Re: The Grand Battle S2G1! [Round Four: New Battleopolis!]
03-28-2012, 02:45 AM
Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.
"Right," Packston said. "Arkal, Emily, and I will go by air, as will anyone who can under their own power. Everyone else, get there on foot. If you see either Reinhardt or Tor's forces, do not, I repeat, do not engage; fall back and report to the others."
Emily glared at the assembled troops. "And don't go picking a fight with any Konka Rars, impostors or otherwise, unless they're actively threatening the populace. Technically this is only an order to the Geiram Guard, but I don't think the rest of you want to get them upset, now do you?"
There were general murmurs of "Yes sir!" and "Yes ma'am!" from the crowd.
Arkal then stepped forward.
"Before we head out, I want to say a few words to you all," he said. "I've been in my share of fights, but I've always thought of myself as a smith more than a warrior. From what Packston's told me, you're all worried about what happens when this round ends - whether you'll even still exist."
The smith looked carefully at the assembled group of humans, nonhumans, former humans, and machines.
"And that's damn scary. I may not be facing that myself, but that doesn't mean I'm blind to your fears. I wish I could tell you that if we go out there and succeed in this mission, it'll all turn out okay for you. But the truth is, I don't know any more than you do."
Arkal paced around for a bit before turning to the crowd and speaking up again.
"But I can tell you all this! You're more than just playthings created by some big-eyed lunatic to keep us occupied while we're supposed to be killing each other. Your lives have meaning! And if we succeed today, you'll prove it. This mission isn't just about stopping the Hand of Silver and his ilk. It's about proving that, no matter how you came into being, you can make a goddamn difference. Maybe the Observer won't give a damn about that, but I sure as hell will."
Arkal smiled, and pumped his fist.
"Now let's get out there and do our damnedest to save this city, and put an end to the Hand of Silver's dreams of human supremacy!"
A cheer erupted from the crowd. Envoy, Cole, and Alcarith stepped forward as the rest of the group dispersed.
"Time to fly," Cole said. He grew wings, and grabbed a harness on Packston's back. Envoy grabbed Arkal with his four arms. Alcarith changed into a dragon, and Emily climbed aboard.
As they took off, Arkal looked down at the crowd slipping through the streets below. A tear fell from his eye as he thought of the uncertain fate awaiting them at the end of all this.
Damned Observer, he thought. Once we take care of the Hand of Silver, you're next.
***
"And then there were four of them," the hat-wearing man said. "And quite the crowd gathered around them. If I were to hazard a guess, sir, I should think that whoever wins that tussle should have quite the force at his disposal."
"Hmm. An excellent point. Keep an eye on the situation; we don't want the distraction from our attack on the non-human base. Dismissed!"
The hat-wearing man took a bow, and walked out, leaving Reinhardt to ruminate. But not for long, as he soon had another visitor, and she evidently had no use for doors.
Reinhardt was only slightly surprised. He had grown used to his new allies appearing from nowhere.
"It is done," she said calmly. "The nonhuman faction is no more. You will guide us to the Hand of Silver now."
Reinhardt was taken aback.
"So soon?" he asked. "I find this hard to believe."
"See for yourself," she said. She held out a skull with a strange device in one eye socket and pointed it at the wall. A man suddenly appeared and turned off the lights. The skull showed images of numerous hallways, empty except for the humans standing still within.
"This is the nonhuman base. As you can see, it is devoid of any life save our fragments."
There was a sudden scream as the image scrolled past a trio of the strange humans being torn apart by a large cloud.
"...I beg your pardon. Devoid of intelligent life, at least. Nonetheless, I highly doubt these insects will be mounting an armed resistance. Now, you will allow us to speak with the Hand of Silver."
Reinhardt was sweating inside his armor. He hadn't expected this. It had been barely an hour since he had extended the offer - how could he have known they would wipe out the nonhumans so quickly?
He needed an excuse, if only to buy time. Fortunately, he was quick to realize that his recent visitor had provided him with one.
"Naturally, the Hand of Silver will be pleased to speak with you!" Reinhardt said, with an insincere grin concealed by his helmet. "But an emergency has come up. We've received word that there's a group of Konka Rar cultists in the middle of the city, and many of them haven't awakened yet. It's possible that we could be dealing with an entirely new nonhuman faction if we don't capture them now, and either convert them to our cause or, if they awaken to nonhuman forms, eliminate them."
The two fragments shot a glance at each other.
"We can dispose of them for you."
"The Hand of Silver would prefer that we deal with this ourselves," Reinhardt replied. "Many of my men knew these people before our awakening; we may be able to persuade a good portion of them with reason. And if not - well, we were already preparing for an assault on the nonhumans before you so efficiently took care of that for us."
"It sounds to me as if the Hand of Silver will be free while you engage on this mission," said the male fragment. "Could we not speak to him at this time?"
"Ah, my apologies, but the Hand of Silver takes a great interest in following our major operations. He insists on an absolute lack of distractions, so that he may provide new orders to me if he feels a change of tactics is called for. But once we take care of this small matter, of course he will be free to speak with you. You have proven yourself as great allies to mankind, after all."
The fragments whispered something to each other. The female spoke.
"This is acceptable. But we will speak to the Hand of Silver at once after you return from this operation. Is that clear?"
"Absolutely."
Reinhardt desperately hoped he could come up with a plan by then.
***
Pluck tried very carefully not to look worried about Bae's sudden disintegration. The icicle he'd pulled out of the shapeshifter's mind just moments before the laser blast flew towards the other Konka Rar's face, but he sidestepped it easily - with the help of his time-controlling arm, of course.
