ZooStuck

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

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Robbing Big Guns R Us, of course.

> Rob the police station.

Oh, of course! The police station, which also serves as the local branch of Big Guns R Us. It's the perfect way to get the police's attention so you can steal their big guns!

You rush right over there and... Oh, dang it, someone else is already robbing the place! Now what are you going to do?

Kidnap a criminal, take their place.

Ah, yes, the perfect plan. You grab the criminal and prepare a clever plot to take their place... wait, huh, the police are cheering. You just saved the day. Well, dang, you've got to turn this around fast if you're going to start your crime spree!

You take a look at the criminal you captured and...

Wait, is that the mayor?

> Threaten to eat the mayor.

Thinking quickly, you threaten to eat the mayor if your demands aren't met. Unfortunately, the moment after you make the threat, you realize you haven't actually thought of any demands. Well, this is embarrassing.

You are now the Mayor of Portland. You were robbing the police station to take their guns when some nutcase took you hostage and threatened to eat you.

What are you going to do now?