ZooStuck

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

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The cat was Phone.

> He lives at the end of this trail.

Full name E.T Phonehome.

you fathger, dark vader, was phone

Your identical twin sister.

Ah, that's right. Your father, who is somehow also your identical twin sister and a cat, is E.T. "Dark Vader" Phonehome and can no doubt be found at the end of this trail...

Oh, whoops. He (she?) just showed up and started eating the remnants of this cardboard fortress. And then these dumb kids who showed up out of nowhere.

CHILD

Oh, great, he/she's doing that creepy talk-into-your-mind thing again, daaad (or sis) why do you always have to do that?

I AM NOT HERE FOR YOUR MEANINGLESS PRATTLE CHILD

WHERE IS THE HAT

THE HAT WHICH MAY END MY INSATIABLE HUNGER

It's right here, geez... whoops, the wind blew it away.

ONCE AGAIN YOUR INCOMPETENCE SPELLS OUR DOOM CHILD

MUST I REMIND YOU OF HOW I GAINED THIS HUNGER

No, not really, especially not with a creepy flashback...

Oh, dammit, it's a creepy flashback. Thanks a lot, Dad/Sis/Whatever-You-Are!

Anyways, you are... whoever the hell you were before being Will Smith. That's probably not important. You run a restaurant, and this strange creature you've never seen a picture of has taken up residence, but that's also probably not important. You also have a nice hat, but that too probably isn't important.

What is important is that there's a strange pumpkin-headed creature who has just ordered a watermelon, and you accidentally gave him a cheeseburger. Offended, he has called out his kinsmen to attack your restaurant.

How the hell did you get out of this, again?