Quantos, for his part, was relieved. Of course, he couldn't show it.
"I grew tired of toying with the impostor," he announced to the crowd. "And so I ended his pitiful life quickly. It should be clear now that I am the true Konka Rar..."
"Halt, impostor!" shouted a voice. The crowd turned to see another black-robed figure in a skeleton mask with a metal arm, accompanied by an ordinary-looking man. A murmur ran through the crowd, including one or two people commenting that Konka Rar's figure looked somewhat more feminine than they'd expected.
The new Konka Rar stepped into the center of the square, noting the remains of Bae with some disgust before turning her attention to Quantos.
"I thought it would be amusing to see which of these fakes killed each other first," she said, before proceeding to telekinetically pull Quantos' mechanical arm in her direction. The other Rar grabbed onto his arm desperately and pressed some buttons to slow the detachment of his arm, then fired a laser at the newcomer.
She dodged it before he had even fired. The beam flew over the heads of the assembled crowd, and struck a nearby building.
"Is that the best you can do?" she cackled. "Pathetic."
"Enough of this!" a third voice shouted. The crowd turned to the other side, and saw yet another Konka Rar, this one accompanied by four skeletons and a small flying device.
"I tire of these impostors," Konka Rar IV said, in a voice much less authoritative than his predecessors. "Surrender now, and I may spare your lives. Or at the very least, permit your bodies to live on as my minions."
The crowd's murmurs this time mostly focused on how stubby Konka Rar's arms were, and the awkward way he was walking around. Nobody commented on the price tag still hanging from Slim's elbow.
As the number of Rars increased, so too did the size of the crowd; passerby stopped to watch what was going on. Among their number was a man in a grey hoodie, who almost nobody noticed.
It was unfortunate for Hans Silverman that the two people who did notice him were John Smith and a fragment, both of whom were actively looking for him.
***
Nancy Little was terrified. She just wasn't sure which of the monsters she should be more afraid of.
The human-looking monster with a megaphone climbed out of the planetarium and approached her, a smile on his face.
"SO THERE'S ANOTHER HUMAN HERE!" he said. Then he saw Nancy covering her ears, and then he remembered that he didn't need the megaphone any more.
"So there's another human here!" he repeated. "Well, I guess we'd better bring you along with us. Don't worry, that subhuman won't be a threat to you for much longer."
The subhuman monster snarled.
"You... What have you done? All those delicious bodies, gone! You didn't even leave me any corpses to feed on!"
"The other subhumans, you mean? Just a minor roadblock on the highway of progress for humanity," the fragment said, still smiling. "And now you can join them."
Suddenly, a female fragment appeared next to him.
"We have found the Hand of Silver," she said. "He is in the center of the city. All fragments are to regroup to prevent his escape."
"Wonderful!" the male fragment said with a grin. "I'll get right on that once I finish dealing with this nonhuman. I should have time to do that before the main event."
The woman nodded, and then vanished. The male fragment moved forward.
"Now, where were we... Oh, yes! We were going to pave over this last pothole."
"I thought I was a roadblock."
"Typical nonhuman ignorance! Variable metaphors, road-related or otherwise, are one of the many things that make humanity so perfect... Hmm?"
He was interrupted by a series of shrieks from the planetarium below. He paused and looked down the ladder.
This proved to be a severe tactical error, as it gave Fantha the opportunity to shove him down the hole. She smiled as she watched the swarm devour him, then turned to her pet.
"There's some interesting insects down below. I don't plan on staying when they get tired of the meal down there and decide to start looking up here, and besides which, I'd like to deal with those human bastards who deprived me of so many meals. Care to come along?"
Nancy nodded, nervously.
"Good!" Fantha's body suddenly grew six dragonfly wings. "I have to say, perhaps it was a stroke of luck that the loud female caught me feeding while you were unconscious. I'm not sure I could have gotten such a nice set of wings otherwise. It was almost worth the trouble of chewing through her exoskeleton. Now, hold on tight, would you dear?"
Nancy grabbed Fantha's back, terrified, as the Bio Wyrm flew off towards the center of the city.
***
The crowd was growing, and somewhere along the line they had shifted from devotees to the newly returned Konka Rar to mere spectators. Several betting pools had started on which Konka Rar would emerge the winner, and an armored man with an arm made of energy had even started selling concessions.
Triumphian was not pleased with this. How dare they take the return of the Savior so lightly? He would have to remind them all of what was at stake here.
He started walking around the edges of the square, where the battle was taking place, and began preaching.
"You dare to make light of this battle?" he shouted. "Do you not realize what is at stake? Nothing less than all that is sacred in this world! Our Savior, Konka Rar, is battling against fiendish impostors who wish to corrupt your faith! Do not simply stand by and watch! Pray! Pray for Konka Rar's victory!"
A few of the more devout spectators followed his exhortations for prayer. Most, however, simply complained that the Pope was blocking their view of the fight.
One young boy had a different opinion on the matter entirely.
"Hey dad, can I ride on the dinosaur?" Ethan Broderburg asked.
"Ethan!" Clarice scolded him. "No you may not, for several reasons. First of all, it's dangerous. Second, it's disrespectful to get a piggyback ride from a major religious figure. Third, we're trying to blend in, and if you run out there and hop on a dinosaur's back, you're going to draw attention to us."
"Aw, Mooommm..." Ethan groaned.
"Listen to your mother, son," Tom said. "Now, let's get some snacks." He waved over to the concession-seller. Tom handed the one-solid-armed man five dollars, and was rewarded for his generosity with a box of toaster pastries.
