ZooStuck

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

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> Use quetzalcoatl magics to fuse the two wrecked carvan into one working caravan

That might have worked if you had chosen a quetzalcoatl mage as your character, but you thought their stat distribution was poor so you opted for the shogun instead.

> Apologize the the Lady.

You promptly apologize to Lady Hopkins. She makes an awkward joke about how a deed to a farmhouse would be a suitable apology gift. You laugh awkwardly in return, thinking of your Great-Half-Aunt Eunice and how it's been a long time since you visited her, and how you hope to avoid doing so again anytime soon.

> Does either your or her character have a gun?
> If so:
1. Put the meat on the ground.
2. Get the gunpowder out of the bullets.
3. Spread the gunpowder on the side of the meat pile facing away from the direction you want to go.
4. Wait for the fire to hit the gunpowder.

Lady Hopkins suggests a way out of this situation. Her Marine Sniper takes out some ammunition and extracts the gunpowder from it - you didn't realize you could do that - and drops it all over...

Wait a minute! That's your salted beef! How dare she pour gunpowder all over it!

The ensuing explosion cuts off your protest as your characters are flung far away. You can't even see Lady Hopkins' character any more.

Ride a buffalo!

You can, however, see a buffalo. Surely riding it to Oregon will be faster than traveling by foot. You move your shogun towards it and...

My, it's a violent one. This could take a little while to manage. Still, you have the distinct feeling that it is very important to get to Oregon before the machine stops functioning, so you'd better keep at it.

You are now E.T. "Dark Vader" Phonehome, but you prefer to be called Phone. You are a cat, and you are currently trying to eat the entire world.

Just what part of the world are you eating at the moment?