ZooStuck

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

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> Is the cake done yet?

You have no idea. You just set the oven timer to whatever. You'll check when it goes off.

> get him to continue monologing; ask about the pajamas he's wearing.

It suddenly occurs to you that maybe you can stall by getting Eggburn to start blabbing again. In desperation, you ask where he got those pajamas.

"Pajamas? You ignorant simpleton! To think, that your pitiful existence stands in the way of mine! These clothes represent the power I have gained! The power to..."

Well, it seems to have worked. His minions have fallen asleep again, right in the middle of whatever the heck they were doing. But you're not too alert yourself right now, you can feel your eyelids dropping...

You have to act fast, before you pass out!

>> Unplug the Hipster's computer.

You rush over to the power bar as you start to yawn, and you grab the plug. You're about to pull it out...

But you can't stay awake any longer. You collapse with your fingers still around the cord...

...and your head falls on the power button, shutting it off.

"NOOOOOOO!"

You wake up with a start as your other self starts screaming. So does everyone else. You're kind of dazed and confused, but you realize that now you've got a chance to act. It's time to put an end to this.

> Your father is sleeping, ask him about your stupid name, and win adventure.

Namely, an end to wondering about your stupid name. You turn to your dad and ask why he gave you such a stupid name.

"Well, you see, son," he begins, awkwardly, breathing out fire with each syllable. "It all started when..."

"DAMMIT! It wasn't supposed to go up now, that's way too mainstream a time!"

Everyone stares at the hipster. After a few minutes, the pelvic-thrusting man decides to break the silence.

"Didn't your computer get shut off?"

"Exactly, man. Losing all your data when the computer shuts off is way too mainstream. Mine posts any unsaved data to my blog, you wouldn't understand."

There's another pause before Eggbill starts laughing again.

"This is exactly as I planned it!" he declares. "Now we need only run the game and connect the creator to it! What are you waiting for? Move!"

And now the lizardman's rushing outside with the package, and the old lady's following him for some reason. Meanwhile, the Sun God is flying off with your stupid jerk friend, who grabbed the bad idea ray from that one guy.

Well, this is just great. It looks like you might have to actually do something.

You are now some webcomic artist. You just checked the news sites today, and it seems like a lot of crazy stuff is going on in Portland, Oregon. The mayor tried to rob a police station, Powell's is refusing to serve living customers, and a race of subterranean creatures have started marching through the streets.

You feel like looking a little deeper into this stuff, maybe you can get a comic idea out of it. You start checking out some Portland blogs to see what the locals think.

Oh, that's a weird blog name. You feel compelled to take a look, though you're not entirely sure why.

Wait, what exactly is the name of this blog?