"Dad, what is this?" Alison asked. "Are we supposed to just eat these cold? I don't think this guy really knows what he's doing."
"Oh well, I guess we'll just have to save them for later," Tom shrugged. "So, Clarice, which of them do you think is going to win?"
"Tom!" Clarice said, glaring at her husband. "You aren't going to place a bet, are you? I'm not even sure we should be letting Baby Emma watch this violence. Or Ethan, for that matter. Why, one of them's already been vaporised!"
"It'll be fine, dear," Tom reassured her. "Kids these days see worse things on TV. Anyways, I think the one with the skeletons is going to go down first; he just doesn't seem to be in the same league as the other two."
"Hey dad, there's a price tag on one of those skeletons!" Ethan said. "Can we buy it?"
"Sorry, Ethan, but no, we are not buying a skeleton from a possibly-fake cyborg lich. Especially not while he's in the middle of a fight. Besides, that's what, fifty dollars? Way too much for an impulse buy."
"I don't know, dear," Clarice mused. "Will the skeleton do the vacuuming for me? Or the laundry? It might be useful to have an extra set of hands around the house. Fifty dollars seems like a pretty good deal for that."
"Oh, all right, dear. I guess we can talk to him if he survives," Tom sighed. "But we're not making this purchase before we check his return policy!"
There was a loud roar behind them. The family turned around to see a dragon landing, with an old woman carrying a shield riding on its back.
"Is she Konka Rar too, Dad?" Ethan asked.
"Ethan!" Clarice scolded him. "That is a very rude thing to ask about your elders."
"Looks like she's not alone," Alison said. She pointed to the bug-covered man flying down, dropping off a passenger before he landed, and then a four-armed robot (which the family found oddly familiar) carrying a muscular old man with an anvil and forge on his back. Not long after, a variety of other people and odd creatures, gathered near them.
"Cool," Ethan said.
"You think everything is cool," Alison said. "I'm getting kind of bored with this, myself."
"Why?" her brother retorted. "No cute boys to look at?"
Alison glared at him. "Shut up, you little brat."
Clarice simply stared at the man covered in bugs with disgust.
"Somebody could really use a good bath," she muttered under her breath.
***
"Getting crowded over there," Dr. Anarchy noted. "Think I should fire another blast? See who it hits?"
"Nah," Brooklyn replied dismissively. "It looks like Emily's there, I just saw her dragon friend land. And I'd rather not draw her attention."
"Hmmph. Spoilsport."
"Hey, wait! I think I see the bigot army over there. Tell you what, see if you can hit Reinhardt. Even Emily won't complain too much about that."
"Ooh! I like the way you think. Hang on."
Anarchy lowered the scope on her goggles, raised her gun, and fired.
Nothing happened.
"Aww, dammit, not again!" Anarchy groaned. "Why does this stupid thing keep overloading? I was sure I fixed that this time! Now I gotta wait for it to cool down!"
"Damn. I mean, it would be fun to saw his face up, but that armor's going to be a real pain on my blades."
They kept flying, until Brooklyn suddenly stopped and turned towards a nearby rooftop. Anarchy flew ahead for a bit before she realized her companion had halted, then quickly turned her jetpack around.
"What's the holdup, Brook?" she asked. Then she saw Zeke on the rooftop, staring at the two of them. "Oh, hey there, ghost-boy. What brings you to this part of town."
He glared at the mad scientist duo for the better part of a minute before answering.
"Everyone is converging in Central Park," he finally said. "I will most likely find who I am looking for there."
"Cool," Anarchy said. "Want a ride? 'Cause you're not gettin' one!" She stuck her tongue out at the ninja, a gesture which did not faze him at all.
"I am more than capable of traversing this city on my own," he said simply. "All I ask is that you stay out of my way."
He leapt to the next rooftop without another word.
"Huh. Pleasant guy. Are the other ghosts like that?" Anarchy asked the chainsaw.
"Nah, he just doesn't like anyone. Zach's a much better conversationalist, for instance."
"Er, thank you, I suppose," the aforementioned spirit said, floating past.
"What are you doing?" Brooklyn asked. "Don't tell me you're getting involved in this mess, too?"
"Well, ahh... yes, but mostly because there isn't much else to do. At the very least, if a battle has arrived here and we're all doomed, I could at least see how it turns out."
"Didn't take you for the kind to enjoy bloodsport," Brooklyn replied. "You seemed more like the type of guy to enjoy a nice cup of tea."
"Well, yes, but I can't exactly drink any in this state. And it's more of an academic interest than anything, really. If I'm going to cease to exist when this round ends, I think I'd rather know when it's coming."
Anarchy sighed.
"Whatever. Look, I'm going on ahead. You two can stick around and keep chatting if you want."
***
From his perch on a rooftop, Jacob Helix looked down at the park below.
He turned suddenly as he heard a door behind him open; a man in black robes and a fancy hat walked out onto the roof, accompanied by a large silver serpent with muscular arms.
"Oh, hello there," the newcomer said. "Didn't realize anyone else would be here."
"Me neither," Jacob said. "'S sorta why I picked it."
"Not a people person?" the robed man asked, walking over to the swordsman. His snake slithered along with him. "'Spose I can relate to that. My god Azzie here, he told me that I should destroy the world. But then I looked outside and, well, hardly seems worth the effort, the place is halfway there already at this rate."
"Mmm," Jacob replied. After a pause, he extended a hand. "Jacob Helix."
