ZooStuck

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

---

Show Content

SpoilerImportant announcement.

Some of you may be puzzled by the suggestions I am using in this post, because you don't see them. There is a very simple explanation for this.

The posts in which these suggestions appear can only be seen by the truly wise, kind-hearted, and good-looking. If you don't see them, then I'm sorry to say you're not good enough and should be ashamed of yourself.

I'll try not to overuse these suggestions for the sake of clarity, but sometimes they're necessary to progress the intricate storyline of ZooStuck and thus unavoidable.

Go outside and grab your computer.

Man, you're so bored you might as well take another shot at figuring out that Oregon Trail game. It may be dumb and incomprehensible, but it beats looking directly at the sun or eating your own fingers.

You head out into the yard and retrieve your computer. It's a little banged-up, but you're too bored to care about that. You carry it back to your room and hook it up again. Amazingly, it still works, even though you're still stuck on that Oregon Trail game.

At least Bill Riff isn't in that line any more, although you have no idea what he's doing.

Be pestered by that guy you can't stand.

Oh, hey, it looks like TalkyBud still works. You're getting a pop-up indicating a message. There's only one person it could be from, but you're bored enough that you'll even talk to him for a while.

TalkyLog

Show Content

Spoiler*stupidJerk began talkies with zoosmellPooplord
SJ: Hey, I see you're playing the game.
SJ: It's awesome, isn't it? My character is an undercover sun nun.
SJ: That's a nun from the sun, not a nun who worships the sun.
SJ: Just so you're clear on that.
SJ: Are you there?
SJ: Or are you so engrossed in the excitement of the game that you won't say anything to me?
ZP: I can't figure out what to do.
ZP: I tried to exit the game but I couldn't figure that out either.
ZP: So I just tossed my computer out the window.
SJ: Uh
SJ: So how are you talking to me now?
ZP: I got bored, so I brought it back in and hooked it up again.
SJ: But... you never disconnected from TalkyBud.
SJ: It should have kicked you off when the computer shut down.
ZP: Beats me, I don't know anything about computers.
ZP: Speaking of which, can you help me get out of this game so I can muck around on the internet instead?
ZP: I have to do something while I wait for my pizza.
SJ: Why would you want to quit this amazing game?
SJ: Do you even realize what a privilege it is to be included in the beta?
ZP: Not really.
ZP: It is the first package I ever got, though, so that's cool, I guess.
ZP: Even if I couldn't figure out how to open it.
SJ: Are you just messing with me now
SJ: How are you playing the game if you didn't open the package?
ZP: I stuffed it into the CD tray.
SJ: That makes no sense, man.
SJ: Computers don't work that way, at all.
SJ: Look, just get your character to rendezvous with my sun nun, okay?
SJ: She's over at the jail and some lizard-guy with four legs instead of three is asking her what kind of pizza she hates the most.
SJ: I'll probably be done by the time you get over here.
ZP: How do I move?
SJ: Did you not find the command window yet?
SJ: Do I have to explain everything to you?
ZP: Well, yeah.
SJ: Ugh. You are such a noob.

Your jerk contact then informs you how to actually control your character, while berating you the whole time. You think you're getting the hang of this despite that.

You are Bill Riff again. You feel a sudden compulsion to go over to the jail and meet a food criminal. You have no idea why you're doing this. It's as if your every action is being determined by forces beyond your control.

Is there nothing you can do to fight back against this unknown entity commanding you?