Re: The Fearsome Encounter (GBS3G8) [Round 2: Oh Two Oh]
08-27-2012, 12:28 AM
Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.
"I don't like this thing," Ab grumbled. "Can't wait until we've sold it so I never have to lay eyes on it again."
"Oh, relax," Errat said with a smirk. "It's not as if a statue is that hard to take care of."
"I'll still feel a good deal better once it's gone and my wallet's overflowing," Ab growled. "It makes me uncomfortable."
"Don't be absurd, Ab. It's just a statue! What's there to worry about?"
Suddenly, the serpent's gemstone eyes lit up. The Arbiter had issued a prayer. Before either thief knew what was happening, Azungrada had torn off Ab's upper-left arm and was slithering away at a surprising speed, back towards the bar.
"You just had to open your big mouth, didn't you?" Ab shouted. "That was my favorite arm, no less!""
"If we catch that thing again, we can get you ten new arms!" Errat retorted. "Hurry up, before somebody else gets their grubby paws on it!"
They chased the serpent down the corridor. It moved with surprising speed, easily keeping ahead of them even with pauses to bite, strangle, or crush the occasional unfortunate passerby.
"That thing's a monster!" Ab exclaimed. "How are we going to catch it now?"
"By not wasting our breath nattering instead of chasing it!" Errat yelled back. "Just keep moving!"
And then, suddenly... it stopped.
The infidel had been taken care of. Its intervention was no longer necessary.
It stood still, and waited.
Ab stared at it.
"I'm not lifting that thing again," he grumbled.
"Bah! Fine, then. You keep an eye on it, and I'll find a crew to move it. Of course, their pay will come out of your share of the sale..."
Ab sighed.
"Fine, but if I lose any more arms, you owe me."
***
The bar fell into silence, then quiet murmurings. Most of the customers had seen someone die in a brawl before, of course, but a man suddenly turning to silver was more than a little unexpected.
Augustus was initially taken aback as well. Was this Azungrada's work? In the past, his god's smitings had all been more direct in nature... but then, in the past, Azungrada had always been physically present.
He had already expressed His anger at Augustus; had He left the physical plane, only to return once the Divine Arbiter proved worthy?
And if Augustus proved unworthy, would he share this heretic's fate?
It was a chilling thought, but Augusutus had already sworn to reclaim his god's favor. The implied threat changed nothing. He calmed down, and then the reality of the situation dawned on him.
The entire bar had seen him order the wrath of his god upon this infidel. They had all turned their eyes on him.
They were curious. Confused. Afraid.
In short, it was a crowd ripe for conversion, and he already had their full attention. He smiled, walked over to Ion's silvery form, and retrieved his sword from the statue's hand.
This would be his chance to prove himself.
"Behold, the might of Azungrada the Great Destroyer!" Augustus shouted. "With but a word, I can call His divine power and smite the unworthy. See how the infidels fall before Him! You will all be judged, every one of you! Those who do not follow the one true God shall be destroyed! A fate even worse than his awaits you!" He scanned the crowd, and saw several frightened faces among them; he knew they would soon be his. "But there is another way. Join me, join Azungrada, and you shall find salvation! Devote yourselves to Him, and... Urk!"
Redclaw, unimpressed by Augustus' speech, had decided to put on a show of his own. He had grabbed the Arbiter by the neck, and lifted him as high off the ground as he could.
"I fear no god," Redclaw snarled, pulling the sword from Augustus' hands and tossing it to the floor. "Let alone such a weakling as you. Go ahead, human. Call your God again. Let him try to strike me."
Redclaw was not as brazen as he seemed; he knew Augustus was bluffing. He had seen the spider sneaking into the crowd, and knew this was her doing, not some God's. Augustus was no threat to him.
And it was such a delight to watch the Arbiter squirm in his grop.
Augustus' mind raced. He was still being tested. And would Azungrada deem him worthy if he called for help again so soon?
Then inspiration struck. Why was he the only one who should be tested?
"Azungrada has no need to dirty His hands with the likes of you, beast," Augustus croaked weakly, struggling to free his neck. Redclaw laughed, and released his grip on the former pirate's throat ever so slightly.
"What was that? I couldn't hear you. Speak up a bit."
Augustus did not waste the opportunity.
"I said, you are beneath Azungrada's notice!" he shouted. "Hear me, all who follow Azungrada! This is your chance for salvation! Destroy this heretic in the name of your God!"
A murmur swept through the crowd. Most of the onlookers were considering the choice between "a deity who can change people into silver" and "a large wolf who is standing right over there". For many, in the end, proximity was the deciding factor.
