ZooStuck

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

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> Welcome them the the most popular store in Portland!*

*In comparison to 'stores' that are actually holes in the ground. Pain Holes.

Well, when in doubt, go with what you know. You walk over to the old woman and the dead hipster and ask in your politest tone if there's something you can help them with.

"Well, young man, this dead boy here needs to boast on his plog or something, and we need a complicuticator so he can do that. Do you have any of those around here?"

You have no idea what this woman is talking about, and the dead hipster seems to just be in a state of shock and unable to clarify anything she's saying. You may need to try a different approach.

> Send the woman away. You only allow dead people.

Suddenly, you recall the memo that was posted last night. The new store policy is that only dead customers are allowed in.

You apologetically inform the old woman that under new store policies, she has to leave, though the hipster can stay. You have to repeat yourself a few times until she finally gets the idea and walks out.

Now you're left with this dead hipster in a state of shock. However, by a fortunate coincidence, you read through "How To Deal With A Dead Hipster In A State Of Shock" just the other day.

Now, what did the book recommend for this situation?