"Augustus Grey, evidently," the stranger said, shaking it. "Or rather, Augustus the Divine Arbiter, servant of Azungrada the Great Destroyer." He paused. "He's the snake here, in case you were wondering."
"Just awakened?" Jacob asked.
"Yes. I suppose it was about time, what with a round coming here and all; probably anyone who hasn't yet will by the time it's all over."
"Unless they die first," Jacob mused.
"Could be." Augustus looked at the tree. "What's the deal with that tree, anyhow?"
"Oh, it's going to grow all over the place and wreck everything. If everyone doesn't just kill each other first." He glanced down. "Which is probably going to happen pretty soon; Reinhardt's army isn't that far off."
The two men paused at the sound of rocket thrusters overhead, then they watched as a ninja leapt onto their rooftop and then started climbing down the side of the building.
"You meet the strangest people in this city, don't you?" Augustus said.
"Yep. So, what can you tell me about this Great Destroyer of yours? Does he have an afterlife?"
"A world of unyielding torment for the sinners."
"What about for the non-sinners?"
Augustus shrugged. "He never really mentioned much about that part."
"Sounds like a raw deal if you ask me."
"Maybe. Oh well, I'll leave that problem to the poor sap whose memories I ended up with."
"Yeah, don't think it'll matter much either way in, oh, maybe an hour or two, tops."
There was a pause.
"So, did you put the tree there? You seem to know an awful lot about it."
"Yeah. Some goofball I know tried to talk me out of it, I yelled at him. I dunno where he is now, probably getting himself drunk silly."
Augustus looked thoughtful.
"I think that goofball had the right idea. Don't suppose you've got any booze on you?"
Jacob shook his head.
"A pity," the Divine Arbiter said. "I suppose we'll have to watch it all end while sober."
"Yeah, 's a damn shame. Guess I should've thought ahead about that."
***
It had taken about ten minutes for Phil to pry his eyes off Holly long enough to finish his dinner. The fact that it had gotten cold by then didn't seem to bother him much.
Phil's face, on the other hand, bothered Holly quite a bit. Ten minutes of staring at it had seemed like an eternity. He was just so goddamn ugly with all those scars.
Then an idle thought crossed her mind. Ugly was a mood, too, wasn't it? It seemed worth a try, at least.
A moment later, Phil was yelling at her to quit looking at him, and grumbling about how cold the food had been, and how uncomfortable his chair was, and how Reinhardt was an idiot, and anything else that popped into his mind. She almost regretted the change, but then again, the change in emotions would hardly be permanent. And his face was a lot nicer to look at now.
In fact, it occurred to her that he was actually rather handsome without the scars.
She walked over to her prisoner, smiling.
"Sounds like you're in a bad mood. Maybe I can help you feel better."
He opened his mouth to complain again, but he soon found it was difficult to protest anything with her mouth in the way.
After a few minutes, she paused, and looked him in the eyes.
"Feeling better?"
Phil nodded, smiling.
"Good."
She kissed him again. He reached his arms behind her back, one of them noticeably lower than the other.
She quickly slapped it away, and stopped.
"You're not quite good-looking enough to get away with that," she said, annoyed. Then she winked at him. "At least, not yet."
She leaned in again.
"Try booze," a grinning Jeremy Bracket said, staggering through the doorway with a bottle in each hand. "Does wonders for your standards."
Suddenly aware of their spectator, Holly and Phil stood up and separated themselves. Holly glared at the intruder.
"Do you mind?" she said angrily.
"Notatall," Jeremy said, still grinning. "I'd be happy to join in."
***
The park was becoming increasingly crowded.
No actual fighting had started yet, aside from the trio of Konka Rars, but with the Geiram Guard's arrival and the human army within sight, not to mention the chainsaw and mad scientist and ghost hovering overhead, the ninja scouring the crowd, and the Bio Wyrm host flying in with a woman on her back, it seemed inevitable that something would happen soon.
And that was why Pluck thought it was a good idea to leave. This had gotten much crazier than he'd expected at first, and without Bae, he didn't even really have a reason to stay around any more. He quietly slipped past the Broderburgs, and soon bumped into a man in a gray hoodie.
"Oh, uh, sorry," he said.
"Watch where you're going," the hooded man grumbled. Pluck apologized, pushed his way past.
Then he noticed that there were a lot more people around than when he had last looked. And more of them seemed to be literally appearing out of nowhere.
He soon found himself pushed to the ground by the man in the gray hoodie. He tried to pick himself up, and then was hit on the head by a floating obsidian chessboard that had materialized right over him.
Rubbing his head, Pluck decided to crawl out. He soon found himself being grabbed by the collar.
"Nice going, imbecile," John Smith said angrily. "I nearly had him, but then you put him on his guard. And now these strangers are going to find him first. I may be too late to stop that, but at least taking care of you will put me in a better mood."
In desperation, Pluck reached out to a nearby mind, hoping whatever he pulled out would help.
In a twist of fate, the mind he happened to land on was Pope Triumphian's.
"Cease this bickering!" the dinosaur yelled. "This is diverting us from our true purpose: to bear witness to Konka Rar's glorious return!"
As if on cue, a bright pillar of light appeared in the center of the square, and a hooded figure in a black robe descended from it. All eyes, including John Smith's were drawn to it, offering Pluck a chance to escape. Although he didn't get far before he looked back at the square and realized just what he had done.
Konka Rar had returned.
"Right," Packston said. "Arkal, Emily, and I will go by air, as will anyone who can under their own power. Everyone else, get there on foot. If you see either Reinhardt or Tor's forces, do not, I repeat, do not engage; fall back and report to the others."