But four stepped forward. One was a small apelike creature, another resembled a large starfish. The third could have passed for human were it not for the bizarre plants growing out of her head, and the last was a robot, with one of its hands evidently torn off and a hook sticking out of the remaining circuitry. They walked towards the wolf, who simply glared at them in return. He was not impressed.
"Unhand the prophet," the starfish said angrily.
"Gladly," Redclaw sneered. He flung Augustus in the direction of the bar. "I prefer to have two free hands in a fight. Which of you fools wishes to die first?"
The ape suddenly screeched and leapt at Redclaw's face. The wolf was startled, but hardly harmed; when he recovered from the initial shock, he simply raised a claw towards his attacker...
And found that claw bound by what felt like a starfish's arm. He was undeterred. He was stronger than these fools. He raised his other claw...
And found he couldn't move it. It was numb; if the ape were not blocking his sight, he would have seen the plant-woman releasing a blue pollen over it.
No matter, he would simply have to be more direct. He slashed the starfish with the claw it was holding back, slicing its arm off. It screamed in pain, but soon after it was binding him with another arm.
Redclaw prepared to strike again. The creature only had five arms, and he could feel his paralyzed limb recovering. He would win soon.
And then he heard a strange mechanical noise.
"Calculating odds of successfully subduing target with current tactics. Low. Processing... target's lower body relatively unprotected."
Then he felt a heavy mass of metal tackling him in the legs, and a moment later, something pricked him.
That something was a silver hook.
Augustus picked himself up just as he saw a large wolf turn into a naked human and fall to the ground with a small ape clinging to his face.
The ape stared at his victim and hopped off his face.
"Huh. Must be some new drug on the market." He shrugged, then turned to the Arbiter, and awkwardly saluted.
"Er, I'm not sure how exactly to join a religion," he said apologetically. "Do I call you Sir? Your Holiness?"
Augustus stood as tall as he could. He had never actually had a congregation before, but he did know how to project authority.
"I am Augustus, the Divine Arbiter!" he declared. "You may address me by my title." He turned to the starfish, carefully reattaching its severed arm.
"You, there. Hand me my sword."
"Er... I'm a bit busy..."
"Would you have the Divine Arbiter lower himself to the ground?"
"...No, sir." The starfish sighed, picked up the sword with one of his lower legs, and passed it to his new prophet.
"Excellent! Now then, all of you, speak your names and I shall anoint you as followers of Azungrada. We shall pass judgement upon the wicked in His divine name!"
The four lined up awkwardly, the starfish still trying to reattach his arm.
"Er, can I go last?" he asked apologetically. "I'm a little busy."
Augustus sighed.
"Very well. The rest of you, speak your names."
"Munke," said the ape, saluting again. "Formerly Colonel Franklin Munke, before the whole discharge thing."
The hook-handed robot stared at Augustus for a while before finally speaking.
"Processing request. Acknowledged. Identity of self. Unit V3-278 has not yet been assigned a nomenclature. Unit was discarded after attacking assembly line worker. Unable to provide further identifying information. Unit V3-278 may be assigned nomenclature at Divine Arbiter's convenience."
Augustus considered this.
"Very well, then. You shall be Worm, until such time that you prove yourself worthy of a better name. Understand, Worm?"
"Acknowledged. Worm shall serve the glory of Azungrada with pride."
The woman simply stared.
"Will you not speak?" Augustus said. "I gave you a directive."
Our apologies. Our host's vocal chords are under our control, but we do not fully understand their operation. We further apologize for intruding on the Divine Arbiter's mind.
Augustus blinked.
"And your name?"
We are Orchard. We are intrigued by Azungrada and the power He grants you. We wish to learn more.
"Does Azungrada have your loyalty?"
He does. So we swear.
"Good. And I believe it is your turn now."
The starfish grunted as he finally snapped his arm back in place.
"They call me Nova," he grunted. "You need to know anything more?"
"I believe not." Augustus smiled, and held out his sword.
"By Azungrada's blessing, I declare you, Munke, Worm, Orchard, and Nova to be acolytes of the Great Destroyer. We shall pass judgement upon this sinful world, and Azungrada shall reward us for our faith."
"Sure," Munke muttered. "So what do we do with this fellow?" He pointed to the unconscious naked man.
Augustus mused on the matter. Under normal circumstances, he would have simply fed Redclaw to his god. But Azungrada was absent. Augustus thought back to his days as a pirate, and what he did with prisoners before then.
He smiled.
"That is a simple enough matter, Acolyte Munke. Where is the nearest airlock?"
"I don't like this thing," Ab grumbled. "Can't wait until we've sold it so I never have to lay eyes on it again."
"Oh, relax," Errat said with a smirk. "It's not as if a statue is that hard to take care of."
