ZooStuck

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

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>Identify which gender he is using college-level biologist techniques

You remember something from your last biology class about mating rituals. Clearly the same methods will be totally applicable here! Let's see, you scrutinize him closely, strut and do a mating dance, sniff him, spray pheromones all over him... wait, how do you spray pheromones again? Great, they probably covered that during the lecture where you fell asleep.

Lord Huffington seems perturbed. Somehow your feminine wiles have failed to get him to lower his guard! You'll have to get him in a compromising position some other way, but what can you do?

Quickly, knit an ugly Christmas sweater and put it on him! He'll never live it down!

Of course! There's more than one way to embarrass a nobleman! All you need to do is knit a sweater and somehow get it on him while he's inexplicably terrified of you and likely to run away at any moment!

There's just one problem: You don't have any yarn. Or knitting needles. Or knowledge of how to knit. Or any idea what size sweater he wears. Okay, that may be more than one problem, technically.

What are you going to do?