Emily glared at the assembled troops. "And don't go picking a fight with any Konka Rars, impostors or otherwise, unless they're actively threatening the populace. Technically this is only an order to the Geiram Guard, but I don't think the rest of you want to get them upset, now do you?"
There were general murmurs of "Yes sir!" and "Yes ma'am!" from the crowd.
Arkal then stepped forward.
"Before we head out, I want to say a few words to you all," he said. "I've been in my share of fights, but I've always thought of myself as a smith more than a warrior. From what Packston's told me, you're all worried about what happens when this round ends - whether you'll even still exist."
The smith looked carefully at the assembled group of humans, nonhumans, former humans, and machines.
"And that's damn scary. I may not be facing that myself, but that doesn't mean I'm blind to your fears. I wish I could tell you that if we go out there and succeed in this mission, it'll all turn out okay for you. But the truth is, I don't know any more than you do."
Arkal paced around for a bit before turning to the crowd and speaking up again.
"But I can tell you all this! You're more than just playthings created by some big-eyed lunatic to keep us occupied while we're supposed to be killing each other. Your lives have meaning! And if we succeed today, you'll prove it. This mission isn't just about stopping the Hand of Silver and his ilk. It's about proving that, no matter how you came into being, you can make a goddamn difference. Maybe the Observer won't give a damn about that, but I sure as hell will."
Arkal smiled, and pumped his fist.
"Now let's get out there and do our damnedest to save this city, and put an end to the Hand of Silver's dreams of human supremacy!"
A cheer erupted from the crowd. Envoy, Cole, and Alcarith stepped forward as the rest of the group dispersed.
"Time to fly," Cole said. He grew wings, and grabbed a harness on Packston's back. Envoy grabbed Arkal with his four arms. Alcarith changed into a dragon, and Emily climbed aboard.
As they took off, Arkal looked down at the crowd slipping through the streets below. A tear fell from his eye as he thought of the uncertain fate awaiting them at the end of all this.
Damned Observer, he thought. Once we take care of the Hand of Silver, you're next.
***
"And then there were four of them," the hat-wearing man said. "And quite the crowd gathered around them. If I were to hazard a guess, sir, I should think that whoever wins that tussle should have quite the force at his disposal."
"Hmm. An excellent point. Keep an eye on the situation; we don't want the distraction from our attack on the non-human base. Dismissed!"
The hat-wearing man took a bow, and walked out, leaving Reinhardt to ruminate. But not for long, as he soon had another visitor, and she evidently had no use for doors.
Reinhardt was only slightly surprised. He had grown used to his new allies appearing from nowhere.
"It is done," she said calmly. "The nonhuman faction is no more. You will guide us to the Hand of Silver now."
Reinhardt was taken aback.
"So soon?" he asked. "I find this hard to believe."
"See for yourself," she said. She held out a skull with a strange device in one eye socket and pointed it at the wall. A man suddenly appeared and turned off the lights. The skull showed images of numerous hallways, empty except for the humans standing still within.
"This is the nonhuman base. As you can see, it is devoid of any life save our fragments."
There was a sudden scream as the image scrolled past a trio of the strange humans being torn apart by a large cloud.
"...I beg your pardon. Devoid of intelligent life, at least. Nonetheless, I highly doubt these insects will be mounting an armed resistance. Now, you will allow us to speak with the Hand of Silver."
Reinhardt was sweating inside his armor. He hadn't expected this. It had been barely an hour since he had extended the offer - how could he have known they would wipe out the nonhumans so quickly?
He needed an excuse, if only to buy time. Fortunately, he was quick to realize that his recent visitor had provided him with one.
"Naturally, the Hand of Silver will be pleased to speak with you!" Reinhardt said, with an insincere grin concealed by his helmet. "But an emergency has come up. We've received word that there's a group of Konka Rar cultists in the middle of the city, and many of them haven't awakened yet. It's possible that we could be dealing with an entirely new nonhuman faction if we don't capture them now, and either convert them to our cause or, if they awaken to nonhuman forms, eliminate them."
The two fragments shot a glance at each other.
"We can dispose of them for you."
"The Hand of Silver would prefer that we deal with this ourselves," Reinhardt replied. "Many of my men knew these people before our awakening; we may be able to persuade a good portion of them with reason. And if not - well, we were already preparing for an assault on the nonhumans before you so efficiently took care of that for us."
"It sounds to me as if the Hand of Silver will be free while you engage on this mission," said the male fragment. "Could we not speak to him at this time?"
"Ah, my apologies, but the Hand of Silver takes a great interest in following our major operations. He insists on an absolute lack of distractions, so that he may provide new orders to me if he feels a change of tactics is called for. But once we take care of this small matter, of course he will be free to speak with you. You have proven yourself as great allies to mankind, after all."
The fragments whispered something to each other. The female spoke.
"This is acceptable. But we will speak to the Hand of Silver at once after you return from this operation. Is that clear?"
"Absolutely."
Reinhardt desperately hoped he could come up with a plan by then.
***
Pluck tried very carefully not to look worried about Bae's sudden disintegration. The icicle he'd pulled out of the shapeshifter's mind just moments before the laser blast flew towards the other Konka Rar's face, but he sidestepped it easily - with the help of his time-controlling arm, of course.
Quantos, for his part, was relieved. Of course, he couldn't show it.
"I grew tired of toying with the impostor," he announced to the crowd. "And so I ended his pitiful life quickly. It should be clear now that I am the true Konka Rar..."