"I'll still feel a good deal better once it's gone and my wallet's overflowing," Ab growled. "It makes me uncomfortable."
"Don't be absurd, Ab. It's just a statue! What's there to worry about?"
Suddenly, the serpent's gemstone eyes lit up. The Arbiter had issued a prayer. Before either thief knew what was happening, Azungrada had torn off Ab's upper-left arm and was slithering away at a surprising speed, back towards the bar.
"You just had to open your big mouth, didn't you?" Ab shouted. "That was my favorite arm, no less!""
"If we catch that thing again, we can get you ten new arms!" Errat retorted. "Hurry up, before somebody else gets their grubby paws on it!"
They chased the serpent down the corridor. It moved with surprising speed, easily keeping ahead of them even with pauses to bite, strangle, or crush the occasional unfortunate passerby.
"That thing's a monster!" Ab exclaimed. "How are we going to catch it now?"
"By not wasting our breath nattering instead of chasing it!" Errat yelled back. "Just keep moving!"
And then, suddenly... it stopped.
The infidel had been taken care of. Its intervention was no longer necessary.
It stood still, and waited.
Ab stared at it.
"I'm not lifting that thing again," he grumbled.
"Bah! Fine, then. You keep an eye on it, and I'll find a crew to move it. Of course, their pay will come out of your share of the sale..."
Ab sighed.
"Fine, but if I lose any more arms, you owe me."
***
The bar fell into silence, then quiet murmurings. Most of the customers had seen someone die in a brawl before, of course, but a man suddenly turning to silver was more than a little unexpected.
Augustus was initially taken aback as well. Was this Azungrada's work? In the past, his god's smitings had all been more direct in nature... but then, in the past, Azungrada had always been physically present.
He had already expressed His anger at Augustus; had He left the physical plane, only to return once the Divine Arbiter proved worthy?
And if Augustus proved unworthy, would he share this heretic's fate?
It was a chilling thought, but Augusutus had already sworn to reclaim his god's favor. The implied threat changed nothing. He calmed down, and then the reality of the situation dawned on him.
The entire bar had seen him order the wrath of his god upon this infidel. They had all turned their eyes on him.
They were curious. Confused. Afraid.
In short, it was a crowd ripe for conversion, and he already had their full attention. He smiled, walked over to Ion's silvery form, and retrieved his sword from the statue's hand.
This would be his chance to prove himself.
"Behold, the might of Azungrada the Great Destroyer!" Augustus shouted. "With but a word, I can call His divine power and smite the unworthy. See how the infidels fall before Him! You will all be judged, every one of you! Those who do not follow the one true God shall be destroyed! A fate even worse than his awaits you!" He scanned the crowd, and saw several frightened faces among them; he knew they would soon be his. "But there is another way. Join me, join Azungrada, and you shall find salvation! Devote yourselves to Him, and... Urk!"
Redclaw, unimpressed by Augustus' speech, had decided to put on a show of his own. He had grabbed the Arbiter by the neck, and lifted him as high off the ground as he could.
"I fear no god," Redclaw snarled, pulling the sword from Augustus' hands and tossing it to the floor. "Let alone such a weakling as you. Go ahead, human. Call your God again. Let him try to strike me."
Redclaw was not as brazen as he seemed; he knew Augustus was bluffing. He had seen the spider sneaking into the crowd, and knew this was her doing, not some God's. Augustus was no threat to him.
And it was such a delight to watch the Arbiter squirm in his grop.
Augustus' mind raced. He was still being tested. And would Azungrada deem him worthy if he called for help again so soon?
Then inspiration struck. Why was he the only one who should be tested?
"Azungrada has no need to dirty His hands with the likes of you, beast," Augustus croaked weakly, struggling to free his neck. Redclaw laughed, and released his grip on the former pirate's throat ever so slightly.
"What was that? I couldn't hear you. Speak up a bit."
Augustus did not waste the opportunity.
"I said, you are beneath Azungrada's notice!" he shouted. "Hear me, all who follow Azungrada! This is your chance for salvation! Destroy this heretic in the name of your God!"
A murmur swept through the crowd. Most of the onlookers were considering the choice between "a deity who can change people into silver" and "a large wolf who is standing right over there". For many, in the end, proximity was the deciding factor.
But four stepped forward. One was a small apelike creature, another resembled a large starfish. The third could have passed for human were it not for the bizarre plants growing out of her head, and the last was a robot, with one of its hands evidently torn off and a hook sticking out of the remaining circuitry. They walked towards the wolf, who simply glared at them in return. He was not impressed.
"Unhand the prophet," the starfish said angrily.
"Gladly," Redclaw sneered. He flung Augustus in the direction of the bar. "I prefer to have two free hands in a fight. Which of you fools wishes to die first?"
