ZooStuck

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

---

> Eat the package. It can't hurt anybody now!

You briefly consider eating the package, but then you remember that you have a connection to the global computer system built into your digestive tract that automatically scans and installs any software that happens to pass through you.

Somehow, the immense security flaws in this setup are only striking you right now. Regardless, you'll need to think of something else to do about this game.

Smash the package on the floor, as is your people's custom with deliveries.

You decide to try a cruder tactic and simply smash it against the floor.

But wait! The floor sensors are sure to scan the shattered pieces of the disc and then install it on the global computer system! Drat, this won't do, you'll need to think of another plan.

>nuke the package

Of course! You can just blow up the package! You'll just request a nuclear warhead from the global computer system and...

Oh, wait, the nuclear warheads are all equipped with scanners and install backups of whatever they destroy just in case they destroy the wrong thing. Stupid foresight! This isn't the first time it's interfered with your crazy and impulsive plans!

> Throw the package into the fires of Mount Doom.

Perhaps you can simply toss this package into the nearby volcano... No, wait, the volcano monitoring system will scan it and install the game in the global computer system.

Wow, for a civilization that lives in fear of being doomed by installing a new game, your society sure has a lot of ways to inadvertently install it in the global computer system. Maybe you guys aren't so great at this foresight thing after all.

GIVE IN TO YOUR CURIOSITY

You know what they say, curiosity killed the cat, or they would if they knew what a cat was.

That saying wouldn't be reassuring at all, but since you have no idea what a cat is you also don't know the saying. You decide to open the package and take a peek; surely that will only slightly doom your civilization, right?

Oh, wait. How disappointing. This isn't the civilization-dooming game foretold in prophecy, it's just Oregon Trail. The civilization-dooming game must be in that other package, the ominous black one with skulls and various hazard symbols pasted all over it.

Well, there's no harm in installing this in the global computer system and trying it out. Now, what sort of character will you be guiding to the mystical land of Oregon?