ZooStuck

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

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Ask for your one phone call, and use it to order a pizza

Man, all this worrying has made you hungry. You think you should order a pizza, and ask the officer watching you if you can have your one phone call. He just stares at you.

"Sir, you realize you're not actually under arrest, right? We just want to understand how someone managed to run over a car."

> Just be patient, they won't lock you up for accidentally running over a car. ...It was an accident, right?

Oh. Well, you can't actually explain that. Maybe once they understand that you can't, they'll let you go. It shouldn't be that bad, right?

Another officer walks in.

"Just got a call in from the hospital. Apparently, the car was made out of cardboard. Fully functional, just everything was painted cardboard."

"Wow. That's pretty crazy."

"Yeah, I know. Anyhow, it more or less explains how this guy did so much damage, so there's no real need to keep him here." He turns to you. "You can go now."

You just stare at him, lost in thought.

"Hello? I said you can go now. As in leave. Scram!"

Suddenly develop a deep empathetic bond with the hat and forget the existence of your son.

These fifteen minutes in the police station have driven you to despair. Your only companion, the only one who truly understands you, is this hat that blew onto your head by chance.

But was it chance... or was it DESTINY?

You were alone in this world until this hat found you. No one else could understand your plight. Perhaps you had other people in your life, but they seem unimportant now. They weren't here for you in your fifteen minutes of need. This hat was for at least two or three of those minutes. It is your only true friend, your only true family.

And now, at last, you are free. Free to freely walk the free streets of freedom, you and your hat, and...

Oh, crap, you're going to be late for work! How are you going to get there on time?