ZooStuck

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

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>NOOGIE!

First things first. You give the enemy agent a noogie. This is clearly the most important step.

Hmm. You seem to have gotten your hand frozen to his head. Well that means you have less work to do in keeping him out of the way. You let him out of the headlock so you have a free hand and think about what to do next.

> Realize that everyone will die of cold if you don't do something.

It suddenly strikes you that if it's cold enough for you to get your hand frozen to this guy's head, it might be too cold for these socialites. Is that what he was doing with messing with this crazy machine? Trying to give everyone an unpleasantly chilly evening?

Well, you're not going to stand for this! You still have to figure out why exactly you were chasing this guy again, but it can wait until you've dealt with his current evil plan.

> Hack one of the game consoles so that it burns everything. Then it will cancel out with the freezing one.

Your first thought is to try to set the machine in reverse so it starts emiting heat instead, but you don't actually have any idea how to do that, and besides which the control console is frosted over already.

Then you realize you're still exhaling fire, and the solution becomes clear: Breathe fire onto the console to melt the ice!

> Destroy the machine. It's the only way!

It doesn't work exactly the way you hoped. The machine is a little, um, on fire. You get the feeling it would be good to run, so you start doing that, with the enemy agent still frozen to your hand.

You are now Lord Huffington. You are playing a game with some strange woman who has odd ideas about flirting. As first you were put off by her bizarre advances, but now you find yourself strangely intrigued. Perhaps you can use this game as a way to sort out your conflicting feelings.

However, you also notice that it is getting cold in here, and the machine is on fire. By what is either a remarkable coincidence or an ingenious piece of programming that analyzes the surrounding environs, the game has shifted to a frozen wasteland where everything is on fire.

Also, a strange fire-breathing man just ran out from behind the machine, with the programmer (still pelvic-thrusting) evidently frozen to his hand. Is he some sort of technician? And if so, is this company hiring ex-circus performers or something?

Oh, blast, all this nonsense is distracting you from the game. You need to work quickly, you don't want Lady Hopkins to build up a lead on you. Even if you don't really understand how the scoring works.

What are you going to do?