"Halt, impostor!" shouted a voice. The crowd turned to see another black-robed figure in a skeleton mask with a metal arm, accompanied by an ordinary-looking man. A murmur ran through the crowd, including one or two people commenting that Konka Rar's figure looked somewhat more feminine than they'd expected.
The new Konka Rar stepped into the center of the square, noting the remains of Bae with some disgust before turning her attention to Quantos.
"I thought it would be amusing to see which of these fakes killed each other first," she said, before proceeding to telekinetically pull Quantos' mechanical arm in her direction. The other Rar grabbed onto his arm desperately and pressed some buttons to slow the detachment of his arm, then fired a laser at the newcomer.
She dodged it before he had even fired. The beam flew over the heads of the assembled crowd, and struck a nearby building.
"Is that the best you can do?" she cackled. "Pathetic."
"Enough of this!" a third voice shouted. The crowd turned to the other side, and saw yet another Konka Rar, this one accompanied by four skeletons and a small flying device.
"I tire of these impostors," Konka Rar IV said, in a voice much less authoritative than his predecessors. "Surrender now, and I may spare your lives. Or at the very least, permit your bodies to live on as my minions."
The crowd's murmurs this time mostly focused on how stubby Konka Rar's arms were, and the awkward way he was walking around. Nobody commented on the price tag still hanging from Slim's elbow.
As the number of Rars increased, so too did the size of the crowd; passerby stopped to watch what was going on. Among their number was a man in a grey hoodie, who almost nobody noticed.
It was unfortunate for Hans Silverman that the two people who did notice him were John Smith and a fragment, both of whom were actively looking for him.
***
Nancy Little was terrified. She just wasn't sure which of the monsters she should be more afraid of.
The human-looking monster with a megaphone climbed out of the planetarium and approached her, a smile on his face.
"SO THERE'S ANOTHER HUMAN HERE!" he said. Then he saw Nancy covering her ears, and then he remembered that he didn't need the megaphone any more.
"So there's another human here!" he repeated. "Well, I guess we'd better bring you along with us. Don't worry, that subhuman won't be a threat to you for much longer."
The subhuman monster snarled.
"You... What have you done? All those delicious bodies, gone! You didn't even leave me any corpses to feed on!"
"The other subhumans, you mean? Just a minor roadblock on the highway of progress for humanity," the fragment said, still smiling. "And now you can join them."
Suddenly, a female fragment appeared next to him.
"We have found the Hand of Silver," she said. "He is in the center of the city. All fragments are to regroup to prevent his escape."
"Wonderful!" the male fragment said with a grin. "I'll get right on that once I finish dealing with this nonhuman. I should have time to do that before the main event."
The woman nodded, and then vanished. The male fragment moved forward.
"Now, where were we... Oh, yes! We were going to pave over this last pothole."
"I thought I was a roadblock."
"Typical nonhuman ignorance! Variable metaphors, road-related or otherwise, are one of the many things that make humanity so perfect... Hmm?"
He was interrupted by a series of shrieks from the planetarium below. He paused and looked down the ladder.
This proved to be a severe tactical error, as it gave Fantha the opportunity to shove him down the hole. She smiled as she watched the swarm devour him, then turned to her pet.
"There's some interesting insects down below. I don't plan on staying when they get tired of the meal down there and decide to start looking up here, and besides which, I'd like to deal with those human bastards who deprived me of so many meals. Care to come along?"
Nancy nodded, nervously.
"Good!" Fantha's body suddenly grew six dragonfly wings. "I have to say, perhaps it was a stroke of luck that the loud female caught me feeding while you were unconscious. I'm not sure I could have gotten such a nice set of wings otherwise. It was almost worth the trouble of chewing through her exoskeleton. Now, hold on tight, would you dear?"
Nancy grabbed Fantha's back, terrified, as the Bio Wyrm flew off towards the center of the city.
***
The crowd was growing, and somewhere along the line they had shifted from devotees to the newly returned Konka Rar to mere spectators. Several betting pools had started on which Konka Rar would emerge the winner, and an armored man with an arm made of energy had even started selling concessions.
Triumphian was not pleased with this. How dare they take the return of the Savior so lightly? He would have to remind them all of what was at stake here.
He started walking around the edges of the square, where the battle was taking place, and began preaching.
"You dare to make light of this battle?" he shouted. "Do you not realize what is at stake? Nothing less than all that is sacred in this world! Our Savior, Konka Rar, is battling against fiendish impostors who wish to corrupt your faith! Do not simply stand by and watch! Pray! Pray for Konka Rar's victory!"
A few of the more devout spectators followed his exhortations for prayer. Most, however, simply complained that the Pope was blocking their view of the fight.
One young boy had a different opinion on the matter entirely.
"Hey dad, can I ride on the dinosaur?" Ethan Broderburg asked.
"Ethan!" Clarice scolded him. "No you may not, for several reasons. First of all, it's dangerous. Second, it's disrespectful to get a piggyback ride from a major religious figure. Third, we're trying to blend in, and if you run out there and hop on a dinosaur's back, you're going to draw attention to us."
"Aw, Mooommm..." Ethan groaned.
"Listen to your mother, son," Tom said. "Now, let's get some snacks." He waved over to the concession-seller. Tom handed the one-solid-armed man five dollars, and was rewarded for his generosity with a box of toaster pastries.
"Dad, what is this?" Alison asked. "Are we supposed to just eat these cold? I don't think this guy really knows what he's doing."
"Oh well, I guess we'll just have to save them for later," Tom shrugged. "So, Clarice, which of them do you think is going to win?"
