stolen police car to the jewelry store.

The jeweler looked at the young couple in masks handcuffed together and raised an eyebrow.
"Sir and madam," he said, "were I a less observant man, I would believe based on your attire that you had come here to threaten me and purloin some of my merchandise. However, the fact that you appear to have left your firearms in the police cruiser which you arrived in suggests otherwise. Would you care to clarify this matter?"
Bobby stared at Robyn.
"Uh... What'd he say?"
"He said you forgot the guns, you idiot!"
"Oh. Wait, I thought you were bringin' the guns!"
The jeweler sighed.
"Is this your first robbery, sir and madam?" he asked.
"Uh, no - ow!" Bobby said, as Robyn elbowed him in the gut.
"Shut up, idiot! This guy could testify against us later!"
"I assure you, madam, I had no such intention. In fact, as it happens, your arrival is most fortuitous for me. You see, the owner of this establishment has a rather generous insurance policy on the items in this store. And if some of these items were to be stolen, well, the insurance company would have to pay for their equivalent value."
"So what?" Bobby asked.
"It's interesting, but the owner of this establishment is highly reclusive. Why, I'm the only person to have any contact with him in the last ten years. To anyone else, it might seem as if he'd simply vanished ten years ago."
Bobby simply stared at the jeweler, but Robyn seemed to understand.
"Got it. So how many bags are the thieves going to get away with?"
"I was thinking seventeen." The jeweler handed her a small pistol. "Granted, it's an awful lot for two of you to carry in your condition, but surely your hostage can help out. What a shame no one will ever hear from him again, yes? Oh, and be sure to hit the security cameras on the way out. I'll point them out to you."
"Hang on a second!" Bobby shouted. "I don't know what's goin' on here, but I came to get my girl an engagement ring!"
"Oh! An excellent idea, sir." The jeweler reached under the counter and picked one up. "Here we are, the finest cubic zirconium ring I've ever crafted."
"Cubic what?" Bobby asked.
"He means it's a fake," Robyn replied. Then she glared at the jeweler. "Hang on a second! A fake? What are you tryin' to pull here, mister?"
"Madam, please," the jeweler replied. "Do you realize how corrupt the diamond trade is? I have my standards, you know."
Robyn sighed. "Well, it's a nice ring, I guess. Okay, Bobby, try that again."
"Right, right!" he said, taking the ring and handing it to Robyn. "Robyn, will you marry me?"
"Don't use my name in front of a witness, you moron!" she yelled back. "And yes, I will. Now let's get goin'."
"Oh, don't worry about me revealing anything," the jeweller said, packing several rings, bracelets, and necklaces into bags. "Once I set up my next identity, I'll hardly be in a position to accuse two people I don't know of robbing a jewelry store that I've never been to."
"You do this a lot?" Robyn asked.
"It's something of a hobby. Although, perhaps in my next one, I'll finally be able to retire. I've even been thinking of going back to my birth name, just for amusement."
"What's that?" Bobby asked.
"Rupert Banks," the jeweler replied. "Seventeen bags. Six for the gentlemen, seven for the lady, four for me. Let's go, shall we?"
"Yeah, fine," Robyn said. "I hope you like weddings, by the way. I don't believe in long engagements, so we're gettin' hitched next stop."
"Oh, marvelous!" Rupert replied. "Perhaps the Reverend Charles Finne can perform the ceremony. I've always wanted to bring him back, just for a night or two."

The next day, the newlyweds were sitting in a 24-hour diner, reading the headlines.
"First Church of Mammon National Bank Robbed, Thieves Wed," Robyn said, smiling at her new husband. "We made the headlines, honey!"
Bobby smiled back.
"Best heist of my life, Robyn."
"It was rather exhilarating," Rupert said, emerging from the kitchen with a stack of pancakes, which he deposited on the table. "I must say, I'm envious of your lifestyle! I almost wish this was how I'd spent my own youth. Or Franklin Evansburg's youth, as the case may be."
For perhaps the first time in his life, Bobby looked thoughtful.
"Hey, Robyn," he said. "Think we can have this guy stick around? He was pretty useful in that heist, and he makes some damn good pancakes."
"I would not be averse to such an arrangement, sir," Rupert replied. "And naturally, I would respect your privacy."
Robyn smiled.
"Hell, why not," she said. "Just one thing, though."
"And what would that be, madam?"
"If it's just me and Bobby, that's one thing. But once we bring in a third guy, well, we're a gang. And that means we need a name."
Bobby chewed on his pancakes thoughtfully, and then got up.
"A gang name, huh."
He looked out of the window at the diner's sign. It read "OPEN 24-7".
"Twenty-four seven," he muttered.
"What's that, Bobby?"
"How about the 24-7 Gang?" he asked. "I kinda like the sound of that."
"Bobby, are you nuts?" Robyn screamed at him. "It sounds like we're a gang that's always stealin' stuff, every hour of the day, every day of the week!"
Rupert smirked.
"I must say, that is a rather intriguing concept."
"What? You seriously thinkin' of doing that?"
"Well, madam, now that you've raised the idea, I am considering how it might actually be done. It would certainly be an audacious effort. If you'll give me an hour or so, I can draft a plan of action."
Robyn sighed.
"All right, do whatever you want."

Fifteen years later, the 24-7 gang had expanded by two. Robespierre Banks was Bobby and Robyn's first son, conceived on their wedding night - the name had been a suggestion by Rupert. Their eight-year old daughter, Roberta, had been named by Robyn, on the basis that Bobby had named the gang and Rupert had named their first kid. They were now the most notorious bank robbers on the planet. Despite the best efforts of law enforcement, their 24-7 crime spree continued unabated.

Until the day when suddenly, they vanished.