ZooStuck

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

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Point it towards Canada in particular, maybe you can give people bad ideas for webcomics and/or webcomic-derived audience-participation-based entertainment vectors.

You decide to point the bad idea ray down at Earth. Specifically, Canada. More specifically, Edmonton. Whoever it hits down there can't be doing anything important, so who cares if they screw it up.

You are now a guy at a computer in Edmonton. You just had an idea for an adventure.

You think you'll call it ZooStuck.

You are the guy with the bad idea ray again. You have this sudden feeling that you have brought something terrifying into being, and you'd better point the device somewhere else before it gets any worse.

point it at some random spot in space where it wont do any damage to anyone important

point it at the shitty planet

You just point the ray out into space. According to your calculations, there should be no planets in the range of your beam, and any spaceships that happen to pass through won't have enough gravity to attract a significant level of bad idea radiation or whatever the hell this beam is made of. You're pretty sure that's how the physics works.

Well, maybe if there was a spaceship the size of a planet flying through there it would draw in the bad ideas. But what are the odds of that happening?

You are now that four-armed, three-legged lizard alien again and you have finally gotten your space helmet. Finally! You shove it over your head. Your ears are now clear of that stench, and you can barely even hear the emissions any more.

You also can't see a thing because you suddenly decided to put the helmet on backwards. You aren't entirely sure why.

You're an undercover sun nun.

You are now an undercover sun nun on a spaceship planet populated by four-armed, three-legged lizardpeople. It was difficult to get on board, but once you did everything went smoothly. Nobody saw through your clever disguise at all.

(Your clever disguise is a sign that says "I AM A FOUR-ARMED THREE-LEGGED LIZARDPERSON".)

What's your mission here, again?