The Further Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

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Murder is the only solution. To everything. Ever.

Perfect! You decide to murder England, because you have no idea what it even means to murder a place, and therefore it's pointless to try.

>Take the pogo-stick and try to use it as a saw in order to saw your arm off, so you can break out of the grapple.

In your pointless quest to murder England, you come up with a pointless solution to a problem you aren't facing which involves an item that isn't here.



And somehow that's brought you into the next room.

BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH

You shout "BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH" at the top of your lungs for no reason.



Oh look. That opened a mysterious portal, which probably leads somewhere interesting and/or useful. So you'd better find a way to close it again!

>Weren't you supposed to be punching everything?

You don't remember making such a pledge.



So of course there's no reason to assume that you did.



You punch the strange portal.

Whatever: Attempt to secure a low-interest loan from Uncle Pennybags in order to kickstart your Evil Empire of Lime-ade.

That sounds very random. You ask the unconscious stranger if he has any idea where you can find Uncle Pennybags.



He doesn't seem too interested in helping you. Oh well!

>Grope the bride.

You can't do that! You don't know these people at all, you don't know anything about any bride, and oh yeah, you're still unconscious.



Maybe you should do something about that last part. Who knows what you're missing.

Squeal like a fish and piss on N. Seyn.

How exactly does that further your evil plans? Or help you destroy these interlopers? Honestly, it's as if you're trying to be unhelpful.

> Shout MAGENTA. IS. POWER! and then turn Teal instead

That is completely absurd.



Everyone knows Crimson is the color of true power!



Now you can destroy these fools with ease! Or at least, you could if you weren't still unconscious.

Flail about in a distracting manner.

You are Nopor Puss again, and you've decide that it would be very pointless to distract an unconscious person. So that's what you've decided to do!

Nothing. Attempt to not so much as breathe for at least an hour.

It then occurs to you that it would be completely pointless to do nothing at all, including breathing.



It's not long before you pass out.



Oh, hey. You're awake now. And by the looks of things, you and your team were captured and thrown into some kind of elaborate deathtrap while you were unconscious.

So what are you going to do?

SpoilerShow

So it turns out this is the 50th update. Hooray!

I'm still queueing up commands, continue to make more in the meantime. Maybe next update I'll actually be caught up!