"Tom!" Clarice said, glaring at her husband. "You aren't going to place a bet, are you? I'm not even sure we should be letting Baby Emma watch this violence. Or Ethan, for that matter. Why, one of them's already been vaporised!"
"It'll be fine, dear," Tom reassured her. "Kids these days see worse things on TV. Anyways, I think the one with the skeletons is going to go down first; he just doesn't seem to be in the same league as the other two."
"Hey dad, there's a price tag on one of those skeletons!" Ethan said. "Can we buy it?"
"Sorry, Ethan, but no, we are not buying a skeleton from a possibly-fake cyborg lich. Especially not while he's in the middle of a fight. Besides, that's what, fifty dollars? Way too much for an impulse buy."
"I don't know, dear," Clarice mused. "Will the skeleton do the vacuuming for me? Or the laundry? It might be useful to have an extra set of hands around the house. Fifty dollars seems like a pretty good deal for that."
"Oh, all right, dear. I guess we can talk to him if he survives," Tom sighed. "But we're not making this purchase before we check his return policy!"
There was a loud roar behind them. The family turned around to see a dragon landing, with an old woman carrying a shield riding on its back.
"Is she Konka Rar too, Dad?" Ethan asked.
"Ethan!" Clarice scolded him. "That is a very rude thing to ask about your elders."
"Looks like she's not alone," Alison said. She pointed to the bug-covered man flying down, dropping off a passenger before he landed, and then a four-armed robot (which the family found oddly familiar) carrying a muscular old man with an anvil and forge on his back. Not long after, a variety of other people and odd creatures, gathered near them.
"Cool," Ethan said.
"You think everything is cool," Alison said. "I'm getting kind of bored with this, myself."
"Why?" her brother retorted. "No cute boys to look at?"
Alison glared at him. "Shut up, you little brat."
Clarice simply stared at the man covered in bugs with disgust.
"Somebody could really use a good bath," she muttered under her breath.
***
"Getting crowded over there," Dr. Anarchy noted. "Think I should fire another blast? See who it hits?"
"Nah," Brooklyn replied dismissively. "It looks like Emily's there, I just saw her dragon friend land. And I'd rather not draw her attention."
"Hmmph. Spoilsport."
"Hey, wait! I think I see the bigot army over there. Tell you what, see if you can hit Reinhardt. Even Emily won't complain too much about that."
"Ooh! I like the way you think. Hang on."
Anarchy lowered the scope on her goggles, raised her gun, and fired.
Nothing happened.
"Aww, dammit, not again!" Anarchy groaned. "Why does this stupid thing keep overloading? I was sure I fixed that this time! Now I gotta wait for it to cool down!"
"Damn. I mean, it would be fun to saw his face up, but that armor's going to be a real pain on my blades."
They kept flying, until Brooklyn suddenly stopped and turned towards a nearby rooftop. Anarchy flew ahead for a bit before she realized her companion had halted, then quickly turned her jetpack around.
"What's the holdup, Brook?" she asked. Then she saw Zeke on the rooftop, staring at the two of them. "Oh, hey there, ghost-boy. What brings you to this part of town."
He glared at the mad scientist duo for the better part of a minute before answering.
"Everyone is converging in Central Park," he finally said. "I will most likely find who I am looking for there."
"Cool," Anarchy said. "Want a ride? 'Cause you're not gettin' one!" She stuck her tongue out at the ninja, a gesture which did not faze him at all.
"I am more than capable of traversing this city on my own," he said simply. "All I ask is that you stay out of my way."
He leapt to the next rooftop without another word.
"Huh. Pleasant guy. Are the other ghosts like that?" Anarchy asked the chainsaw.
"Nah, he just doesn't like anyone. Zach's a much better conversationalist, for instance."
"Er, thank you, I suppose," the aforementioned spirit said, floating past.
"What are you doing?" Brooklyn asked. "Don't tell me you're getting involved in this mess, too?"
"Well, ahh... yes, but mostly because there isn't much else to do. At the very least, if a battle has arrived here and we're all doomed, I could at least see how it turns out."
"Didn't take you for the kind to enjoy bloodsport," Brooklyn replied. "You seemed more like the type of guy to enjoy a nice cup of tea."
"Well, yes, but I can't exactly drink any in this state. And it's more of an academic interest than anything, really. If I'm going to cease to exist when this round ends, I think I'd rather know when it's coming."
Anarchy sighed.
"Whatever. Look, I'm going on ahead. You two can stick around and keep chatting if you want."
***
From his perch on a rooftop, Jacob Helix looked down at the park below.
He turned suddenly as he heard a door behind him open; a man in black robes and a fancy hat walked out onto the roof, accompanied by a large silver serpent with muscular arms.
"Oh, hello there," the newcomer said. "Didn't realize anyone else would be here."
"Me neither," Jacob said. "'S sorta why I picked it."
"Not a people person?" the robed man asked, walking over to the swordsman. His snake slithered along with him. "'Spose I can relate to that. My god Azzie here, he told me that I should destroy the world. But then I looked outside and, well, hardly seems worth the effort, the place is halfway there already at this rate."
"Mmm," Jacob replied. After a pause, he extended a hand. "Jacob Helix."
"Augustus Grey, evidently," the stranger said, shaking it. "Or rather, Augustus the Divine Arbiter, servant of Azungrada the Great Destroyer." He paused. "He's the snake here, in case you were wondering."
"Just awakened?" Jacob asked.
"Yes. I suppose it was about time, what with a round coming here and all; probably anyone who hasn't yet will by the time it's all over."
"Unless they die first," Jacob mused.
"Could be." Augustus looked at the tree. "What's the deal with that tree, anyhow?"