The ape suddenly screeched and leapt at Redclaw's face. The wolf was startled, but hardly harmed; when he recovered from the initial shock, he simply raised a claw towards his attacker...
And found that claw bound by what felt like a starfish's arm. He was undeterred. He was stronger than these fools. He raised his other claw...
And found he couldn't move it. It was numb; if the ape were not blocking his sight, he would have seen the plant-woman releasing a blue pollen over it.
No matter, he would simply have to be more direct. He slashed the starfish with the claw it was holding back, slicing its arm off. It screamed in pain, but soon after it was binding him with another arm.
Redclaw prepared to strike again. The creature only had five arms, and he could feel his paralyzed limb recovering. He would win soon.
And then he heard a strange mechanical noise.
"Calculating odds of successfully subduing target with current tactics. Low. Processing... target's lower body relatively unprotected."
Then he felt a heavy mass of metal tackling him in the legs, and a moment later, something pricked him.
That something was a silver hook.
Augustus picked himself up just as he saw a large wolf turn into a naked human and fall to the ground with a small ape clinging to his face.
The ape stared at his victim and hopped off his face.
"Huh. Must be some new drug on the market." He shrugged, then turned to the Arbiter, and awkwardly saluted.
"Er, I'm not sure how exactly to join a religion," he said apologetically. "Do I call you Sir? Your Holiness?"
Augustus stood as tall as he could. He had never actually had a congregation before, but he did know how to project authority.
"I am Augustus, the Divine Arbiter!" he declared. "You may address me by my title." He turned to the starfish, carefully reattaching its severed arm.
"You, there. Hand me my sword."
"Er... I'm a bit busy..."
"Would you have the Divine Arbiter lower himself to the ground?"
"...No, sir." The starfish sighed, picked up the sword with one of his lower legs, and passed it to his new prophet.
"Excellent! Now then, all of you, speak your names and I shall anoint you as followers of Azungrada. We shall pass judgement upon the wicked in His divine name!"
The four lined up awkwardly, the starfish still trying to reattach his arm.
"Er, can I go last?" he asked apologetically. "I'm a little busy."
Augustus sighed.
"Very well. The rest of you, speak your names."
"Munke," said the ape, saluting again. "Formerly Colonel Franklin Munke, before the whole discharge thing."
The hook-handed robot stared at Augustus for a while before finally speaking.
"Processing request. Acknowledged. Identity of self. Unit V3-278 has not yet been assigned a nomenclature. Unit was discarded after attacking assembly line worker. Unable to provide further identifying information. Unit V3-278 may be assigned nomenclature at Divine Arbiter's convenience."
Augustus considered this.
"Very well, then. You shall be Worm, until such time that you prove yourself worthy of a better name. Understand, Worm?"
"Acknowledged. Worm shall serve the glory of Azungrada with pride."
The woman simply stared.
"Will you not speak?" Augustus said. "I gave you a directive."
Our apologies. Our host's vocal chords are under our control, but we do not fully understand their operation. We further apologize for intruding on the Divine Arbiter's mind.
Augustus blinked.
"And your name?"
We are Orchard. We are intrigued by Azungrada and the power He grants you. We wish to learn more.
"Does Azungrada have your loyalty?"
He does. So we swear.
"Good. And I believe it is your turn now."
The starfish grunted as he finally snapped his arm back in place.
"They call me Nova," he grunted. "You need to know anything more?"
"I believe not." Augustus smiled, and held out his sword.
"By Azungrada's blessing, I declare you, Munke, Worm, Orchard, and Nova to be acolytes of the Great Destroyer. We shall pass judgement upon this sinful world, and Azungrada shall reward us for our faith."
"Sure," Munke muttered. "So what do we do with this fellow?" He pointed to the unconscious naked man.
Augustus mused on the matter. Under normal circumstances, he would have simply fed Redclaw to his god. But Azungrada was absent. Augustus thought back to his days as a pirate, and what he did with prisoners before then.
He smiled.
"That is a simple enough matter, Acolyte Munke. Where is the nearest airlock?"
There's no reason for this | Or this | Death is inevitable | You can't challenge fate | The smallest change | I'm overwhelmed
I'm serious | It makes perfect sense | Easy as ABC! | I can't even explain it | Cleaning up someone else's mess
I suck | I rule | I've got it made | Really, I'm serious | This bugs me | It's all lies | I want to believe | Beauty is a curse
I'm serious | It makes perfect sense | Easy as ABC! | I can't even explain it | Cleaning up someone else's mess
I suck | I rule | I've got it made | Really, I'm serious | This bugs me | It's all lies | I want to believe | Beauty is a curse