The Further Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

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>Give the ice dragon a massage. Since it is your ally, it would serve no purpose for the dragon to be relaxed when it should be tense and alert.

You leave the castle.



You make your way back to the ice castle...



...and jump down the hole.



Here, you find the ice dragon examining something, which apparently was knocked loose from the rubble of the other statue.



The ice dragon touches the strange crystal!





The Ice Dragon Statue has transformed into the Super Ice Dragon! It suddenly attacks!



You open the battle by giving it a relaxing massage.





Your hands are now stuck to the Super Ice Dragon's freezing-cold body.

>Store some of those lists in your inventory. Then the lists will be outdated since you'll have more stuff in your inventory so write some more new lists. Store them in your inventory and write some new lists. Repeat until you feel like your handwriting is about to improve.

While your hands are stuck to a hostile ice dragon, you decide to pick up the scattered lists.











With great difficulty, you gather all the lists and put them in your pocket, unlocking the Pocket equipment slot! Drat!



You then attempt to make new lists. This is incredibly difficult.



However, you soon find yourself getting the hang of it, and being able to write better while having your hands stuck to the ice dragon.



This seems suspiciously like developing a skill that could one day be useful, so you stop.

> Nopor: since you're no longer in the ice room, repeat many of the pointless actions that could only have been understood in the context of a cold room

Wait, you're in an ice room now! Just a moment.









You return to Konka Rar's castle, your hands still stuck to the ice dragon.



All right, where were we?

>Soak yourself in the water on the right of the room.

You move over to the completely dry right side of the room, and attempt to soak yourself in water.

> Lick a boulder and probably get your tongue stuck doing so.

You then attempt to get your tongue stuck on a boulder that doesn't exist.

> Warm random, non-contiguous sections of the floor of this room by rubbing them vigorously. The net effect this will have on the total warmth of the floor, much less the room, is miniscule, and your hand will become cold, numb, and painful relatively quickly.

Next, you attempt to warm the floor by rubbing it while your hands are stuck to an ice dragon.



In the process, you somehow manage to get your feet stuck to the dragon as well.

> Do the same with your tongue, as it's likely to become frozen to the floor, leaving you immobile in a terribly uncomfortable position.

For an encore, you attempt to warm the floor with your tongue.



After a pointlessly painful attempt to do so, you find you have somehow turned yourself upside-down, and you are still stuck to the ice dragon.

> realise there would be great point in advancing through the dungeon already, and so push a dragon statue in front of the doorway to render this impossible.

There are four perfectly good dragon statues you could push in this room.



So obviously, you'll have to find another one!



...I'm going to be honest, I have no idea how you managed to find your way back to Hell. Seriously, your guess is as good as mine.



The intense heat of Hell slowly melts the ice dragon, setting you free and releasing the strange crystal. You decide to pointlessly move as though you are still stuck to the ice dragon, however.



Your Point Meter goes up by 2 for your rather indirect role in the destruction of the ice dragon.



Also, Whatever takes the crystal. He gains a strange power, which he swears to only use for randomness.



Meanwhile, you have a dragon statue to push.



All the way back to Konka Rar's castle. While continuing to move as though you were stuck to an ice dragon. I won't even pretend to understand it.



You have now blocked the path further in to Konka Rar's castle with a dragon statue. Congratulations.

>Jump in a pit.

You decide to jump in a pit that isn't there.

>While you are falling, move your arms as if you could swim through the air - doubly pointless, since not only can't you swim through the air, there isn't even a pit to begin with.

You then move your arms as if you could swim through the air. In the process, you turn yourself right-side up again.

>Those suits of armor probably would give a wonderful defense bonus if you wear them. Make one suit wear the other to increase its weight and impractility, then wear both at the same time by being on the inside of both.

You shove one suit of armor inside the other.



You then squeeze yourself inside the other suit. You can barely move.

What will you do now?