"Oh, it's going to grow all over the place and wreck everything. If everyone doesn't just kill each other first." He glanced down. "Which is probably going to happen pretty soon; Reinhardt's army isn't that far off."
The two men paused at the sound of rocket thrusters overhead, then they watched as a ninja leapt onto their rooftop and then started climbing down the side of the building.
"You meet the strangest people in this city, don't you?" Augustus said.
"Yep. So, what can you tell me about this Great Destroyer of yours? Does he have an afterlife?"
"A world of unyielding torment for the sinners."
"What about for the non-sinners?"
Augustus shrugged. "He never really mentioned much about that part."
"Sounds like a raw deal if you ask me."
"Maybe. Oh well, I'll leave that problem to the poor sap whose memories I ended up with."
"Yeah, don't think it'll matter much either way in, oh, maybe an hour or two, tops."
There was a pause.
"So, did you put the tree there? You seem to know an awful lot about it."
"Yeah. Some goofball I know tried to talk me out of it, I yelled at him. I dunno where he is now, probably getting himself drunk silly."
Augustus looked thoughtful.
"I think that goofball had the right idea. Don't suppose you've got any booze on you?"
Jacob shook his head.
"A pity," the Divine Arbiter said. "I suppose we'll have to watch it all end while sober."
"Yeah, 's a damn shame. Guess I should've thought ahead about that."
***
It had taken about ten minutes for Phil to pry his eyes off Holly long enough to finish his dinner. The fact that it had gotten cold by then didn't seem to bother him much.
Phil's face, on the other hand, bothered Holly quite a bit. Ten minutes of staring at it had seemed like an eternity. He was just so goddamn ugly with all those scars.
Then an idle thought crossed her mind. Ugly was a mood, too, wasn't it? It seemed worth a try, at least.
A moment later, Phil was yelling at her to quit looking at him, and grumbling about how cold the food had been, and how uncomfortable his chair was, and how Reinhardt was an idiot, and anything else that popped into his mind. She almost regretted the change, but then again, the change in emotions would hardly be permanent. And his face was a lot nicer to look at now.
In fact, it occurred to her that he was actually rather handsome without the scars.
She walked over to her prisoner, smiling.
"Sounds like you're in a bad mood. Maybe I can help you feel better."
He opened his mouth to complain again, but he soon found it was difficult to protest anything with her mouth in the way.
After a few minutes, she paused, and looked him in the eyes.
"Feeling better?"
Phil nodded, smiling.
"Good."
She kissed him again. He reached his arms behind her back, one of them noticeably lower than the other.
She quickly slapped it away, and stopped.
"You're not quite good-looking enough to get away with that," she said, annoyed. Then she winked at him. "At least, not yet."
She leaned in again.
"Try booze," a grinning Jeremy Bracket said, staggering through the doorway with a bottle in each hand. "Does wonders for your standards."
Suddenly aware of their spectator, Holly and Phil stood up and separated themselves. Holly glared at the intruder.
"Do you mind?" she said angrily.
"Notatall," Jeremy said, still grinning. "I'd be happy to join in."
***
The park was becoming increasingly crowded.
No actual fighting had started yet, aside from the trio of Konka Rars, but with the Geiram Guard's arrival and the human army within sight, not to mention the chainsaw and mad scientist and ghost hovering overhead, the ninja scouring the crowd, and the Bio Wyrm host flying in with a woman on her back, it seemed inevitable that something would happen soon.
And that was why Pluck thought it was a good idea to leave. This had gotten much crazier than he'd expected at first, and without Bae, he didn't even really have a reason to stay around any more. He quietly slipped past the Broderburgs, and soon bumped into a man in a gray hoodie.
"Oh, uh, sorry," he said.
"Watch where you're going," the hooded man grumbled. Pluck apologized, pushed his way past.
Then he noticed that there were a lot more people around than when he had last looked. And more of them seemed to be literally appearing out of nowhere.
He soon found himself pushed to the ground by the man in the gray hoodie. He tried to pick himself up, and then was hit on the head by a floating obsidian chessboard that had materialized right over him.
Rubbing his head, Pluck decided to crawl out. He soon found himself being grabbed by the collar.
"Nice going, imbecile," John Smith said angrily. "I nearly had him, but then you put him on his guard. And now these strangers are going to find him first. I may be too late to stop that, but at least taking care of you will put me in a better mood."
In desperation, Pluck reached out to a nearby mind, hoping whatever he pulled out would help.
In a twist of fate, the mind he happened to land on was Pope Triumphian's.
"Cease this bickering!" the dinosaur yelled. "This is diverting us from our true purpose: to bear witness to Konka Rar's glorious return!"
As if on cue, a bright pillar of light appeared in the center of the square, and a hooded figure in a black robe descended from it. All eyes, including John Smith's were drawn to it, offering Pluck a chance to escape. Although he didn't get far before he looked back at the square and realized just what he had done.
Konka Rar had returned.
Spoiler
There's no reason for this | Or this | Death is inevitable | You can't challenge fate | The smallest change | I'm overwhelmed
I'm serious | It makes perfect sense | Easy as ABC! | I can't even explain it | Cleaning up someone else's mess
I suck | I rule | I've got it made | Really, I'm serious | This bugs me | It's all lies | I want to believe | Beauty is a curse
I'm serious | It makes perfect sense | Easy as ABC! | I can't even explain it | Cleaning up someone else's mess
I suck | I rule | I've got it made | Really, I'm serious | This bugs me | It's all lies | I want to believe | Beauty is a curse