ZooStuck

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

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And the bet was about whether destiny can be changed.

> How many pilebunkers can be put into a half-hammer's space, or something. Or was that the bet that was used to prove the real bet...

The bet was over who shot first in the origional War in the Stars Movie: Vann Bolo or the four armed three legged reptilian alien. The guy in Edmonton tricked you because the movie was actually called Vengance of the Sun God and it was a pumpkin man who shot both Vann and the alien encasing them both in solid blocks of Veridium.

when asked why he would use such horrible trickery, the Edmonton guy explained he was hit by a bad idea ray, and by (Sun) God he was gonna follow it through.

Ah, yes. The bet was about whether destiny could be changed: in the abstract, at least. In the specific, it was about who shot first in some movie. The Edmonton guy claimed that the experimental pumpkin-powered half-hammer could be filled with pilebunkers to allow it to travel through time, but this would not allow destiny to change and the movie would remain the same. But Zoosmell Pooplord's father believed destiny could be changed, and so he went back and altered the plot of the movie.

When he returned, the plot had been changed... or so he thought. The movie he changed had been cancelled regardless of its script, and the closest scenario happened in a different movie entirely. He lost the bet, and it was discovered that the Edmonton guy had only made it due to being zapped with a bad idea ray.

Regardless, you cannot allow Zoosmell to learn this story, because if he does...

If he finds out why, he'll join forces with Eggheimer, spelling the doom of your reality.

> He'll conclude that This Is Stupid and change his name back, and reality will go back to dull normalcy, before meteors put it out of it's misery.

He would join Eggbeater, spelling "the doom" on all the pumpkins in this reality.

...he will, with his young and susceptible mind, become convinced that Eggsworth there was onto something. He'll try to change his own past, prove that destiny can be changed, and cause his father to win the bet.

But in doing so, Zoosmell will become Eggfurter. For the sake of the world and hats everywhere, you cannot allow that to happen. Too bad you can't do anything, being just a hat...

HAVE YOU ALREADY FORGOTTEN THE TELEPATHIC LINK WE NOW SHARE

I HAVE SEEN ALL YOU HAVE PONDERED

I KNOW OF THE COMING DISASTER

I CAN WORK TO PREVENT IT

ESPECIALLY NOW THAT MY PEOPLE ARE HERE

Oh, hey, those weird underground-dwelling creatures have arrived. They look just like cats. Although since most people in this world don't know what cats look like, they're probably freaked out, especially since they can't be captured on film.

Okay, hat. You've got the help of a telepathic cat and an army of underground cats. Mr. Pooplord is still stalling, too embarrassed to reveal the full story, if you act fast you may be able to thwart this disaster.

It's time to move.

You are now John Eggwhatever. You are just recovering from a methane explosion. Fortunately, the remaining two phases of your plan will succeed despite this minor setback, and even if those were somehow thwarted, judging by the conversation between Pooplord and his father, Backup Plan 59-G is still plausible.

You aren't particularly fond of Backup Plan 59-G, as it entails allowing that insignificant Pooplord to live the life you have worked so hard for; admittedly, he is you, so this still furthers your overall plans, but you would prefer to have the satisfaction of destroying him.

Wait, what's going on? Those subterranean creatures seem to be up to something. But what could they possibly be doing, and how will you stop it?