ZooStuck

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

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> Punch everyone in front of you.

What? Violently force your way to the front of the line? That would completely ruin your social standing! These are your enlightened people! It would be unbelievably rude to use violence against them as if they were a primitive barbaric tribe on a world you were going to colonize! Honestly, the very idea.

Punch everyone behind you.

This, on the other hand, is perfectly acceptable. Anyone behind you is clearly an inferior, either unable to consider this solution until after you did or lacking in the physical capability to arrive before you. Violence against equals and superiors is unthinkable, but violence against inferiors can only encourage them to improve themselves.

You punch the five inferiors who have lined up behind you while you were considering solutions. This has been a valuable service to them and to society, but it has not brought you any closer to the start of the line.

Also, you have now been punched by twelve people ahead of you for being inferior. This valuable service to you and society is starting to get painful.

> Grab some paper and plug your nose instead, suggest this idea to everyone,hopefully thinning the line to something manageable;e

Paper? What is this concept? You vaguely remember studying archives relating to a pulp-based data-recording material, but the global computer system has long rendered it obsolete.

Besides, what good would it do to plug your nose? Sure, you wouldn't hear the constant noises, but that's not much comfort if you can still smell it. What a nonsensical idea, it would only make sense if your olfactory receptors were in your nose instead of your ears. How would anyone even imagine such a concept?

Light a match!

All potential ignitive substances and objects have been banned for a long time. This is due to a prophecy that the air would one day be filled with methane and some idiot would light it up for kicks if given half a chance.

Your society's foresight has stopped you from doing a lot of fun things before you even thought of them. This has been a major problem in your life.

Wait for quite a while

Unfortunately, in the end you cannot think of anything to do except continue waiting in line as the smell grows worse. You will be here for quite a few hour-cycles. What a shame you cannot shift your perspective to someone else to avoid the pervasive boredom.

You are now Zoosmell Pooplord. You have just opened the mailbox and found a package. Since you have no friends who might mail packages to you, it's probably that new game.

What will you do?